Category Archives: Learning

…”yes, but” …

“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked. “Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.” “How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice. “You must be,” said the Cat, or you wouldn’t have come here.” — Lewis Carroll

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What do employees want?   What do you want? Are you working in an organization that is helping you grow to be the best employee ever?  I thought so.   Perhaps you’re wondering why you come into work every day.  You have ideas and you want to see things improve and as soon as you present your idea, you hear , “yes, but …”.   The “but” erased every ounce of that idea and threw it away.   We would “but” we can’t because of X, Y or Z.  That one little but said, “your idea isn’t good enough.”

Employees want their place of work, their manager to exhibit four key characteristics.

1. They want to feel like they belong and they are cared for.

2. They want the ability to grow and advance.

3. They desire feedback and encouragement from their manager’s.

4. They want to know feel like they matter, that they are respected.

Now, most companies would say, yeah, that is what we do.   In reality it is what most companies say they would do.  The daily pressures of performance have driven caring into “we only care about results”.    Maybe you hear, “Our budgets have been cut so we can’t do that.”  What they are saying is that you don’t matter and we don’t want to hear what you have to say. What is it that you hear from those you work for, “yes, but” or “yes, and”?  

The “yes, and” manager is going to be the one who is looking for ways for you to succeed or to provide options for your growth.    

As you go through your workday listen to what is being said.  What do you hear?   What is the typical type of language that is being used?   Are you hearing more “buts” or more “ands”.  

Yell them out …

“If you’re trying to be miserable, it’s important you don’t have any goals. No school goals, personal goals, family goals. Your only objective each day should be to inhale and exhale for sixteen hours before you go to bed again. Don’t read anything informative, don’t listen to anything useful, don’t do anything productive. If you start achieving goals, you might start to feel a sense of excitement, then you might want to set another goal, and then your miserable mornings are through. To maintain your misery, the idea of crossing off your goals should never cross your mind.”
― John Bytheway

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A New Year is coming.   It is goal setting time.   Not like last years goals which you kept quietly to yourself, but goals that you will share with others.   I want you to write down your biggest goal for 2013 and share it right here.   If you want to reach that goal someone has to know about it.   Make it big, make it bold and share it.

Keeping it a secret will be that the goal is likely to live to the end of January and you’ll save it for next year.

Thinking about losing weight … how much weight?  Not the initial number of pounds but the real number of pounds you want to lose.    Then write down “why” you want to lose that weight (you can keep that a secret if you want to).

Thinking about doing something courageous then shout it out, write it down and put a comment into the blog.   Share it!   Make it happen.   You’re doing it for you.  You’re doing it because you’ve waited long enough.   Be bold, be brave and share it.

Have you ever thought of running a marathon?   Maybe you’ve had this goal for years and you think about it and then don’t do it.   Make this the year you do it.

Some people don’t have goals because they feel that they will fail and they don’t want to share with someone something they might not do and it there would be a feeling of shame if they shared the goal.   Make this the year you decide to make the change.

Maybe it’s time to change something about work.   You’re really not happy where you are but you need the job.   Set a goal and find work you can love.  Make it happen.

Perhaps you want to take a class and you’re afraid that you might not fit in.    Then take an on-line class at Coursera (high level schools with high level classes).

Whatever it is, life and happiness surface when you have real goals and a desire to make those goals come true.   Isn’t it time?   Isn’t it time that you make this year the year you make some real changes.   Tell us!   Shout it out!

Do it now!

What’s my goal?   It is to write a book on managing ADHD and have it completed before Dec 2013.

What’s your goal?

live a longer life …

“The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.”
C. JoyBell C.

What if you could live longer?   Would that be something you would be interested in?   Some people would be.  Some people would love to live a few years longer.

Jane McGonigal, a game developer would argue that playing games can add time to your life.   She uses the premise that people who are at the end of their life often have some regrets.   The Guardian reports that people do have end of life regrets.  They regret working so hard. They regret not spending time with friends and family.   They regret not the person they weren’t meant to be.   They regret not being happier.

If you could do your life over again what would you do different?   Well today is that day you can start living the life you want to do.     Yeah, yeah, yeah, there are reasons you can’t do what you really were meant to do.   There are reasons you can’t live a happier life (you like being miserable).   There are reasons you can be the person who you really are (you’ve developed a persona that every one knows and you don’t want them to know the real you).    There are “buts”, lots of buts why you can’t do what you really want to do.

Think about it.   How many times during the day do you use the word “but”?    Just try observing the number of times you use the word “but”.     I could …. “but”.    How many times do you use the word but?     But’s become a convenient way for not something that would move you forward in life.     But …

If you can live without “buts” then you can live a longer life.

Now, what can you do to add more to your life?   Take a look at Jane McGonigal’s TED talk,  and add minutes to your life today.  TODAY!

Be creative …

“It’s not about breaking the rules. It is about abandoning the concept of rules altogether” - Paul Lemberg

What does it take to be creative?   Normally it takes  a big leap from where you are right now so that you would create a sense of personal risk.   It is a step into the unknown, it is a new experience, and it would be foreign to your way of thinking.   Certainly there is incremental creativity which is based on taking what you know now and extending it in a new direction.   What I am thinking about takes a bigger leap, it means leaving behind the set of assumptions you use to bound your creativity.

How do you get outside of your own way of thinking?   What causes you to stretch?

Some people use tools like mind mapping to extend their scope of thinking.    A new resource called Murally looks interesting and may open doors to collaborate in new ways.

Stanford is offering a class in creativity and there is approximately 35000 students participating.   How do you manage a class of 35000?    How do you review the work of 35000 people who are turning in work?   No matter what the assignment is the idea of reviewing that volume of work is prohibitive.  35000 students is probably more students than most professors teach in a lifetime of teaching.

When you are pressed with a challenge you’ve never experienced before, what do you do?    Do you think in a new way or do you follow the patterns that you habitually use?
What about a different approach?

What if you were asked to meet people from some place in the world you’ve never been what would you do?   What would you have in common with others?  Well that was the first assignment in the class on creativity.   Here’s a sample.

 

 

lead from where you are ..

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” – John Quincy Adams

Some people want to lead because they believe they deserve to lead.   Others lead by showing other the way, by having a compelling vision and reason for others to follow.    Leadership is an attitude. Leadership is being confident without being arrogant.

You may have seen those leaders that are using brute force to lead.   The  followers make sure they are going in a different direction when they see the brute force leader.   Leadership by title or position isn’t leadership of itself it takes more and requires more.

People who want to grow into leadership positions must constantly be developing their attitudes, skills and evaluating their own growth.

1. Developing an attitude to lead is in part developing an attitude of humility so that you can serve others in their own development.   People readily engage with those who are willing to help improve their abilities and potential for the future.

2. Honing your personal leadership skills by continual learning and experience.  Moving up in an organization may be improved by showing that you can lead.  This might mean finding organizations or areas that you can demonstrate your leadership.  It might mean volunteering for leadership positions so that you can tune and grow your leadership skills.

3. Reflection and looking back at the lessons learned is something that allows the potential leader to see what can be improved.   The leadership experience is enhanced when the developing leader can recognize areas for improvement and then to take responsibility for making personal change.

How many times have you seen or read about a leader who did not take responsibility for their outcomes.     In recent weeks one recognized leader has not admitted their own failings and is paying the price in losing stature among his followers.   Leadership means taking responsibility for both the good and the bad and owning the outcome.

It is easy for those who aren’t strong leaders to push that responsibility to someone else, to other things. The lesson is this, shape your attitude and take responsibility, continue to grow and develop and to look at the leadership lessons you’ve experienced and change what needs to be changed.
What does your attitude say about your leadership, take a look,

What did you learn today?

“In times of change, learners inherit the Earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.”
Eric Hoffer

Learners learn … learners learn that the world is continually taking on a new shape and want to be there to help shape the world.    Each day is a learning experience if reflected on, what did you learn today?

Take a look at this story by Leo Buscaglia,

Papa the Teacher, by Leo Buscaglia

“Papa had natural wisdom. He wasn’t educated in the formal sense. When he was growing up at the turn of the century in a very small village in rural northern Italy, education was for the rich. Papa was the son of a dirt-poor farmer. He used to tell us that he never remembered a single day of his life when he wasn’t working. The concept of doing nothing was never a part of his life. In fact, he couldn’t fathom it. How could one do nothing?

He was taken from school when he was in the fifth grade, over the protestations of his teacher and the village priest, both of whom saw him as a young person with great potential for formal learning. Papa went to work in a factory in a nearby village, the very same village where, years later, he met Mama.

For Papa, the world became his school. He was interested in everything. He read all the books, magazines, and newspapers he could lay his hands on. He loved to gather with people and listen to the town elders and learn about “the world beyond” this tiny, insular region that was home to generations of Buscaglias before him. Papa’s great respect for learning and his sense of wonder about the outside world were carried across the sea with him and later passed on to his family. He was determined that none of his children would be denied an education if he could help it.

Papa believed that the greatest sin of which we were capable was to go to bed at night as ignorant as we had been when we awakened that day. The credo was repeated so often that none of us could fail to be affected by it. “There is so much to learn,” he’d remind us. “Though we’re born stupid, only the stupid remain that way.” To ensure that none of his children ever fell into the trap of complacency, he insisted that we learn at least one new thing each day. He felt that there could be no fact too insignificant, that each bit of learning made us more of a person and insured us against boredom and stagnation.

So Papa devised a ritual. Since dinnertime was family time and everyone came to dinner unless they were dying of malaria, it seemed the perfect forum for sharing what new things we had learned that day. Of course, as children we thought this was perfectly crazy. There was no doubt, when we compared such paternal concerns with other children’s fathers, Papa was weird.

It would never have occurred to us to deny Papa a request. So when my brother and sisters and I congregated in the bathroom to clean up for dinner, the inevitable question was, “What did you learn today?” If the answer was “Nothing,” we didn’t dare sit at the table without first finding a fact in our much-used encyclopedia. “The population of Nepal is. . . ,” etc.

Now, thoroughly clean and armed with our fact for the day, we were ready for dinner. I can still see the table piled high with mountains of food. So large were the mounds of pasta that as a boy I was often unable to see my sister sitting across from me. (The pungent aromas were such that, over a half century later, even in memory, they cause me to salivate.)

Dinner was a noisy time of clattering dishes and endless activity. It was also a time to review the activities of the day. Our animated conversations were always conducted in Piedmontese dialect since Mama didn’t speak English. The events we recounted, no matter how insignificant, were never taken lightly. Mama and Papa always listened carefully and were ready with some comment, often profound and analytical, always right to the point.

“That was the smart thing to do.” “Stupido, how could you be so dumb?” “Cosi sia, you deserved it.” “E allora, no one is perfect.” “Testa dura (“hardhead”) you should have known better. Didn’t we teach you anything?” “Oh, that’s nice.” One dialogue ended and immediately another began. Silent moments were rare at our table.

Then came the grand finale to every meal, the moment we dreaded most – the time to share the day’s new learning. The mental imprint of those sessions still runs before me like a familiar film clip, vital and vivid.

Papa, at the head of the table, would push his chair back slightly, a gesture that signified the end of the eating and suggested that there would be a new activity. He would pour a small glass of red wine, light up a thin, potent Italian cigar, inhale deeply, exhale, then take stock of his family.

For some reason this always had a slightly unsettling effect on us as we stared back at Papa, waiting for him to say something. Every so often he would explain why he did this. He told us that if he didn’t take time to look at us, we would soon be grown and he would have missed us. So he’d stare at us, one after the other.

Finally, his attention would settle upon one of us. “Felice,” he would say to me, “tell me what you learned today.”

“I learned that the population of Nepal is. . . .”

Silence.

It always amazed me, and reinforced my belief that Papa was a little crazy, thatnothing I ever said was considered too trivial for him. First, he’d think about what was said as if the salvation of the world depended upon it.

“The population of Nepal. Hmmmmm. Well.”

He would then look down the table at Mama, who would be ritualistically fixing her favorite fruit in a bit of leftover wine. “Mama, did you know that?”

Mama’s responses were always astonishing, and seemed to lighten the otherwise reverential atmosphere. “Nepal,” she’d say. “Nepal? Not only don’t I know the population of Nepal, I don’t know where in God’s world it is!” Of course, this was only playing into Papa’s hands.

“Felice,” he’d say. “Get the atlas so we can show Mama where Nepal is.” And the search began. The whole family went on a search for Nepal. This same experience was repeated until each family member had a turn. No dinner at our house ever ended without our having been enlightened by at least a half dozen such facts.

As children, we thought very little about these educational wonders, and even less about how we were being enriched. We coudln’t have cared less. We were too impatient to have dinner end so we could join our less-educated friends in a rip-roaring game of kick the can.

In retrospect, after years of studying how people learn, I realize what a dynamic educational technique Papa was offering us, reinforcing the value of continual learning. Without being aware of it, our family was growing together, sharing experiences, and participating in one another’s education. Papa was, without knowing it, giving us an education in the most real sense.

By looking at us, listening to us, respecting our opinions, affirming our value, giving us a sense of dignity, he was unquestionably our most influential teacher.”

How are you learning on a daily basis?   What can you bring to the table?