The leaders from now on must be champions of cooperation more often than competition. While the power to maintain access to resources and to deter aggression will remain vital, the “survival of the fittest” mentality must give way to “the survival of the wisest”, a philosophy of understanding, cooperation, knowledge and reason. The real leaders will get what they want by helping others get what they want.” Dennis Waitley from “Safari to the Soul”
The last sentence in that quote is a large part of what coaching is all about. It is about helping others get what they want. In many cases it will be identifying what others want and then creating the charts and maps for them to reach that temporary destination.
Our maps are ephemeral in a sense that they need to be continually updated as we reach or approach the desired destination. Change is the force that pushes us in new directions on a continual basis. To stand in one place in some form is loss. To flow with the winds of change or to master the winds of change and to sail deliberately to some place gives meaning and purpose to life.
Have you ever thought about the questions you ask yourself? What is that little voice in your head saying? Is it asking questions for growth and learning or are the questions about judging?
Here are some examples of questions that are designed to help you grow.
- What do I want?
- What are the facts?
- What assumptions am I making?
- What can I learn?
- What are my choices?
- What is best to do know?
Or there are questions that cause you to sink back and wonder.
- Why can’t I ever win?
- Why do things seem dumb and irritating?
- Whose fault is it?
- What is wrong with me?
Notice the power of the forward looking questions vs. the questions that pull you down.
The choices we make can be for the good. Good questions help us arrive at good destinations. Look for win-win situations, make connections with others, and look for the facts in every situation.
Good questions can help result in good outcomes. What are those questions?