why coaching matters …

“The sort of coaching that fosters effective innovation and judgment, not merely the replication of technique, may not be so easy to cultivate. Yet modern society increasingly depends on ordinary people taking responsibility for doing extraordinary things: operating inside people’s bodies, teaching eighth graders algebraic concepts that Euclid would have struggled with, building a highway through a mountain, constructing a wireless computer network across a state, running a factory, reducing a city’s crime rate. In the absence of guidance, how many people can do such complex tasks at the level we require? With a diploma, a few will achieve sustained mastery; with a good coach, many could. We treat guidance for professionals as a luxury—you can guess what gets cut first when school-district budgets are slashed. But coaching may prove essential to the success of modern society.

There was a moment in sports when employing a coach was unimaginable—and then came a time when not doing so was unimaginable. We care about results in sports, and if we care half as much about results in schools and in hospitals we may reach the same conclusion. Local health systems may need to go the way of the Albemarle school district. We could create coaching programs not only for surgeons but for other doctors, too—internists aiming to sharpen their diagnostic skills, cardiologists aiming to improve their heart-attack outcomes, and all of us who have to figure out ways to use our resources more efficiently. In the past year, I’ve thought nothing of asking my hospital to spend some hundred thousand dollars to upgrade the surgical equipment I use, in the vague hope of giving me finer precision and reducing complications. Avoiding just one major complication saves, on average, fourteen thousand dollars in medical costs—not to mention harm to a human being. So it seems worth it. But the three or four hours I’ve spent with Osteen each month have almost certainly added more to my capabilities than any of this.”  by Atul Gawande  Read more

The above paragraphs are from a much longer article in the “New Yorker” magazine in which a surgeon describes the benefits of having a coach.    Like athletes or anyone who desires to rise to a level of personal or professional performance that they have not obtained before coaching is the way to do it.  Coaching provides an objective, non-judgmental framework,  a new perspective and view of the world the client lives and works in.

Rarely do we ask, “How can I get better at _________?”   Many people just drift through life hoping that something will change their life for the better.  It is living life passively that holds people back from the success they desire.   When someone takes an active and participative role their life changes for the better more often than not.   When a person decides that they can’t make changes alone and they would do better with some assistance, it is then that they can make superb progress in all areas of their life.

We are living our lives at a new speed, a speed that has increased dramatically over the past 10-15 years.    In this faster world we live in using the methods of the past to cope with change just isn’t enough anymore.    The speed of technology and innovation is pushing people their limits and most people are relying on the habits of the past to cope and it just isn’t working any longer.

Coaching may be the most effective method of managing the speed of change and preparing yourself for a better future.   Why wait until it is an emergency to make the changes you know you want to make.   Get a coach today, start raising your level of performance now so that you can create the future you desire.

What do you think?  What does coaching offer and it is the way to gain a competitive edge for the future?

the stormy present

“The dogmas of the quiet past, are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise — with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew, and act anew. “
–December 1, 1862  Abraham Lincoln

Make today the day you start doing something new for yourself.  In 1862 President Lincoln called out to say, “we face a new day,  a new era, new changes and we can no longer think and act like we did in the past.”   We are at that new day, that new era, that new place and we can no longer depend on what worked in the past to work for us in the future.

The economy is floundering and bouncing around without a clear direction.  It is waiting for something but what?  It is waiting for “you” to take action.

If you’re thinking, “How can I change the economy?”   It starts when you fully engage in everyday life.   It starts when you go to work and you put in 100% of you into the work.  It starts when you put 100% of you into life.  It starts when you believe that you can make a difference.

One of the problems we face today is the fact that everyone is waiting for someone else to make a difference.     Take a look at a company like Zappos where their values reflect leadership, authenticity, and creativity.  They have abolished a model of leadership that should have passed away at the end of the industrial age.   It is a place where ideas flourish and egos (those who use positional power as a leadership model) have faded out of the picture.   Zappos has instituted a new model of leadership that engages people in the work they do. The point is that when a company (which is just a large community of people with a common purpose, focus and goal) takes action things happen for the good.  If you took action and had a purpose, focus and a goal imagine what would happen in your life.

If you are waiting for something to happen for you then you’re not taking charge of your life.   If you are someone who is desiring to create change not only for yourself but for others then what are you waiting for.  The time is today to make the change for you.

When do you want to start living the life you really want to live?

“To change one’s life:  Start immediately.  Do it flamboyantly.  No exceptions.”  William James

your story … what do you want it to be?

“Everything you now do is something you have chosen to do. Some people don’t want to believe that. But if you’re over age twenty-one, your life is what you’re making of it. To change your life, you need to change your priorities. “
John C. Maxwell

Maybe you have met this person.   This person is the person who is constantly reminding you of how bad things are and how broken the world is and it is only getting worse.   There are wars, this is crime, there is unemployment, there are only bad people, the taxes are too high, the only jobs are minimum wage jobs, you can’t have fun anymore, there are too many rules, the cat got run over yesterday and on and on it goes.   In a few minutes all the energy you had is sucked right out of you and the world does look a whole lot worse.

The “victim” sees the world and the people in it as some great failure rather than a great success.   A victim wants their words to create your world.    Some people by into their story and start adding more to that victim story.   When was the last time you said, “enough already”, your story is never going to make things better, your story is only about inaction rather than action.   Taking action is the only way to change the story.

Taking action is the only way the dirty streets can become clean again.  Taking action is the only way to make the stalled economy take off again.  If the world is broken the only way it can be fixed is if people take action.

Taking positive action

To shift from victim thinking to “owner” thinking is to start with a series of questions.   Explore each question and write out the answer in as much detail as you can.

What do I really want?

Define and create a crystal clear picture of where you want to be in a few years (5 years works as a good horizon goal).  Describe in detail what you want for yourself.   What will it look like when you get there?

What do you want your life experience to be?   Define it!

What do you want to experience when you reach the goal?  This is a description of what you will feel like when you reach the goal.  It might be daily excitement, satisfaction, joy, comfort with a definite pull towards something bigger, an internal smile that spills out on your face.
What am I missing or avoiding in my life?

Understand what is missing today and put that  into your definition as part of your future goals.  Make sure you aren’t avoiding or holding back from something.    It might be that you are avoiding change because where you are right now in your head is a safe place to be.    The reality is your reality is in your head and nowhere else.  Change is what will set you free so understand what you are avoiding if you aren’t making the changes that will make your life better.

What questions should I ask myself?

I normally ask people questions, that is what I do.    Eventually my clients start asking those questions before I do.   What questions are going to move you forward?   There is a question right on the tip of your tongue right now and you want to ask it, so ask it.
What can I do?

At this point  you recognize there is a reason to make a change.  It might be a whole host of things that aren’t working for you right now and you’d like one more chance to change it and today is that day.    The first thing you is make a commitment to you for change.   Want a better job  then change.  What a better relationship then change.  What more money, then change.   Want more happiness then change.   It is your choice to make the changes you that lead in the direction you want to go.  No  one is forcing you to feel the way you do.
Where are my thoughts right now?

You got to this question and you’re wondering if you can really do more and have more.   You’re doubting yourself and thinking, it can’t be for me.   Life isn’t like winning the lottery.  Life isn’t a matter of chance it is a matter of choice.   What choice do you want to make for you?   Write it down.

What action steps can I take ?  

Write down what you want to do.  Write down in great detail where you want to be in 3-5 years.   Then think about what it would take to get there.   If you are like most people you’ll write it down and think about it for a couple of days and drift right back into the place you don’t want to be.   It takes a certain fortitude to make change happen.   It takes discipline.   We unfortunately live in a society where everything comes to us in a box in a couple minutes or less.   We live in a nation of convenience and instant gratification.   If we want entertainment we flip on the TV and select from over 100 possible choices.   If we want some food in a few minutes there is a fast food joint just around the corner.   We don’t even have to get up out of our seat for most things anymore.   A remote will handle the TV and a driver will bring the food right to the front door.

Change takes time and it takes work.   It takes  a willingness to believe that something is greater for us out there if we want it.   Do you “want it”?  If you don’t someone else does.

Now, what are you going to do?

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”  Carl Rogers

no strings attached …

“I’ve got no strings
To hold me down
To make me fret, or make me frown”  from the movie Pinocchio

What would it be like to not have so many strings  holding you down?

“I need help making a decision”

“I need a new job”

“I am in debt and don’t know what to do”

“I am divorced and a couple of kids, and a job that I don’t like, what do I do?”

“I am in a business that isn’t making any money, what do I do next?”

“I have ADHD can can’t concentrate or focus, who will hire me?”

“I want to work for myself.  I don’t like being tied to a desk all day long.   What do I do next?”

“I hate my job but I love the people I work with and I can’t just quit”.   Imagine working at a job you hate to do where you’re not appreciated by the people who hired you.   The work gets more tedious each day you walk into the office and you have to have a job because there are bills to pay.   Not only are there strings from the job that hold you captive there are other strings and bills that have to be paid, mortgage, insurance, car payments, phone, internet, TV,  and many other things that make life easier (with strings attached) to pay for.

Are you feeling bound by the strings of life?   What would it feel like to start untangling that web of string that is robbing you of the joy you want to experience?

Letting go of the strings.

1. Take responsibility for your life, all of your life.

2. Create a vision, for your future.

3. In 5 years where do you want to be?

4. In 3 years where do you want to be?

5. In 1 year where do you want to be?

6. In 6 months where do you want to be?

Start today.  Take each string and untangle it and then create a plan to remove it until there are no strings attached.

If you should wonder why, then give this movie a try.

Find a way to detach those strings that are holding you back from living the life you desire.

“It may be that we are puppets-puppets controlled by the strings of society. But at least we are puppets with perception, with awareness. And perhaps our awareness is the first step to our liberation.”  Stanley Milgram

treadmill of life

“Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires some of the same courage that a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it takes brave men and women to win them. “
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Are you running on the right track?   It seems that there are many people who are guessing which direction to go in life.   Some are just getting out of college and are now asking the questions, “where do I go from here?”   Others not quite out of college are asking, “where do I go from here?”

There are adults in their 30′s, 40′s, 50′s and beyond that are asking those same questions, “Am I on the right path?”   People are asking if they are going in the right direction in large numbers.   There is a general sense of dissatisfaction with life as it is.

There are people who have worked in a job for over 20 years and are now thinking this isn’t worth the price I pay to do this.   The stress is overwhelming, the pace is dragging people down and there are manager’s who are still living in yesterday’s paradigm and haven’t made the leap to leadership.

Disengaged, disenfranchised, lost, confused and wandering seems to be the story so many people are writing these days.   As the commercial says, “Want to get away?”, and there are many people who just want to get away.

What can you do if you are on a path that isn’t bringing you any joy or happiness?

Here are two ways to look at the problem.

1. Decide what you really want to do and do it.
2. Make the best of what you have now, make a choice to be happy.

Let’s talk about happiness for just a few minutes.

About 60% of our happiness comes from our genetic makeup and  our circumstances.  The remaining 40% comes from our choices.    That is if we can take the reins of our own thoughts we have the ability to create our happiness.  The belief that someone else can make you happy is an erroneous one, it is your choice to be happy or not.

Happy people choose to be grateful for what they have even in difficult circumstances.  People who are happiest tend to exercise, diet and get the right amount of sleep.

When I work with people with ADHD/ADD one of the things that comes up is their dissatisfaction with their current situation.  It is too stressful, too overwhelming,  and there are too many interruptions.    Inattention to what needs to be done is a stress point for people with ADHD and that alone lowers their happiness.   While most people can focus on a single thought, people with ADHD have a tendency to lose focus quickly and jump from thought to thought especially if there is any gap in what they are doing (listening to people speak is one of them,  slow speakers allow the thought of an ADHD person to wander away).    In other words the ADHD symptoms impact happiness and it takes more effort for those with ADHD see the greater happiness in their lives.

The point is if you aren’t happy with where you are in life you do have a choice.   You can make the choice to be happy in the current circumstances or you can change the circumstances.

What treadmill are you on?   Will you make a choice to be happy or do you want to make a change and find happiness?

Where do you want to run to?   What are you hoping to find?

 

6 stages of change

“Surely there is something in the unruffled calm of nature that overawes our little anxieties and doubts; the sight of the deep-blue sky and the clustering stars above seems to impart a quiet to the mind.” Jonathan Edwards

For many people the thought of change is something that pulls them back into the closet of darkness.  Not so much the thought of making a change but making change happen.   Change invokes fear, a kind of fear that increases stress to the point of creating anger, grief, sadness or even withdrawal.   Think about it, when was the last time you were asked to change how did it feel?

So, where does change start?  For some people change starts with someone else making a change.   That’s right someone else needs to change more than you need to change.   It sounds like “If that other person would change I would feel a lot better”, or “If they asked me first about the change I would tell them what should have been done”.     People in this early change phase are really acting like victims, unable to control themselves they desire to control others and blame others when things go wrong.   You might know some people who are constantly blaming others and circumstances for their feelings.     This phase of change is called precontemplation, a place of denial.   Why me?   “Look over there, look at that.”   Someone in precontemplation wants anything but to talk about change, especially personal change.

“I don’t know how”, or “Something is stopping me”, these people are in the stage known as contemplation and while they can acknowledge that they should change they are only thinking about change.    There is a restless energy about making a change, a feeling of unease and dissatisfaction, but not enough energy to actually start the change process.    It is almost like having packed for a trip with a planned destination but no ticket to get there.    Here they are standing at the curb, bags packed, ready and waiting to go.    Someday they will actually make the trip, it is anybody’s guess when that will happen.   Have you experienced this phase in your life?   Maybe you are there right now.

When people are ready to make a change they are putting more focus on the solution to their problem than the problem itself.   There is a marked energy increase but not enough to actually implement change.   These people are fence sitters, they are ready to jump but not quite.   This is a place where the thought of “what will happen to me” frequently enter the thought stream.   “What if it doesn’t work then what?”     People in the preparation phase may make small steps but not enough to make a real change.

Eventually the desire is greater than the pain of staying in place.   The action phase is where people make a commitment to changing their behavior.    So, in a burst of activity the individual starts taking steps and making progress towards change.    Great progress is being made and then, and then it stops.   The change has been going well but suddenly the lack of outside encouragement to push through the change is missing or disappears.   The action phase can cause burnout if there isn’t someone who can act as a cheerleader in the change process.    For those who maintain the energy to move forward change will happen.

For those who make the behavioral change and have passed that initial burst of energy required to make the change the next phase is the maintenance phase.  As important as the change is maintaining the new habit is important or it is possible that the change will reverse and the old habit will come back. You’ve probably seen this happen many times yourself.   People will go on a diet and lose a lot of weight and then before long that weight comes back.  Without a strong maintenance phase reversal is possible.

With effort and positive reinforcement people transition into the final phase or termination.  When people reach this phase the behavioral change is permanent and is the habit.

Organizations that are trying to create change need to be aware that people transition through the  phases at different rates.   It is easy for leaders who have contemplated and pushed for change to grow weary of the change effort and forget about reinforcing the change and helping people move through action to maintenance.    Organizations that fail to provide strong reinforcement programs that are positive and reassuring will end up falling back into the previous behaviors.

Too often organizations fail to realize how large some changes are and the impact change can have on its employees.   Businesses may assume that everyone is going to grab hold of the change initiative and move right into action.    Leaders or managers will be asked to ensure that the change happens quickly and if it doesn’t blame the individual contributors for not taking the change seriously.

People who are dealing with significant changes in their lives may have external events put before them that push them into the precontemplation stage.     Changes in career, life circumstances, major moves, death, illness or other high stress events push many people into the precontemplation phase.  Moving out of precontemplation requires shifting the energy towards the positive, lots of encouragement and plenty of success stories need to be used as an intrinsic motivator.

Each phase of change requires different incentives and rewards so that falling back into previous patterns can be avoided.  Again, organizations need to properly manage change as people will not all be in the same phase.  Mixing the incentives and messages to align with each stage a person is going through should be considered.

Where are you stuck?   What changes are you avoiding?   What is it costing you not to change?   What are the benefits of not changing?

The change process

1. Precontemplation

2. Contemplation

3. Preparation

4. Action

5. Maintenance

6. Termination

If change seems daunting to you, find someone who can work with you through the change.   Friends aren’t always the best people to support your change effort because of their emotional connection to you.   Try finding someone who isn’t going to judge you during the change and someone who can support you through the change.

What are you thinking about changing?   Write them down and identify each stage of change you are in.

 

For more information, read “Changing for Good”  Prochask, Norcross & Diclemente (1994)

Love is the biggest eraser there is. Love erases even the deepest imprinting because love goes deeper than anything. If your childhood imprinting was very strong, and you keep saying: “It’s their fault. I can’t change,” you stay stuck. Louise Hay

change or perish

“With the mind-blowing velocity of change and the throng of competition, the skills needed for 21st century success are less about academic or industrial or technical training, and more about what might be called the “soft skills”: emotional intelligence, adaptability and resiliency; networking, interpersonal and relationship-development skills; self-motivation, accountability and productivity skills; personal branding, social marketing and persuasive communication skills; along with leadership, recruiting and people-building skills.” Darren Hardy, Success Magazine

Change and it is happening faster.  Information doubling increasing and on its way to doubling itself in a matter of a few months.   Information that changes so fast that college degrees will be obsolete before students exit the university.   A powerful wave of hypercompetition is starting to engulf  the world.   Ideas that can travel at the speed of light, decisions that can be made in a flash (for companies that stay light and agile) will dominate the landscape.

The shift to soft skills and right brand thinking (ideation) will be the new lingua franca of the emerging economy.   New rules will be written for organizations.   Large organizations that take months to shift focus will lose out to companies that can swarm to the solution.   Complex solutions will give way to the simplest solutions possible.   The weight and cost of complex solutions will no longer be acceptable.   Fast moving organizations that provide the right solution at the right time (no bells, no whistles) will win.

How well are you using social media today?

What do you need to know to succeed tomorrow?

What is your leadership quotient?

How would you describe your social skills?

What will it take to raise your productivity?

What are you an expert at?

When will you be ready for the sweeping changes that are happening right now?

Don’t be caught chasing the change, be in front of it and embrace it.  Learn the skills you need to walk and talk in this new era.   The world is changing at the speed of light.   Every person will soon be able to be a change agent.  Great ideas can move into the global marketplace with ease.   iPhone applications, phones that act as computers, communication anywhere in the world at anytime.   Job bidding where everyone is their own business person.  If you have the ability to work quickly and effectively you win the bid.   Are you ready?

 “If we’re growing, we’re always going to be out of our comfort zone.”  John Maxwell

make your life count …

“In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”  Theodore Roosevelt

There are many, many people who are just sitting on the sidelines of the game of life.  They sit there worried about the future and what it will bring and going back to yesteryear, back to the times when it was better.  Was it really better?

There is an “entitlement” mentality that is invading the minds of far too many people.   That is the belief that they should receive something without having to pay a price.   Take for instance personal development, that is education outside of formal institutions or beyond what was taught in high school or college.    There are people who believe that once you have gotten a degree that your need for further education is done.

With the advances in technology (technology is driving a lot of change in the world that is impacting everyone) no career is without need to advance personal and professional skills.   Some people believe that if training is needed the company they are working for should provide it.   That notion is no longer true.  To stay ahead of the technology and change curve everyone should invest in themselves and add to their value.

With the speed of change there are other issues that people have to work on and that is themselves.   There are all kinds of things that are changing, things that are outside of individual control and that often increases stress in a person’s life.   Stress is an epidemic.  You see it in eating habits, you see it in relationships, you see it at work, you see it just about everywhere and it is very destructive.

The number one cause of death in America is unhealthy eating habits.   Unhealthy eating is the reason that so many Americans are overweight (not just a few pounds overweight but way overweight).  Being overweight creates a huge health risk.   There are those who would rather face surgery, take drugs (the pharmaceutical industry loves people who buy weight control drugs) or doing anything but eat less and more healthily.   The food industry has found ways to make food very cheap and at the same time very expensive.   Trading cheap calories today for doctor bills tomorrow is the path many people are on.

What should be done?    Stress can be reduced by:

1. Eating healthier and less

2. Exercising more (even for short periods of time, activity matters)

3. Get the proper amount of sleep

4. Start preparing for your future, study, develop yourself so that you are prepared for the coming changes.

5. Find ways to eliminate stress.

6. Do what matters most to you.   Find your strengths and start using more of them daily.

Don’t get caught in the waves of change.

hijacked

“Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may bet better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge now exists to make things better.”  King Whitney Jr.

 You started your day off well and things were just clicking  when suddenly something happened and you were emotionally hijacked.   What happened when you thoughts shifted from having a great day to being plundered by a series of negative thoughts.   With the pressures of daily life increasing stress is taking an increasing toll on people.

With an estimated 30% of Americans feeling extreme stress in their life and feeling like there is little they can do about it, it is no wonder that it is easy to be emotionally hijacked.  There just isn’t enough time to decompress and relax.

People are worried about their finances, their jobs and the economy.  Concerns about the future and aging are starting to ripple through the Baby-Boomer generation.  

Stress is showing up in poor eating habits, less exercise and less sleep.  Those three items are foundational for dealing with the higher levels of stress and at the same time as stress increases the more people are likely to eat poorly, sleep less and exercise less.

While creating healthy habits is a good idea and most people would agree that more exercise, better eating habits and a good nights sleep are important they don’t do the things they should be doing to live a better life.  

We live in a society where stress is only going to increase and for many people that means increasing the bad habits even when they know that those habits aren’t good for them.   What do you do?

It takes structure and focus to create or recreate the habits that are necessary for maintaining the core foundations for healthy living.  Being accountable to some person who is going to support your efforts to get life back under control is one way to start reducing stress.   Coaching is one of the better tools to use to start creating healthy habits.  

If you find yourself being emotionally hijacked during the day, look at your stress levels.  Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 (1 = low stress, 10 = extreme stress) and if you score yourself higher than a 7 you might want to consider getting your stress under control.    Start today!

“If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.”
Doug Larson

What would help you most?

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Get your life under control with Life Coaching

COLORADO SPRINGS, CO, May 07, 2011 — Life and Business coach Dan Weigold will be appearing on the nationally broadcast show “The Balancing Act” May 11,2011 on Lifetime Television to talk about how coaching can be used to accelerate success, regain balance and produce greater happiness for working women.

Life and Business coaching has gained national recognition as a tool to help people manage the increased stress are experiencing in their lives, to help them discover what they truly want out their careers and lives.   Executive Coaching has been a mainstay for top level managers for years and now access to this high quality tool is available to anyone seeking positive change in their lives.  

Dan Weigold is a Personal Development and Empowerment coach at Coach with Heart works with people who desire to make significant change in their business or life.   Dan works with individuals or organizations that want to be able to integrate and process the amount of change that is occurring now so that they can be prepared for the future.

 To make an appointment or to find out more about coaching contact send email to coachwithheart@gmail.com or visit danweigold.com.  Those without internet access can call 719.660.1103

Dan Weigold, Coach with HEART has been serving clients since 2008 and is a member of the Denver Coaching Federation and the International Coaching Federation. 

The show airs 5:00am MDT, 6:00am EDT, PDT on Lifetime Television.

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