Daily Archives: July 26, 2011

choose your emotion

“Never allow anyone to rain on your parade and thus cast a pall of gloom and defeat on the entire day. Remember that no talent, no self-denial, no brains, no character, are required to set up in the fault-finding business. Nothing external can have any power over you unless you permit it. Your time is too precious to be sacrificed in wasted days combating the menial forces of hate, jealously, and envy. Guard your fragile life carefully. Only God can shape a flower, but any foolish child can pull it to pieces.”
Og Mandino

Who controls your emotions?   Do circumstances control your emotions?   Think about it for a minute, are external events taking control of you.

When was the last time you had an outburst of anger over how someone was driving?   What were you saying about the driver that just stopped right in front of you without any reason to do so.  Or when the driver just sat there at a traffic light when it turned green, what were you saying.   So, what made you so angry?  Was it the other driver that made you mad or was it “you” that made you mad?

What made you angry or upset was the fact that your expectations weren’t met.   You were upset that you didn’t get your way in the situation.  Isn’t that true?   Now, if you were thinking in the driving situation that the other driver could have killed you or caused an accident perhaps that would be true and at the same time how many of those events were merely an interruption of your own expectations.

How many times has those “car” incidents followed  you around the whole day.  You’re mad when you get to work, you’re mad at lunch, you’re mad going home and you’re mad when you get home.   That event hijacked your emotions for a full day and was it worth it?

How are you choosing your emotions?

What emotions are ruling you?   Are you falling prey to mild depression, too much stress, or something else?   What would you like to change?

It is easy to let our emotions rule our day and in many cases ruin our day.  There are steps that you can take to regain control of your day and your emotions.

1. Take a deep breath, a deep one,  and exhale slowly.

2. Observe, was this really a big deal.  If someone else made a mistake forgive them, if you made a mistake forgive yourself.

3. Regain a sense of control and calmness.   Slow it down.

4. Think, what really happened to your emotions, was it worth it to get upset.   In most cases it probably wasn’t.

5. Reframe – look at the issue from a different point of view, perhaps the other person’s point of view or just look at it from a different angle.  What did you see different.

Take the time to just step back, observe and notice what happened.  Your emotions may have been hijacked so allow them to get settled back down and let it all go.  There are more important things in life to deal with than what someone else did.   See if this strategy brings more peace into your life.