Monthly Archives: October 2008

find yourself

“People often say that this or that person has not found himself.  But the self is not something one finds.  It is something that one creates.”

Thomas Szasz

Believe that you have it, and you do

Do you believe that you have it?

put anxiety behind you

Anxiety, fear and the pressure of daily life takes its toll on many and reduces their ability to sleep, work, and think well.   When the speed of daily living moves at such a pace that it feels like the world would sooner expel you into the depths of space then it is time step back from the maelstrom of chaos.  So, what can you do?

Here are some of the symptoms of a life that is going too fast:

          Rushed, not enough time to do what needs to be done

          Not feeling in control

          Irritation with others who enter your space, consciousness

          Tightness in the stomach

          Numbness to the world and self, lack of feelings

          Disconnection from life

          Life no longer is enjoyable

          Feeling like there is always anxiety or pressure in each day

How much are you investing emotionally by being preoccupied by the events of the day?  

When life seems to be overwhelming there are some simple steps that can be taken to restore normalcy.   Practice for five minutes twice a day.

1.      Write down the things that preoccupies your mind.   List them on paper.

2.      Breathe out the things that occupy your mind. Slowly release the things that are invading the thoughts in your mind.

3.      Bring in thoughts of appreciation, of beauty, of peace.  Sustain these thoughts.

4.      Share your positive feelings with others.

relentless focus

Listening is an essential attribute in a client coach relationship.  Each of us carries with us a story, a unique story about the past, present and the future.  Our story is filled with the experiences and events that have shaped our lives. 

For example when we are listening we hear the words (content) and then relate them to our contextual framework (our experience).   As we overlay what we hear with our experience (what is in our memory) we “pop out” of the conversation for a moment and depending on the vividness of the story we may “pop out” of the conversation for a few seconds.   When that happens we have lost connection with the story that is being presented (i.e. we are no longer present). 

Intentional listening takes work and like physical exercise needs to be done often in order to improve.   Listen with intent for thirty seconds each day building towards one minute of focused listening (which means silencing the internal critic in the head).  Process the story and allow the story being told to be the only thing that is being processed.   When there are breaks in concentration quickly return to the full focus of listening.

If the speaker mentions “mountains” our mind will imagine a mountain and in many cases our mind will probe the shape, the orientation, height, cliffs, valleys and other features of that mountain and that takes us away from the story.   Those “pops” out of the listening experience need to be very brief in order to be fully present in the listening process.  

It is not that it is wrong to connect our context with the content of the story because that is how we are able to share experiences even though there are vast differences in the context of the story.   We just need to be careful not to escape into our story when we are listening to the story of another person.

Do you “pop out” of the story or are you disciplined in your listening abilities?

How long can you focus on the story of another person?

What can you do to improve your focus?

Now what if your brain becomes full, what do you do?  [This is where we acknowledge the story, through paraphrasing, echoing, questioning …]

Get on board! Get on Board!

Get on board!  Get on board!

 

Get on board!  Get on board the train that no one wants to ride on ,

Get on board the train to joy,

Get on board the train to happiness,

Get on board the train to peace,

Get on board the train to freedom,

Get on board the train to beauty,

Get on board the train to truth,

Get on board the train to love,

Get on board the train to life,

Get on board, Get on board, the ticket is free, get on board.

All you have to do is leave behind,

Fear,

Hate,

Greed,

Injustice,

Anger,

Malice,

Destruction,

Cowardice,

Death!

Get on board! Get on board!  The ticket has been paid for.  Get on board!

What are you waiting for?

Desires of the heart.

I wonder how often it is that where we are today becomes our destiny.   Can you imagine what it would be like to find the desires of your heart?   What does that look like for you?

everything that is

” You are everthing that is,
your thoughts, your life, your dreams come true.
   You are everything you chose to be.
You are as unlimited as the endless universe.”     Shad Helmstetter