dropouts

“The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.”   Vince Lombardi

In the economy or world we live in now many people have dropped out of the workforce completely.   They have stopped looking and more than likely all their unemployment benefits have run out as well.   There is a huge reservoir of unemployed people who have given up, have lost hope and the determination to find new work.   The statistics show an 8.1% unemployment rate and it doesn’t include a huge pool of people who have given up.    When all the people looking and not looking for work (though they do want to work) the unemployment rate creeps to 22.5% which is much higher than what the government reports.

What is the country losing?

If you’ve been down-sized, right-sized, or displaced share your story.   What was it like to find out your career was ending?    What would you change for the future?

What is your story?

Vocation

“A society in which vocation and job are separated for most people gradually creates an economy that is often devoid of spirit, one that frequently fills our pocketbooks at the cost of emptying our souls.”  - Sam Keen

Vocation means “calling”, a call to do something with your life.  Now, what most of us do is get a job and work at that job for a number of years.   The job becomes a means to an end, a way to pay for the things we want and for many people something rather meaningless.   At some point it becomes clear that the work you are doing has no connection to your strengths or desires.

Laurence Boldt the author of “How to find the work you Love” points out the fact that it is more important to do work that matters rather than doing work for the sake of work.   For the “boomers” work held the notion that you committed yourself to an organization and the organization provided long-term employment for that commitment.   In the 90′s that changed and many “boomers” found themselves being laid off from work they did out of routine more than out of personal purpose.    Technology shifted the domain of work from hands to head.   Those who were in jobs that were manual in nature found that those jobs were easily exported overseas where the cost of labor was less expensive.

The newer generations know that organizations won’t commit themselves to their employees so they have become much more mobile and shift jobs more often.

Still there is an issue.  Do you work for money or do you work because the work you are doing has meaning for you?    Does the work you do involve the use of your strengths and creative talents?   If it doesn’t the connection to the work you do will be small.    Most people start their careers with hope and a lot of energy.  If that work doesn’t match who they are then it will take more energy from the individual than they can manufacture and it will result in diminished results over time.   We can’t continually do work that has low or no meaning as it takes more energy than we can supply.     You’ve seen people who have become tired of the work they are doing.  They have lost passion, the energy, the desire and the reason to come to work excited.   There is nothing there for them and yet they continue to come to work and they do it because they feel that is the only way for them to make money.

Laurence Boldt claims that “doing the work you love means living  your philosophy”.     It means that if you are able to do what you love you will be in alignment with your values and that will lead to happiness.     If you are living for the weekends then it is likely you are not doing the work that is meaningful for you.

How do you get out of the trap?

1. Define who you are.

2. Find out what your strengths are.

3. Find out what you value.   What do you want to contribute?

4. Create a plan that will allow you to do work that matters to you.

5. Execute the plan.
Monty Python takes a unique look at vocations. Through the unique lens of humor we can see that many people are trapped in careers that provide no meaning or joy.

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Are you doing the best thing for you and your life?

Health

“Time And health are two precious assets that we don’t recognize and appreciate until they have been depleted.”  Denis Waitley

Health and happiness are tightly woven together.   People who exercise are going to benefit from the post-exercise benefits for as much as 12 hours according to an  article in U.S News and World Report.   Twelve hours of positive benefits from moderate exercise (20 minutes) per day helps increase brain mood, or happiness.

How much exercise are you getting on  a daily basis?

Another important factor is sleep.   Regular, routine sleep of 7-8 hours.  That makes a big difference.   People with adequate sleep experience less stress and are able to handle stress better.   The Huffington Post gives 11 reasons why sleep is beneficial.   Creating new sleep habits, having regular times for sleep will provide long-term benefits.   Instead of reading one more email, watching one more movie or doing one more extra thing at the end of the day, stop and go to bed instead.   Getting the sleep you need will have long-term and short-term benefits and will improve your happiness as well.

How much sleep do you get each night?

Finally, diet.   How many times in an average week do you find yourself at the counter of a fast food restaurant and most food chains qualify as fast food?   In the US obesity is an epidemic.   Cheap high calorie food for those who sit more at work and at home is contributing to increases in lifestyle diseases such as type II diabetes.   In one report it  is estimated that the current generation of kids  is likely to have a shorter lifespan than their parents, reversing a long trend of longer lifespans.    Eating cheap, available high calorie foods is not helping our kids, our families or our health.   It may be convenient to stop and get a quick meal in the rush to cram a little bit more into a day, but eventually there is a high price to pay, and that will be quality of life.   Lifestyle diseases are not easy to or cheap to fix.   It pays to spend time preparing and eating healthy meals.

How much fast food is in your diet?

Health is a choice, getting 30 minutes of exercise per day, getting enough sleep per night and eating the right foods are all choices people make.   Some people make those choices without thinking about the long-term consequences of those choices.

Being healthy leads to greater happiness, and it also leads to a higher quality of life.   Think about your health habits, what could change to make your life better?

Excuses

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.” George Bernard Shaw

Excuses …. how many do you make in a single day?   There is always a reason not to do something and that reason is most likely an excuse.   Excuses become habits and habits become a way of life.

What is the origin of excuses?    When people are feeling disempowered one way to recover that power is to redirect the negative energy towards something else.    If there was no personal threat then excuses would never need to be uttered.

To live to your full potential  excuses must be replaced by  responsibility.

Popular  excuses:

1.It is too hard

2. I don’t have the time.

3. I am not good enough

4. I don’t have the money

5. I’m not smart enough

6. I’m too old or I’m not old enough

7. I don’t have the experience

8. I’m afraid

9. I don’t deserve to be successful

Which excuse is your favorite?    What popular excuse do you use on a regular basis?

When someone asks you what you really want to do,  do you follow that up with, “I don’t have the time, …, it’s true”.    What are you really saying when you say ,”it’s true”.    Does the “it’s true” statement validate your excuse?   Of course it is true for you.   Why should it be that way?    What would it take to counter the excuse?

What happens when we live behind the door of excuses?   What do you think that does to your life?

For the next week write down all the excuses you make.  Just notice them and write them down.   At the end of the week, notice what excuses you were making and how often you were making them.    What does that tell you?

Live without excuses.

what one thing?

“When we see the need for deep change, we usually see it as something that needs to take place in someone else. In our roles of authority, such as parent, teacher, or boss, we are particularly quick to direct others to change. Such directives often fail, and we respond to the resistance by increasing our efforts. The power struggle that follows seldom results in change or brings about excellence. One of the most important insights about the need to bring about deep change in others has to do with where deep change actually starts.”  Robert E. Quinn

One thing

If you were to change one thing in your life what would it be?

Send me an email – coachwithheart@gmail.com and tell me what that one thing is you’d like to change.     Go ahead do it now.

Celebrate by bringing something new into your life.

Great challenges

“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” – Bernice Johnson Reagon

People who often are great successes often face great challenges.

Challenge is what it takes to move beyond where you are today.  Challenge.  Without a consistent appropriate level of challenge we fail to move forward in our lives.  Challenge creates stress and stress opens us up to learning and learning leads to growth and growth leads to change and change is what allows us to be successful in any domain we choose to operate in.

What happens though is people walk away from challenge.   Many perceive challenge as a threat, a threat to the comfort of the status quo or a threat to self-esteem.

Some of the things that stop people from accepting or creating challenge in their life include:

1. No commitment to making a change

2. Lack the discipline to accept a challenge

3. Lack of encouragement from their peer group

4. Internal emotional blocks

5. No written goals

What challenges do you face?   What challenges are you backing away from?  How do you manage challenge?

“You’ve got to follow your passion.  You’ve got to figure out what it is you love–who you really are.  And have the courage to do that.  I believe that the only courage anybody ever needs is the courage to follow your own dream.”  Oprah Winfrey

be

“We are so obsessed with doing that we have no time and no imagination left for being. As a result, men are valued not for what they are but for what they do or what they have—for their usefulness.”  Thomas Merton

Much of what we are is a reflection of what we do.   Doing doesn’t leave much time for creating something new.     For so much of our lives we are focused on generating what we believe to be an image of success.  Our identity is wrapped up in what we do not in who we are.    It is easy to hide in your identity of the past or your  identity of the future.    Our identify becomes a habit, a habit we support with the accolades of those we impress.

Og Mandino writes, “the point is to learn to find  those things that let your feel exhilarated and alive”.    The point is at some place in our life we stopped taking risks, stopped putting in that extra effort and stopped living.    Stepping outside of habit requires us to:

1. Be creative

2. Be concerned

3. Be courageous

4. Be caring

5. Be alive

6. Be passionate

7. Be enthusiastic

Define your identity in terms of your “being”.   What would your identity be?   Choose the words that state boldly who you are.   Leave the words “hope” and “if” by the wayside and choose powerful words that describe who you will be and who you are.

Don’t ask permission to “be”, just start being.

“I believe life is to be lived, not worked, enjoyed, not agonized, loved, not hated.” Leland Bartlett

triangle

“Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control: now. “
Denis Waitley

“Learn from the past” …. wisdom

“detailed goals for the future” … intention

“live in the moment” … action

Use the past to learn, understand and grow.  Let the past be the soil for growth.   Use the future to dream, to  hope,  to plan and to aspire to.   Let the future be the energy for success.   Use the present to gain strength, confidence and a sure footing.   Let the present be the moment you act.

So often the past is only filled with regret and anger.   Take a few minutes and listen to the words others speak.   What are they really saying?   What are you hearing, listen closely and don’t speak, just listen.    What do you hear?   “If I”, “I could have …”, “I should have …. “, “I would have …”, those are the words of dreams that were put in a box and never allowed to live.    The words “if”, “could”, “should”, “would” leave a person powerless to change the present to live in a better future.

The future is filled with hope, with dreams and with desire.   The future is also filled with unkempt promises and commitment.    The future is a place called “tomorrow” and while it holds the dreams of every man it also holds captive the action required to make those dreams alive.

Now, this very moment,  is a time for action.   It is a place where dreams unfold and color takes the place of black and white.   It is a place where magic can happen if action is taken.   Now is a point in time where dreams unfold and become real.    The present is a time of movement, a time of choice, and a time of responsibility, it is a place where a person isn’t held captive.

What are you doing now to pursue your dreams and goals?   If you are holding on to the pain of the past you aren’t growing.   If you are tied to the  hope of the future you aren’t moving.     Only in the present can we adjust the sails of the ship.  Only in the present can we experience the wind in our face.  Only in the present can we take steps to live the life we want to live.

What are you doing right now, right now, to live the life you desire to live?   What choices are you making that will allow you to live that life you hold captive in your dreams?    What is stopping you if you aren’t taking the steps that lead you closer to living a full life?

unconscious living

“There are many wonderful things that will never be done if you do not do them.”   Charles D. Gill

“But, I can’t” … you’ve heard this before, maybe those are the words you uttered as well, “I can’t ….”, and if you ask why you might hear the words that are tied to a fear.    Often the words “I can’t” are spoken before there is any conscious thought.  It is as if “I can’t” rolls off the tongue with a high degree of practice, and it does.

What does “I can’t” speak to?   It speaks to fear, a fear of failure, a fear of success or a fear of loss.   “I can’t” really says I am not ready to make a change in my life because I am afraid of what the result could be and that result could be less favorable than I desire.   (It might cost money I don’t have, or It might cause me to lose something I can’t afford to lose right now, or It might make me feel bad, or It might make me look bad, or …. ).

In many cases there are words that we speak that we don’t create but rather words that are spoken in reaction to an event or a thought.   When our language becomes a reflex rather than a response we have trained our brain to do something without thinking about it.   It happens every day.  If you drive a car there is a lot of the driving process which has been pushed out of conscious thought to the point that driving can be unconscious.  (Think about the last time  you drove somewhere and don’t remember the journey).

Let’s say you have made a declaration to create success in your life.  To do that means that you are choosing the unknown.   To make a large shift in your life will push you in a direction in which you are not familiar and that generates fear.   To make steps forward means stepping into areas in which you have little or no experience and means making a choice to live consciously by making small effective choices to advance you in the direction you want to go.

To shift from unconscious living to conscious living is having an important goal, a goal that can become a driving force in your life.   What is your big goal that you are working towards?    Are you letting your programmed response to life stop you or are you taking the steps you need to take to grow and succeed?

on this fateful day …

The day the world changed.

It was a moment in time when people’s hearts started beating differently.  It was a moment in time when your world shifted.

It might have been a moment when it crystallized in your thoughts how fragile life is.   What changed in you?   What new realizations did you have?  What new actions were you going to take?

Sometimes people change the direction of their lives when tragedy strikes, for others it is a blip in the trajectory of their existence.   For some people it meant ensuring that those closest to them knew that they mattered.  It may have been a time to ask forgiveness or share their true feelings or to recommit to a relationship that had gone sour.   What changed for you?

What moves you to take action?  Does it take a massive and violent attack on your way of life or do you see what is best for you and then take action?

Everyone experiences some type of 9/11 experience in their life.  Some use that experience as a wake up call, a time to start taking action.  For others it means withdrawal and moving backwards and becoming a victim of the event rather than making a choice to take action.   Fear drives withdrawal, opportunity causes action.   What do you do when faced with great challenges?

Take this chance to evaluate where you are today:

Use a scale of 1-10, 1 = Not at all, 10 = Very much so

1. My life is close to my ideal

2. The conditions in my life are very satisfying

3. I am satisfied with my life

4. I have most of what I want out of life

5. I have no regrets about my life so far

Add up the score.

My life is very good – ( 40 or above)

My life has opportunities –  (30 – 39)

My life could use improvement  (20 – 29)

My life needs a lot of work   (  less than 20)

Make today the day you start working on your life.   Don’t wait for something tragic to motivate you.