trust

“We’re never so vulnerable than when we trust someone – but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.”
Frank Crane

Trust sits at the foundation of relationships.   Relationships are the core of all that we do in life.   All of life is based on relationships and at the base of those relationships is trust.   Without trust there isn’t really a relationship.

Without trust a relationship is just a group of people interacting.   With trust a relationship is about a team and teamwork and receiving the best of what the team has to offer.

Without trust people hold back, they don’t put in their full selves into their work, their relationships, their marriage, their friends or anything for that matter.   It is a well known fact that people don’t put their full effort into the work they do, they hold back for many reasons and one of the big reasons is trust.    Why say what you really believe if that belief is going to be ridiculed or worse.   Why become vulnerable if you know that the other person, the other side has no interest in what you have to say.

It takes strength of character to trust and to trust authentically.   Being vulnerable and sharing something that exposes a weakness can be used as a weapon if there isn’t trust, trust that information shared is not used in a negative way.   In other words when people judge others trust is eroded.   People want to feel safe in a relationship and if they share their deepest fears or secrets they want those fears to be kept private and not to be judged by their fears.

If organizations cultivated trust and allowed people to express themselves freely those organizations could experience greater participation, greater productivity, and better results.    Cultures that use retribution or intimidation to manage people would have to radically change.   Leaders would have to start leading and express their fears and vulnerabilities before trust could trickle down through all levels of the organization.   High performing cultures have recognized that trust is an essential ingredient for success.

What is the level of trust in the organization you work for?

What is the level of trust in your closest relationship?

What would need to change?

Intention

Before you agree to do anything that might add even the smallest amount of stress to your life, ask yourself: What is my truest intention? Give yourself time to let a yes resound within you. When it’s right, I guarantee that your entire body will feel it.   Oprah Winfrey, O Magazine

It is what gets you from point A to point B, intention.   It is a motivating and driving force that enables you to do and to be.   Everything that you do starts with with an idea.  The idea grows in size and power until there is action.   The natural growth of that idea into an energetic force is intention.

Intention to do.   Intention to be.   Intention is like a compass pointing you in a direction.    Attention that follows intention is what starts you on that journey to reach that goal.   The intention precedes attention to the goal.

Often what is needed to transform and idea or thought into intention is a catalyst.    Words can acts as catalysts,  words like “creativity”, “kindness”, “love”, “beauty”, “abundant”,  and “receptive”.

Take each word and expand the meaning of the word in terms of being a catalyst for doing and being.

Creativity

What can you create?    What idea can you take and add to it.    How is creativity like a flower?

 

 

Kindness

What does kindness look like to you?   What acts of kindness can you do today?  What does intentional kindness look like?    What does kindness feel like?

 

Love

What is the intention of love?   What does it take to be intentional about love?  What can you do to be intentional about love today?

 

 

Beauty

Observe.   Take some time out to discover beauty around you.   Just look and notice.   The act of being intentional about noticing beauty may be eye-opening.  What are you noticing?

Abundant

What does abundant mean to you?    Does it mean available?   Does it mean large in quantity?   Does it mean high in quality?   What is abundance?   Lack of want?  What do you have abundance of?    What are you desiring to be more abundant in your life?

Receptive

Open to something new.    How are you being receptive to your thoughts?   How are you looking at your thoughts in terms of creating more abundance, more love, more beauty, more kindness and more creativity?   Intention starts with your ability to receive into your life the very things that surround you today.   Use what you have to get what you want.   Use your creativity, use your kindness, use your love, use the beauty, use your abundant ideas to live with greater intention.

Listen to what Deepak Chopra has to say about intention.   What are you doing to be more intentional about your life?

the stormy present

“The dogmas of the quiet past, are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise — with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew, and act anew. “
–December 1, 1862  Abraham Lincoln

Make today the day you start doing something new for yourself.  In 1862 President Lincoln called out to say, “we face a new day,  a new era, new changes and we can no longer think and act like we did in the past.”   We are at that new day, that new era, that new place and we can no longer depend on what worked in the past to work for us in the future.

The economy is floundering and bouncing around without a clear direction.  It is waiting for something but what?  It is waiting for “you” to take action.

If you’re thinking, “How can I change the economy?”   It starts when you fully engage in everyday life.   It starts when you go to work and you put in 100% of you into the work.  It starts when you put 100% of you into life.  It starts when you believe that you can make a difference.

One of the problems we face today is the fact that everyone is waiting for someone else to make a difference.     Take a look at a company like Zappos where their values reflect leadership, authenticity, and creativity.  They have abolished a model of leadership that should have passed away at the end of the industrial age.   It is a place where ideas flourish and egos (those who use positional power as a leadership model) have faded out of the picture.   Zappos has instituted a new model of leadership that engages people in the work they do. The point is that when a company (which is just a large community of people with a common purpose, focus and goal) takes action things happen for the good.  If you took action and had a purpose, focus and a goal imagine what would happen in your life.

If you are waiting for something to happen for you then you’re not taking charge of your life.   If you are someone who is desiring to create change not only for yourself but for others then what are you waiting for.  The time is today to make the change for you.

When do you want to start living the life you really want to live?

“To change one’s life:  Start immediately.  Do it flamboyantly.  No exceptions.”  William James

it’s your questions

“In fact, the most effective approach is simply to ask questions. We can ignore directives, but questions force us to attend to them. In the corporate world, most of us are so used to being told what to do that when someone asks us what we think we should do, it stops our automatic processing in its tracks.

Rather than telling people, we should ask them, whether it’s deciding how to implement a strategy, setting objectives, or evaluating performance. The effect of a question may not be as stunning as glasses made out of burning cigarettes, but it will activate the brain and get it working the way we need it to.”    Psychology Today

Those two paragraphs that were printed in Psychology Today represent the new model of leadership.   In the past leadership was in many cases more of a request than a question.

Everyone today should be thinking about themselves as a leader and a person who asks questions.   Questions allow the receiver of the question to create (notice “create”) an answer in response.    The old way was “request” and “react” and the new way is “question” and “respond”.   Think about it, what makes you feel more empowered?   Is it a request or is it a question that you get to answer.

Think about questions in the workplace.  When do you feel empowered?   Do you feel empowered when you are “told” to do something or do you feel empowered when you are asked, “How could you solve this problem?”.  For most people it is the second approach, it is their idea, it is their solution and that is empowering.

Look at any organization that is not functioning at their full potential.  What do you hear?   Do you hear questions or requests?    More than likely you are hearing requests more than you are hearing questions.

New managers want to manage.   They are being asked “lead”  your team to success and immediately they are requesting rather than asking empowering questions.

Now, take this to your world, your sphere of influence, what does that look like to you.   Is it a world of questions or requests.   If it is requests see what you can do to change it to questions and see what happens.

“Questions focus our thinking. Ask empowering questions like: What’s good about this? What’s not perfect about it yet? What am I going to do next time? How can I do this and have fun doing it?”   Charles Connolly

10 ways to improve employee engagement

“We cannot be satisfied with things as they are. We cannot be satisfied to drift, to rest on our oars, to glide over a sea whose depths are shaken by subterranean upheavals.”  John F. Kennedy

 

Reports of employee engagement at levels of just 31% suggest a serious malady in America’s workforce.    While there are many reasons  why people will “check-out” during the work day and surf the internet, do personal work or waste time getting them re-engaged in work is a substantial challenge.

 

How engaged are you in work or school or whatever you are doing?  On a  scale of 1-10, where 1 = little or no engagement to 10 fully and passionately engaged, where are you?   How engaged in life are you?   Tell me, write it down … tell someone else … how engaged are you in living your life?

 

Here are ten ways to become more engaged.  These ideas come from Steve Chandler’s book “100 Ways to Motivate others”

 

1. Be the cause, not the effect.

Be the author of your life today.    The other way is to be the victim of what happens in the day.   One way to stay out of the negativity of the mainstream press is to turn off the news.    Yes, just turn it off, you can live without it.  Start creating and living instead of worrying about the next disaster.

 

2. Focus on results.

How often to people focus on what didn’t get done and then start making excuses as to “why it didn’t happen on time”.   How does that help anything?   What was accomplished?  What was learned in the process?   What if you could do it over again, what would you do different?   The point is learn along the way and focus on what was done rather than what was left undone.

 

3. Use positive reinforcement

That would make sense wouldn’t it.  Aren’t you move motivated when you hear positive things, when you are given encouragement, when you are noticed, when you are heard and when you do the right thing?  

 

4. Use 10 minutes to the max

Do that 10 minute thing you have been putting off, do it now, focus and do it with intensity.   Now that one thing is off of your plate or someone else’s plate.  How does that feel?

 

5. Be enthusiastic

Haven’t you been around someone who is full of positive energy, what was that like?   That energy seems to rub off and before you know it you’re energy filled.  So, today march into work or any place that you will be working with others and add energy to it – others will become infected with your positive energy.

 

6. Smile

You notice the person who is smiling don’t you.   It makes you smile.  Think about it what happens when you see a big smiling face, doesn’t that cause you to smile.   Or try not to smile, what happens, that big grin just shows up. 

 

7. Give up being right

What happens when you know that one person insists on being right “all of the time” no matter what and no matter when?  How do you feel when you are around that person?   What if you are that person?   What would happen if you could believe there is another perspective besides yours?  Try it!

 

8. Show them the way

A leader shows the way and not just once but as many times as it takes for people to “get it”.   It may take multiple ways, different angles, different approaches and with a different twist.   Not everyone can listen to a story and get it.  Not everyone learns the same way so send the message out in ways that engage all the different learning styles.    You’ll know it when they are telling the story and getting it right.

 

 9.  Lighten up

We live in a more competitive world, there is more pressure to get things done, to make a profit and to be constantly in motion.   This creates stress and stress decreases engagement, so lighten up.   Encourage people to stop and take a break, allow them to decompress, to share their real thoughts without judging them.   Let them be authentic and that will go a long ways from preventing burn-out and burn-up.  

 

10.  Stay focused.

It is easy to get caught up in the distractions of work or life.   Things are moving faster and they are more complex so it is easy to get distracted especially when there are gadgets calling for our attention – a new email, a new story, a new text message, an urgent call (or so it seems).   Make sure each day is filled with intense focus so that you can get the results you need.

 

 

 

“Nothing in the world can take the place of perseverance.

Talent will not;
Nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.

Genius will not;
Unrewarded genius is almost legendary;

Education will not;
The world is full of educated derelicts.

Perseverance and Determination alone are omnipotent.”

-US President Calvin Coolidge

 

 

at the crack of dawn

“Welcome every morning with a smile. Look on the new day as another special gift from your Creator, another golden opportunity to complete what you were unable to finish yesterday. Be a self-starter. Let your first hour set the theme of success and positive action that is certain to echo through your entire day. Today will never happen again. Don’t waste it with a false start or no start at all. You were not born to fail.”    Og Mandino

Sometimes the early morning comes to early for some.   Early on May 11th a program aired that gave the viewers some insight into the power of coaching and how coaching can transform the way people interact with the world.  

Coaching is transforming businesses so they are more efficient and effective.    With coaching employees are more engaged and more productive.

Individuals that receive coaching start to make great progress towards the achievement of their goals.   Coaching provides the accountability people need especially in the world we live in today where change is happening at breakneck speed and getting faster.     Coaching clients can learn how to manage stress, reduce anger and understand what triggers their emotions and coaching can help people live a more positive and inspired life.

People with ADD/ADHD can learn coping skills that will allow them to perform at much higher levels.   Overall coaching is a process that can make a great impact in all areas of life.

Find out what coaching can do for you.

What would help you most?

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Get your life under control with Life Coaching

COLORADO SPRINGS, CO, May 07, 2011 — Life and Business coach Dan Weigold will be appearing on the nationally broadcast show “The Balancing Act” May 11,2011 on Lifetime Television to talk about how coaching can be used to accelerate success, regain balance and produce greater happiness for working women.

Life and Business coaching has gained national recognition as a tool to help people manage the increased stress are experiencing in their lives, to help them discover what they truly want out their careers and lives.   Executive Coaching has been a mainstay for top level managers for years and now access to this high quality tool is available to anyone seeking positive change in their lives.  

Dan Weigold is a Personal Development and Empowerment coach at Coach with Heart works with people who desire to make significant change in their business or life.   Dan works with individuals or organizations that want to be able to integrate and process the amount of change that is occurring now so that they can be prepared for the future.

 To make an appointment or to find out more about coaching contact send email to coachwithheart@gmail.com or visit danweigold.com.  Those without internet access can call 719.660.1103

Dan Weigold, Coach with HEART has been serving clients since 2008 and is a member of the Denver Coaching Federation and the International Coaching Federation. 

The show airs 5:00am MDT, 6:00am EDT, PDT on Lifetime Television.

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start hitting home runs

“The secret to success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes.” Benjamin Disraeli

“Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.” Babe Ruth

Think about Babe Ruth’s quote for a minute, “Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.”,   what does that say about your life.   Each day you have a chance to hit a home run and yet for many people it is another strike, another strike and another strike.   It might not seem as if there will be any days that a home run could be hit.   What if that could change?   What if you could hit more home runs than strikes?

What is a home run for you?  

Would it be,

- A better job

- Better relationships

- Financial security

- Personal Development

-  increased spirituality

- Better relationship with friends and family

Whatever it is that defines a home run for you can be improved so that the swings produce more home runs than strikes.   How?

1. Learn what it takes to create a home run for you.  (What do you need to know or do)

2. Practice (become an expert at what it takes, develop the skills)

3.  Take action (do what you have learned and practiced)

4. Go to step one and repeat.

Now that sounds simple, too easy perhaps.   What happens is that people can read the steps and maybe jot down a few or even try it for a few days and then they give up.   Hitting a home run takes more than a few days of work, it may take a few weeks of work or a few months depending on what you are working on.   It is easy to give up.   If you aren’t taking swings there is no way you can hit a home run.   Sitting there and thinking about it doesn’t get you closer to the goal.  Taking action is required.

Having a coach might help as well.  A coach will work with you to achieve those goals and provide the encouragement and support so that you don’t just give up. 

When do you want to start hitting home runs?   Why not start today!   Why wait another minute longer to start hitting those home runs?

change positively change

“Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be — because you only have one life and one chance to do all the things that you want to do.”

Britta Fiksdal  

 

 

Do you follow the crowd or does the crowd follow you?    For many people staying in the crowd provides a great deal of safety.    There are many people who would like to change but the fear of taking action to create change is too scary.

 

Barry Posner and James Kouzes wrote,  “ Challenge is the opportunity for greatness. People do their best when there is an opportunity to change how things currently stand. Maintaining the status quo facilitates mediocrity. Those who embrace this practice do not wish to rest on their laurels. They motivate others to exceed their limits and look for innovative ways to improve the organization. “

 

 

In a crowd there is a sense of safety and that is one of the most significant contributors to change resistance.   What happens when you are not in the comfort of the crowd?     It takes a high degree of confidence to step out of the crowd and go off on your own.   Personal change requires personal courage.

 

What are you doing to cultivate personal change?

 James Kotter a change expert provides eight steps for organizational change, see if they work on an individual level as well.

1. Create a sense of urgency.   (Now is the time)

2. Form a powerful coalition.  (As an individual speak with others about your own personal desire for change, or work with a coach to increase the energy around making a change)

3. Create a vision (What is it that you really want?   Create a picture of what change you desire to make).

4. Communicate your vision (Share your vision with others, keep building up the story, believe in the vision).

5. Find out what is stopping you.   (If change were easy people wouldn’t be following the crowd.  Find out what is blocking you from stepping out and taking positive action).

6. Stair step the process.   (Start small, and win small wins.  Then with confidence of success with you start building up on the small wins and creating more significant goals.  Celebrate success)

7. Build on the momentum.   (Once good success deserves another)

8. Make it stick.  (Habits are hard to change … make it positive, make it fun and make it happen … if things slide back go back to the small wins and build up again.   Keep on the positive side).

“Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still.”
Chinese Proverb

the new leader

“If your actions inspire others to dream more,
learn more, do more and become more,
you are a leader.”    John Quincy Adams

What is a leader?   What is your definition of a leader?  

It seems that there is no one definition that defines what a leader really is that used by everyone.   There are thousands of definitions of a leader.   Some people say a leader is a person of “integrity”.   What does that really mean to you?

A leader has a number of characteristics that define a leader yet within the spectrum of leadership qualities is no one definition that accurately and consistently defines a leader.   Jim Collins the author of “Good to Great” has a definition of a leader and spells out those qualities in his book “Built to Last” lists a number of qualities that make a great leader.  

John Maxwell, America’s authority on leadership speaks of leadership as being “Influence”.   And is influence the hallmark of a great leader?

In this chart are a number of qualities that could be used to define a leader.   If you were to rate a leader on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 = Low need and 10 = high need, how would you rate a great leader?   How would you rate yourself?   What characteristics are critical for a leader to really have?

Most leaders would see themself as being strong in a few elements or even most of the elements.   Is there  a specific combination, or score that makes the leader great?

Even if someone were to score all 10′s on every attribute, that score is a reflection of the scorer’s values not necessarily the score of the leader being evaluated.   A leadership score is a relative score, but relative to what?   That is part of the problem.   Leadership is not defined by some standard that people are measured against, but rather the opinion of others.   It is the person’s own personal definitions of honesty, integrity, compassion or leadership that define a leader.

What makes a great leader in your mind?   How would you score the leader you most admire?  What score would they get?

Joanne Ciulla proposes this definition, “It is a complex moral relationship between people, based on trust, obligation, commitment, emotion, and a shared vision of the good.”