to improve is to change

Winston Churchill wrote, “To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.”

How often do we desire to improve?   Is it something you look at daily and ask, “I want to do better here or I want to learn more there?”  

Personal growth is tied to a relentless desire to improve and to improve means changing the paradigm you are living in today.     In some respects the nature of pesonal coaching is to help people discover what they want to change in their own life so they can improve.   The definition of what it means to improve is created by the client.    What in your life do you want to improve?   Do you have the tenacity, drive, desire and willingness to hold yourself accountable for the results?   Most people don’t have the willingness to hold themselves accountable for the results they want to achieve.

Are you willing to change?   Are you willing to improve your results in all facets of your life or the facets you choose?

Qualities of Leadership

This will begin a series of short posts about the qualities of a leader.  Granted it is not part of a coaching model but leadership and coaching have close ties in many areas.   Jump on board and explore the qualities.

 

In 1948 General Omar Bradley defined leadership as “the art of influencing human behavior through ability to directly influence people and direct them toward a specific goal.”   What I wanted to point out in the definition is that there are similarities between coaching and leadership as defined here. 

In the world of coaching the coachee defines the path and the coach holds the coachee accountable to the goals.  Bradley’s definition of leadership is other-directed (leader to follower) and in the world of the coach it is self-directed with the coach helping to ensure integrity in the process.

Elevate your skills, elevate who you are ….

coaching is for …. most people

Who is coaching for?

It is for people who want to become better at who they are on an accelerated track.  It is not unusual for people who have a coach to have a quantum leap in personal happiness.  This happiness may be driven by achieving more significance in their lives whether it is at home, at work or in the community.

In general most well adjusted people will benefit from having a coach.  There are some though that a coach should not apply their method of Socratic inquiry.  There are some who would benefit from therapy.  Sometimes the trials of life create disappointment and perhaps even period of depression which is beyond the skills, training and expertise of a coach.  There are times when a coach should recommend that a client seek out professional treatment.

For many people the results of their experiences will be in many respects mostly positive.  Life will be good, not great but good.   For a few very motivated people they might even rise to the level that someone who is coached would attain but that would be a rare occurrence.

Often we don’t know what would generate a quantum leap in personal performance.  We might be missing the questions, the discipline or the accountability to go it alone and to find what truly makes us happy.

Looking at the chart we can see time moving along the horizontal axis and as we reach the zenith of our careers, family or community life we should be at some elevation that is higher than it was when we first embarked on our journeys.   As our story unfolds we should see things steadily improve as we gain in wisdom in knowledge.  

There are some factors that interrupt our journeys and those could be illness, job loss, family crisis or other significant life events that cause our path to deviate from its planned destination.  There are those who can help people navigate the crisis which helps people with significant interruptions in their journey to reengage with life.  

If there is a desire to fully experience life then think about getting a coach to help you realize your goals.

Karen Lamb said, “A year from now you may wish you had started today.”

Knowledge – what do I know

 

There are four domains of knowledge.

1. I know what I know.            - I know it.

2. I know that I don’t know.   – Things that I want to learn.

3. I don’t know that I know.   – Things that I know but seem to have forgotten.

4. I don’t know that I don’ t know.  – I don’t know I didn’t know – what is the question?

These are the paradigms of my world, those four pieces of knowledge.

What makes this particularly difficult is that I don’t know what I don’t know.   There are questions that I don’t even know to ask.  There are places where I am blind and lack knowledge.

“Like the blind we grope along the wall,
       feeling our way like men without eyes.”

We group along the wall because we don’t know what to ask.

Do you have any blind spots?

Here is where coaching can help.  Coaching is engaging in authentic dialog with another to help discover and uncover those areas of blindness and working with the person to find a path to more knowledge about themselves, the world, and their part in the story.

Often we can’t discover what we don’t know because we don’t know the questions to ask to help us reveal the answer.  Discovery isn’t always easy.   Discovery though can be infinitely valuable.  Discovery is a path to freedom.

Which quadrant is the biggest?  

What do you want to know?   Do you seek the answers to the questions you don’ t know to ask?

Survival of the wisest

The leaders from now on must be champions of cooperation more often than competition. While the power to maintain access to resources and to deter aggression will remain vital, the “survival of the fittest” mentality must give way to “the survival of the wisest”, a philosophy of understanding, cooperation, knowledge and reason. The real leaders will get what they want by helping others get what they want.” Dennis Waitley from “Safari to the Soul”

The last sentence in that quote is a large part of what coaching is all about. It is about helping others get what they want. In many cases it will be identifying what others want and then creating the charts and maps for them to reach that temporary destination.

Our maps are ephemeral in a sense that they need to be continually updated as we reach or approach the desired destination. Change is the force that pushes us in new directions on a continual basis. To stand in one place in some form is loss. To flow with the winds of change or to master the winds of change and to sail deliberately to some place gives meaning and purpose to life.

Be Inspired

Need to be inspired

- need a reason to reach a bit further – need a reason to change.

Take a look at this clip. Let your dreams live

Isn’t it about time.

What is Life Coaching?

Are you marching in place lacking the desire and energy to have your life come alive? Have you reached a plateau in personal or career performance? Do you see yourself looking out at a world and thinking you don’t fit?

Have you set goal after goal only to see each one of them disappear from your memory after a few days or weeks? Are you just growing tired of the constant daily battles that seem to rob you of strength, ideas and joy?

If life is like eating a stale cracker then it is time for a change. If there is no reason to get out of bed in the morning it is time for a change.

If you are thinking that there is more to life than what you have today then you are ready to have someone help you move beyond the barriers, the walls, and the complacency.

A life coach can help you chart a new course so that life can become all that it is meant to be.

Coach with HEART is accomplished by being Humble, Encouraging, Acknowledging Relational and Trustworthy, HEART.

The goal is to raise your personal performance bar a few notches and maybe more than a few, many notches higher. Can you see yourself filled with more energy, taking more risks, succeeding more often and enjoying the fruits of your work? I hope you can.

The winning edge

Most people never reach their full potential and they may not know why. You can have the drive, the desire, the passion and the qualities to perform beyond your dreams but it doesn’t happen.

Look at the professional golfers and you’ll see something they have in common. They have someone who helps them reach the winning edge. They have a coach that helps them go beyond their own mental and physical boundaries.

Coaching though isn’t about teaching, mentoring or counseling. Coaching is about helping the client find their true self so they can achieve maximal success.

What does it take go get to the winning edge? It takes a person who wants to do the work that it takes to make the necessary changes that will allow the full range of talents to be released. Coaching is for people who know that self-improvement rarely works and are willing to invest in coaching so that they can continually improve their performance.

You are coachable when:

You allow others to help you.

You have a teachable spirit and a willingness to learn.

You are willing to let go of today to reach for tomorrow.

You are willing to be held accountable.

You are willing to look at yourself in the mirror.

Inside of us there is something waiting to be released, it is the full power of our self. Are you ready to take the first step? What is your plan? Take the first step.

Building trust

“Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.” Marcus Aurelius

What does that have to do with trust? Trust that tomorrow will bring what is good into being rather than the opposite.

Trust based on thick and thin would signify that there is something there that is tangible and solid in good times and bad. What would the relationship be if things were only good in good times? That would not be a strong relationship and one certainly not based on trust.

Think of trust as being intentional vulnerability? Are you willing to open your heart to someone else and believe that what you say will not be held against you? How many people can do that? I’m sure it is a small number of people who feel they can trust fully those around them.

In our workplaces does trust between a manager and employee exist with vulnerability? Is there that willingness to accept risk and help each other over obstacles? If there is, then real trust must exist.

Honest communication takes trust and the trust must be more than a superficial level of trust. It takes time and effort to build a trust that accepts without judgment the bruises of the soul. Too often we take what others say and use that against them rather than using what they say to help build them up so they can chart a new path or strengthen the path that they are already on.

If you think you would like a coach – openings are available.

Our thoughts are powerful

What we ponder and what we think about sets the course of our
life. Any day we wish; we can discipline ourselves to change it
all. Any day we wish, we can open the book that will open our
mind to new knowledge. Any day we wish, we can start a new
activity. Any day we wish, we can start the process of life
change. We can do it immediately, or next week, or next month,
or next year.” Jim Rohn

What are your thoughts?   Can we change the course of our life, of our week, of our day, we can, we can and we can.

“Man is made or unmade by himself. In the armory of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself. He also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace.” James Allen

To keep us from creating weapons of destruction, which we can do in our own thoughts we need to work with someone else, a partner to help us weave the tapestry that will become our mansion of joy and peace.

Alone we are left to our own devices – work with others and break free of doing it your own way.