Daily Archives: August 25, 2011

your words

“One of the fundamental differences between the Victim Orientation and this one [Creator] is where you put your focus of attention…For Victims, the focus is always on what they don’t want: the problems that seem constantly to multiply in their lives. They don’t want the person, condition, or circumstance they consider their Persecutor, and they don’t want the fear that leads to fight, flee or freeze reactions, either. Creators, on the other hand, place their focus on what they do want. Doing this, Creators still face and solve problems in the course of creating outcomes they want, but their focus remains fixed on their ultimate vision.”   David Emerald   

Are your words the words of power and creation or are they words that take away any power that you thought you have?   There are words that command action, that create change and show commitment.  For many people using words that create action is pretty scary.   If they use words of commitment they are also choosing to be responsible and many people just don’t want to be responsible.

There are basically two classes of people, owner’s and victim’s.    The victim is always looking the world from a point of view that would suggest the “world” is doing something to them.   The owner looks at the world as an opportunity to create something new.

The language of the victim is riddled with words like “ought”, “should”, “need”, “have to”, “could”, “might”, “try”, “if”,”but”, and “hope to”.    These are words that lack ownership and responsibility.   They are words that have an escape clause built into them.   “I said I was going to ‘try’ to get that done for you”, or ” I should get it done”, or “I need to go to work”, and those sentences are just an easy way to say, “I am not ready to be responsible.”    What words are you using?

The words of the owner, the person who is responsible for their life,  are “will”, “commit”, “want to”, “desire to”, “resolve to”,  and “act on”,  and those words show commitment to doing things versus maybe thinking about doing something in the future.    The owner takes the reins of today and doesn’t promise that “I’ll get to that tomorrow”.    When does tomorrow come?

Think about the language you are using.   Is it filled with “if’s” and “but’s” or is it filled with words that demand action.    It is easy to get into the habit of being a victim and staying there.   It takes work to become the creative owner of your life and it starts with the words you choose to use.   What words will you start using today?