inside out

“The ”Inside-Out” approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness means to start first with self; even more fundamentally, to start with the most inside part of self / with your paradigms, your character, and your motives. The inside-out approach says that private victories precede public victories, that making and keeping promises to ourselves recedes making and keeping promises to others. It says it is futile to put personality ahead of character, to try to improve relationships with others before improving ourselves.”  Steven Covey

One of the greatest challenges people face in trying to live a better life is changing their life so that it is better rather than trying to change the circumstances.   You’ve met people who are having a bad day and are angry at the world.  “It’s your fault”, they exclaim with personal indignation, “You don’t know how bad my world is  and you are responsible for the way I feel” .

While it is true that no one can know how someone feels or know they  experience the trails of life it is understandable that there are many things make each day a challenge.   The difference is between those who wallow in their pain and those who take charge of each moment to turn pain into a lever for personal change.

When bitterness rages through the soul there is nothing that can be done to stop that flood of anger.   It isn’t until there is a realization that being bitter, angry and upset doesn’t produce the results that are desired.   As soon as one takes full responsibility for their life is the moment the scales shift in their favor.

I would imagine you know of people who have a bitter streak a mile long and in some cases it is infectious and starts stealing your joy and in other cases it pushes you away.    Who wants to be around someone who is sick of the world and everything in it?   There aren’t many people that do.

The inside-out approach to living is to first identify those things within you that need to change.   List them out and look at each one closely.  What is the most important thing to change?   What stops you from making those changes?

The next step is to set some goals to make those changes.  Get serious about creating some new habits, find a new positive habit to replace the old sour habit.   It takes a one-to-one replacement for each bad habit needs a new positive habit.

To continue to move forward, find someone to hold you accountable to making those changes.   Making changes alone is difficult and after a couple of weeks the goal my just slip by the wayside.   Allow someone to ask you the  hard questions, are you doing what you said you would do?

Finally, when the old habit is gone, really gone have someone check on you everyone once in a while to see if it is really gone.   For each new habit you create someone will notice and may even compliment you on the change.   Allow them to congratulate you and then move forward yet again, tackle another habit until all the bad ones have been replaced.

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