Category Archives: being

pause

In meditation we discover our inherent restlessness. Sometimes we get up and leave. Sometimes we sit there but our bodies wiggle and squirm and our minds go far away. This can be so uncomfortable that we feel’s it’s impossible to stay. Yet this feeling can teach us not just about ourselves but what it is to be human…we really don’t want to stay with the nakedness of our present experience. It goes against the grain to stay present. These are the times when only gentleness and a sense of humor can give us the strength to settle down…so whenever we wander off, we gently encourage ourselves to “stay” and settle down. Are we experiencing restlessness? Stay! Are fear and loathing out of control? Stay! Aching knees and throbbing back? Stay! What’s for lunch? Stay! I can’t stand this another minute! Stay!”
― Pema Chödrön

When was the last time  you stopped what you were doing to do nothing?

What was the last time you stopped to take in a deep breath just to feel the air filling your lungs?

When was the last time you stopped to watch the sky change colors?

What was the last time you dipped your hand into a stream?

Busyness crowds out living.  Being busy and doing things is what most people are trained to do.  People are trained to start moving at sunrise and to stop moving when there is no energy left to move.  Tomorrow crowds out today.   Life is filled with anxious moments of pleasing others.  Am I good enough?

Take time to put life on pause.   Just stop for a few moments and watch your thoughts.  What are your thoughts telling you?   Do you really want to know?

Put yourself on a diet.  Stop doing so you can start being.  Most people are “doing” and that is like eating fast food for every meal.   Too much doing crowds out the nourishment of being.

It’s time for a pause.

knowing your blind spots

“As a leader, 1st, work on yourself- increase your self-awareness. There shouldn’t be any other urgent agenda than this. Get enlightened! Know very well who you’re including your strengths, weaknesses, and blind spots!”
― Assegid Habtewold

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Everyone has blind spots in their lives, an area that they are unaware of and how it can impact other people.  Some people exploit blind spots to gain control or have an advantage of another person.    Finding out what the blind spots are, being aware gives you a chance to live a better life.

In business executives work with coaches to help them reveal their blind spots, poor communications, anger management, overwhelm, time management, focus and more, can derail a career.   Knowing what those blind spots are opportunities for getting better results.

Not everyone wants to know what their blind spots are and yet knowing them, being aware of what might cause problems, is valuable.   Being blind to what others see can impact relationships, careers and friendships.

What can you do to increase personal awareness?

Ask others to share what they see when you are emotionally stressed.   Ask them to share what your strengths and weaknesses are.   Those are starting points to revealing the blind spots.

Organizations can have blind spots as well.   People come into the organization and adopt the practices and procedures of an organization and over time lose the opportunity to understand why things are done in a certain way.

What are your blind spots?  How are they affecting you?

I will change

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
― Apple Inc.

It starts when …

 

Maybe you need to look at yourself in a new way this coming year.   Change is about seeing yourself as you want to be not as you are.

Perhaps you are getting tired of the way things are and have been and you’re ready to look at yourself in a new way and the only problem is taking that first step.   For some taking that first necessary step is scary, take it anyway.   Step across the boundary of fear and start seeing yourself in a new way.

You’ll smile on the inside when you make that step.   When you commit to losing those extra pounds.  When you commit to taking responsibility for your life.   When you commit to doing work you love to do.  When you commit to being authentic.   When you make  a choice to live fully.   When you make a commitment and honor it change will come.

Start today.   Look at the mirror and look deeply into the eyes looking back at you.   What do you want those eyes to say?   What do you want your life to mean?   Honor the truth you have within.

how to become more powerful

“This life is yours. Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well. Take the power to love what you want in life and love it honestly. Take the power to walk in the forest and be a part of nature. Take the power to control your own life. No one else can do it for you. Take the power to make your life happy.”
― Susan Polis Schutz

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Maybe you’ve heard the phrase “fake it until you make it”, the idea that if you really want something you can fake it until you figure out how to do it.   That might be the case that attitude trumps aptitude, believing that you can do it results in the ability to do it.

That might be the belief that many winners take, an attitude of doing what it takes to make it.   That is the attitude of success.    The book “The Secret” wraps a story around the attitude of believing first then achieving second.    While there is no real “Secret” to success other than having a profound desire to achieve “The Secret” would have you believe that the universe conspires on your behalf to generate the results you think about.   The reality is that as you think about your success and start working on goals to realize that success you generate success.   It is about your attitude of success that delivers results.

Creating a positive vision for your future and taking action upon that future will lead to more positive results than thinking about a future you can’t have or achieve.

There may be times that you feel unqualified to do something or achieve something big in your life and this is where you “fake it until you become it”.   Believing that you can do something and working at doing it will be far more productive than believing you can’t do something and not doing it.

The idea is explained in this video and the key idea is about 15 minutes in.  So if you are short of time skip over the first 15 minutes and then listen in.

What have you believed you can’t do that you’d love to do?  Start doing to start becoming.

ask for the unreasonable

“Most men either compromise or drop their greatest talents and start running after, what they perceive to be, a more reasonable success, and somewhere in between they end up with a discontented settlement. Safety is indeed stability, but it is not progression.” 
― Criss Jami

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 Consider what would  happen if you did something that was outside your comfort zone.   What would you ask for?   What would you want?

What stops many people is the fear of someone saying “No” to a request.  Just the thought that someone might say “no” stops the question from being asked.   The only place that the request was unreasonable was in the mind of a reasonable person.    We won’t get what we don’t ask for.

Think about something you want to accomplish, have or be.   What question would you ask and who would you ask that question to?    What would happen if you got the answer you wanted?   What would you really do?

Progress is made by making unreasonable requests.   What request do you want to make?   What will it take for you to make it?

positivity for greater success

“We all have ability. The difference is how we use it”
— Stevie Wonder

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What would it mean to you to improve your mental outlook?   What would it mean to feel better, have fewer headaches, fewer pains and aches, and less stress?   It is all available to you by changing your thoughts.  Change your thoughts and you change your emotions.   

Your thoughts produce your emotions.   It may take a few minutes to think about that so do just that, think about what that means.  Let’s say something happens outside of your control, like a rock hits your windshield as your driving down the road.  “Smack” … it’s loud, and for a second you may not know what has happened.   The car is still moving forward and you are trying to figure out what has happened.  You brain is in overdrive.  The adrenaline is rushing out through the body.   Flight-Fight-Freeze, which action are you going to take.   Your brain wants you to do something but you don’t know what that something is.    Now you see a crack on the window starting to form … and now you’re wondering what the cause was.  What is it that you are saying?   What words are you using and what thoughts do you have?   The more you think perhaps the angrier you get, or maybe you’re thankful that it wasn’t worse.   You’re thinking about what happened and generating emotions of relief, anger or something different.

What if we thought positive thoughts rather than negative ones, what do you think would happen?  Well, you’d start feeling better.   A bad day could become a great day.  Whatever it is you’re making a conscious choice to feel or be something.

Listen to Barbara Fredrickson explain how to generate positive emotions.

who do you see in the mirror?

“Mindfulness helps us get better at seeing the difference between what’s happening and the stories we tell ourselves about what’s happening, stories that get in the way of direct experience. Often such stories treat a fleeting state of mind as if it were our entire and permanent self.”
― Sharon Salzberg

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Are you really the person you think you are?   You might be thinking, this is a trick question, or of course I’m the person I think I am.   It is interesting that studies show that American’s have an inflated view of their abilities and how they perform.  This recent study about teacher’s shows that most teachers believe they are highly effective.   College professors are at an amazingly high level of proficiency where 94% believe they are above average.

Teen drivers believe they too are above average.  Startling statistics show that most people are above average drivers.     So, are all drivers above average?  Of course not.   What is happening is that people want to feel better than average.  Who can be an average driver?  It’s the other person isn’t it?Zip_car

Scientific American recently printed an article on the increased sense of optimism many people have.   The optimistic self may have a better chance at advancing in society, career and life.   After all who wants to hang out with a depressed person.

When you are looking around at other people, what do you see?  Are they the ones that are above average or is it you that is above average?  Who is this average person anyway?   Is there such a person?      When you look in the mirror who is looking back?   Is it the above average person or is it someone else?

How does being above average serve you?