Monthly Archives: December 2009

Programmed for

“First we make our habits, then our habits make us.”  Charles C. Nobel

We are programmed by things that have happened to us, or things  that have happened to those around us.   Eventually the things in life that have happened to us become our operating rules.    These rules try to protect us from having those events of the past pop back into our lives in the present.  Our rules become our personal safety net.  

If you want to be programmed for success you needs rules that support success.   Many people have rules that support failure, their own failure.    People live by rules that say “It can’t be done”, or “You are not good enough”.   These kind of rules limit who we can be and who we are.

Our daily attitude can be a result of the rules we have that govern our lives.

Have you ever talked to someone who couldn’t find a good thing in their lives?   Nothing in their life has worked out for their benefit might be a declaration they would make.    Some people live with rules that suggest that the world owes them something, and at a minimum the world owes them happiness.    Sadly the world doesn’t give people the happiness they believe they deserve, and  the world doesn’t give people success either.   The world only reflects back an image of who we are.   

What rules do you have that are limiting who you could become?

What are your rules for happiness?

What are your rules for success?

What are your rules for friendship?

What are your rules for relationships?

What are your rules for joy?

What are your rules for love?

Examine your rules.   Are  your rules serving  you and what you desire to become or are they restricting you from becoming all that you were meant to be?

Peyton Conway March  wrote, “There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life — happiness, freedom, and peace of mind — are always attained by giving them to someone else.”

some people have asked why life coaching?

Ken Blanchard an icon on leadership and personal development said,  “I believe no matter how successful we are, we all need a coach to encourage us, to challenge us, to remind us to live up to our potential.”   

Our lives are busy and we try to extract value from every moment or at least that is what we are thinking.   We plow through the day, sometimes thoroughly exhausted, to face yet another day filled with things to do.   You might in a moment of reflection realize that all this busyness isn’t providing you with anything meaningful.   Life has just become a habit, a routine and endless sea of the same thing and at some point there is the realization that there should be something better.   What is that better thing?

Here’s some statistics about what coaching can do.

From lifecoaching statistics.

  • A higher level of self-awareness: 67.6%
  • Smarter goal-setting: 62.4%
  • A more balanced life: 60.5%
  • Lower stress levels: 57.1%
  • Self-discovery: 52.9%
  • More self-confidence: 52.4%
  • Improvement in quality of life: 43.3%
  • Enhanced communication skills: 39.5%
  • Project completion: 35.7%
  • Health or fitness improvement: 33.8%
  • Better relationships with boss or co-workers: 33.3%
  • Better family relationships: 33.3%
  • Increased energy: 31.9%
  • More fun: 31.9%
  • More income: 25.7%
  • Stopped a bad habit: 25.7%
  • Change in career: 24.3%
  • More free time: 22.9%
  • Increased profitability of business: 17.1%
  • Started new business: 12.9%
  • Empowered employees: 11.0%

There seems to be a body of growing evidence that coaching is helping people discover themselves, their purpose, mission and value in life.  

Coaching provides great benefits for a low investment in time and money.  

Jim Rohn one of the great business thinkers and philosophers said of coaching, ” The few who DO are the envy of the many who only watch.”  

So why coaching?   Because it works, because it can powerfully transform ordinary living into meaningful living, purposeful living, and intentional living.

when leaders fail

The hottest topic in the news these days is the moral failure of Tiger Woods.    A public icon/hero/leader that exhibited a moral collapse is producing a media feeding frenzy of great intensity.   Never will the image and character of Tiger Woods be able to stand untarnished again at least in the public eye.

This isn’t the first time a leader that lived larger than life in the public arena has failed.   In Biblical times David and Bathsheba where the headline story.   In more recent times, Bill Clinton, Mark Sanford the governor of South Carolina, Ted Haggard and the list goes on.

Leaders and public icons reach a point where their influence and power leads them to a place of intense personal loneliness.   There is a huge gaping hole in their heart that money, power, or fame can’t fill.   The gap becomes an integrity gap, the difference between what they wish to be and what they really are.

When the luster of leader is tarnished it takes a great deal of humility, forgiveness and resilience to begin the process of restoration.  Even with new habits, new commitment and a new character, people will generally revert back to an incident in the past as the definition of truth for that individual.

Once the flaw is exposed it remains a stain on the character of an individual for life.    A positive character attribute that was dominantly present in the past that loses purity in the present is perceived to be lost value.  That is the past for positive attributes does not define the future, but a negative attribute does become part of the future.   In the minds of people, changing a negative value seems impossible, trust doesn’t come easily.   Keeping a positive value seems impossible, trust is lost easily.

Trust and integrity become the brand of a leader.   Celebrity branding, whether in sports, government, entertainment or other profession is important to those businesses that use that branding to promote their products as trustworthy is subject to the moral condition of man, which isn’t perfect.

How does a leader in any walk of life regain their integrity, character and value if they have compromised their values?

waiting for a miracle?

Miracles happen every day, something unusual, something out of the ordinary, something very special happens each and every day.   Often these events are missed in the hustle and bustle of daily life.   Who stops to recognize the sunrise?   Who stares at the stars in the sky?   What part of life are you missing because it is often moving so quickly that it becomes a blur?

Albert Einstein said, “There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle. “

Which way do you want to live your life?

Blessings in your life

Find some blessings in your life …  take a look.

are you letting time manage you?

“Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.”   Carl Sandburg

Is time managing you or are you managing your time?

People create lists so they can check things off when they are done with them and others just do.   I don’t know which type of person finds at the end of the day that what they expected to get done didn’t get done but it must be one of those.

What needs to be done should be done.   What can wait to be done is better left undone.   Use those moments to do something that is really important.

If all the time you have is rushing about doing, and doing things that are of little matter your life will matter less as well.   Do the things that matter.

It wasn’t long ago that a story was shared about a man who grew up in utter poverty.   One of nine children in the family he worked his whole life to be free of poverty.   He gained wealth through his hard work.   He made a fortune in real-estate.   He was known as a tough dealer.

Later in his life as he lay on his death bed he shared something of great value.   It is all about relationships in the end.   What will matter in the end?   Will it be that list of things that seemed so important or will it be the value of the relationships that you created during your life?

How do you want to spend your time or how do you want to invest in your time?  Make time work for you rather than you working against time.

revolution in the heart

“The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives”  William James

Where does change get its impetus from?   What causes you to desire to change?   Is it an event that is so significant that you can’t ignore the tug it has on you?   Is it some trauma that you just can’t seem to escape?   Is it a career that is stifling your growth and ability to be who you really are?

In a sense it doesn’t matter what that change initiator is but what matters is that you recognized that something inside you wanted to change.   In many cases change doesn’t happen because something prevents that mobilizing force that wells in the pit of the stomach from ever getting strong enough to create movement.    Fear is one of those captivating forces that prevents substantial and important change to take place.   The fear that something might happen that would reduce or impact negatively a value you strongly identify with.

Change begins to occur when there is a revolution in the heart, when something is so big you cannot ignore it.

Do you have something in your heart calling out to you – change?