“If others tell us something we make assumptions, and if they don’t tell us something we make assumptions to fulfill our need to know and to replace the need to communicate. Even if we hear something and we don’t understand we make assumptions about what it means and then believe the assumptions. We make all sorts of assumptions because we don’t have the courage to ask questions.”
― Miguel Ruiz
Are you living the life you want to live? Would you like to live a better life?
If you’re not living the life you want then what would it take to live the life you want? What steps would you take to start living that better life?
The questions are simple. The answers are hard. It isn’t that the answers are necessarily difficult but it is hard to sit down and really figure out what you really want. Often what people say they want isn’t what they really want, it just looks that way. We can see that in the way people behave.
If you could find peace, would you find it in have more things? Many people think having more things is what leads to greater peace and it doesn’t. Being rich doesn’t make people happier, it just changes their problems. For people with a lot of money it may be that they fear losing it all and being poor. What do you think?
Back to living a happier life. Don Miguel Ruiz has a simple formula for building a happier life. It is four agreements, four essential components to living a better life.
1. Be impeccable with your word. Living with and in truth in all that you do and say. That means being truthful with others and yourself. Imagine your internal self-talk being truthful about who you are.
2. Don’t take anything personally. Live in your story not someone else’s story. Reacting to others, what they say or do and allowing that to provoke anger within robs you of happiness. The opinion others have of you is only a reflection of the world they live in, you are either challenging or confirming their perception.
3. Don’t make assumptions. We can easily make things up. If we don’t know what is true we make up stories that match our version of reality. Our brains want to fill in the gaps and because we have the ability to imagine, we imagine what could be true and fill in the blanks with our interpretation. The way to truth is through asking questions.
4. Always do your best. Challenge yourself to do your best. Sometimes easy isn’t always the best, it is easy to do less than the best. Focus on your best, define your best and do your best.
What would change for you if you were able to follow those four things? Just notice throughout the day how you live out those four statements.
1. Is your word impeccable?
2. Are you taking things personally?
3. Are you making assumptions about others, yourself or events in your life?
4. Are you always doing your best?
Just notice, just look at yourself and reflect. What can you do different to improve in any of those four areas. It’s time to take charge of your life. Living a happier life starts with you.