compassionate communication

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

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Have you ever stopped to think about compassionate communications?  I would imagine that most people haven’t thought it about or communicated with others compassionately.   It’s not really how most people think or do communications.  We communicate to “say” something and then move on to the next thing on our daily agenda.   Communications in many cases is “directive” communication and because there is so much directive communication coming from a variety of channels in our lives it can be ignored.

What does compassionate communication look like?

It is a 12 step process that I’ll cover in the next few blog postings.  The outline of the process is:

1. Relax
2. Stay present
3. Create inner silence
4. Increase positive emotions/thinking
5. Reflect on your deepest values
6. Access a pleasant memory
7. Observe non-verbal cues
8. Express appreciation
9. Speak slowly
10. Speak warmly
11. Speak briefly
12. Listen deeply
(This material comes from the book, “Words can change your brain: 12 conversation strategies to build trust, resolve conflict, and increase intimacy” by Andrew Newberg and Mark Robert Waldman

The process may seem easy and even a common sense approach to better communications and it would be if it were followed more often.

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