Category Archives: desire

make life your practice

“I believe that we learn by practice. Whether it means to learn to dance by practicing dancing or to learn to live by practicing living, the principles are the same. In each, it is the performance of a dedicated precise set of acts, physical or intellectual, from which comes shape of achievement, a sense of one’s being, a satisfaction of spirit. One becomes, in some area, an athlete of God. Practice means to perform, over and over again in the face of all obstacles, some act of vision, of faith, of desire. Practice is a means of inviting the perfection desired.”
― Martha Graham

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Practicing isn’t always going to be fun, yet it is what leads to perfecting your craft, your work, your relationships, your communications, your community and your life.

What are you working on continually to get better at?

When you practice you grow.  Practice invites you to greater challenges.  Practice is the foundation of confidence and competence.    By enhancing your abilities you increase your chances for new opportunities.

Practicing isn’t about being perfect it is about recognizing the imperfections and adjusting so the potential of an error is reduced in the future.

What do you want to get better at?   What will it take?   Will you do it?

 

do live your dream

“Be thankful for a breath of fresh air to be alive and well. Allow love and happiness to penetrate throughout your mind and soul. Take time to relax and live in the moment, the now, the present. Enjoy today.”
― Amaka Imani Nkosazana

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Did you know that most people don’t live their dreams?   Some people live the dreams that others have for them and live a life of regret.  Others don’t have a dream to push towards and live each day as it comes and live a life of regret.    Whose dreams are you living for?

Someone asked, “Write a story.”

“A story about what?”

“A story about your life”

“A story about my life – what is there to tell.”

If someone asked you to write your story or to tell your story what would you say?   What do you want to say?   What do you want to write?

Wouldn’t it be nice to write, “I lived my dreams.”

“What were your dreams … tell me more.”

“Umm, I didn’t live my dreams … I ….”

Now, do you want that to be your story?   Do you want your story to end with, “I didn’t ….?”   Most people don’t want their story to end at a dead end street.  I am thinking that you don’t want your story to end their either.

So, why not build a story by living out your dream.   If you don’t have a compelling vision of your future then it’s time to create one.   It’s time to start writing your story that doesn’t end with “I didn’t”.

Start writing your story today.

overcoming resistance

“Be of good cheer. Do not think of today’s failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost.”
― Helen Keller

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What are you resisting doing?   It may be as simple as getting out of bed in the morning and resisting starting the day.   You can tell you are resisting taking action on something when you do something else instead of the “one” thing you have on your “I should do list”.   You’ll think about starting doing something and then you’ll do something else, something that is more pleasing.  You’ve been there haven’t you?

Write down a list of things you resist doing.    For each item on that list write down what your feelings about those tasks.   What do you feel (anger, depressed, tired, anxious, …)?

Now, for each item you expressed a feeling for, probably a negative feeling, then ask yourself,

Step a.    “Could I accept this feeling of ____________”.
Step b.   “Could I release this feeling of ____________”.   (Release is to let it go)
Step c.  “Would I release this feeling of ____________”.
Step d.  “When will I release the feeling”.

Ask yourself those questions and go through them.   If you can’t let it go the first time go back and repeat those questions again.

Basically you are giving yourself permission to release the resistance.  Once you have let it go the resistance to completing the task will start lowering.  Tackle the task and get the result you want to get.

Practice those steps and see if you can reduce your reluctance to start and complete things you don’t like to do.

Here’s another approach to overcoming resistance.   Try one.

being stuck right where I am and liking it

“We are set in our ways, bound by our perspectives and stuck in our thinking.” ― Joel Osteen

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Sometimes people seem to be stuck in the past.  I’ve heard people talk about how they want to change up until the moment they have to do something to create a change in their life.  They are stuck right where they are, bad job, bad relationships, bad finances, bad friends, and just about everything is bad from their point of view and they only want to tell people how bad things are.

Stuck!  Stuck right where they are in misery.   They say they want to make a change and can tell you everything that they want to change, or maybe it is that they really want the world around them to change to meet their view of the world.   Imagine that you could get a better job just by complaining about the one you have right now.  Imagine a marriage being fixed by just complaining about it.  Imagine living in abundance just by complaining about it.   For some people that is what they want, complaints that turn into results.    It doesn’t work that way.

Being stuck can be comfortable when the alternative means making a change.   Change requires facing a fear, the fear of something that could go wrong.  Our brains are tuned so strongly to listen to fear that it drowns out the power of a great idea.  “What if I fail?” rather than “When I succeed”.

When we experience failure we have to plow through the whole grief cycle.

1. Denial – this possibly can’t be.
2. Anger – who’s fault is this anyway, certainly can’t be my fault.
3. Bargaining – there must be some mistake here.
4.  Sadness – I’m not sure I want to do anything
5. Acceptance  – Maybe there is an alternative.

How many people want to experience going through the grief process?  It might be that those who are resilient and realize that temporary setbacks are just that temporary, they are learning experiences rather than a statement that says, “I’m not good enough.”

So, what do you do?  What does it take to push through the barriers of fear?  Look for the positive aspects of change rather than being held back by the fear of change.  How fast you progress through the grief cycle will have some impact on your level of happiness.

Do you want to stay stuck or move forward?

how do you deceive yourself

“Seldom, very seldom, does complete truth belong to any human disclosure; seldom can it happen that something is not a little disguised or a little mistaken.”
― Jane Austen

What do you believe about yourself?   What is your real truth?   Below is a video about people who describe themselves in one way and others describe that same person in another.   How we think of ourselves matters.

How we see ourselves impacts our ability to be our best.    Our best may be exaggerated a bit, more positive or more handsome or beautiful.   We want to believe we are somewhat better than we really are because it pushes us in some way to be that person.   If we believe we are more negative than we really are we don’t believe we can do the things we could otherwise.

We deceive ourselves for a number of reasons.  If we believe in that deception does it help us live a better life?

What do you think of yourself?   Who do you think you really are?   Are you the person you want to be?   Are you the person that others see?   What is your answer?

 

the subtle difference

“Humans are fragile.  Mistakes are guaranteed.  Our concentration is always shifting.  There’s no reason, except that this is the natural constitution of the mind.”  Sean Foley (Tiger Woods golf coach)

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The difference between winning and losing is small.   The physical skills to master the game are well practiced, the data is analyzed, the numbers studied and it turns out the key factor may be the psychological attitude.   The mind.  The skills may be tweaked to maximize every opportunity but the mind can be the adversary that can’t be conquered by numbers alone.

Small changes in brain patterns can mean the difference between achieving your goal or not.    Think about your attitude when you are trying to do something important.  What  do you notice about your own internal self-talk?    Do you have a sense of excitement or a sense of dread?

Your mental framework does matter.  It matters everyday.   How you start your day and how you finish your day matters.   If you start your day with complaints, irritations (such as slow traffic),  or anxiety you’ll find that your timing if off, your words aren’t clear, your patience low and your tension high.

Find a way to shift the negative postures to positive ones.  Relax, reframe and re-engage in the world.   You’ll find that with a more positive outlook that pains will go away, tension will fade, your smile will be genuine, your word kinder and supportive and your results will be larger.

The subtle difference is in how you think and what you think.   A small change in your psychology can make the difference in the day.   Find time to be grateful in the midst of disappointment.  Find the time to say “Thank-you”.   Find the time to smile.   Find the time to say a kind word.   As you shift your attitude towards the positive so will your day shift to the positive.

Shift your brain patterns so that you are thinking and doing more positive things.   Think about the possibilities.  Think about the opportunities.  Think about making your life better.

Notice what the subtle difference can do for you here:

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”
― Ashley Smith

my career my choice

“Often people attempt to live their lives backwards, they try to have more things or more money in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are then do what you need to do in order to have what you want. ”
― Margaret Young

Career choices …

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People are desiring to look for a new job.  A recent survey by Right Management indicates that many people are dissatisfied with the work they are doing right now.   This means there is the potential for a substantial shift in what and where people work.   While the sample size is relatively small it indicates that the work and amount of work that people have to do are not matching up with what employers want their employees to do.

People who desire to look for new work in 2013

2012

2011

2010

2009

Yes, I intend to actively seek a new position.

86%

84%

84%

60%

Maybe, so I’m networking.

 8%

9%

 8%

21%

Not likely, but I’ve updated my resume.

1%

2%

 3%

 6%

No, I intend to stay in current position.

5%

5%

 5%

13%

Source Right Management

Are you one of the many who are polishing up their resume and checking out the want ads for a new position?

If you are you might want to look all around you for ways to make that career transition work for you.

1. Search for your name on Google.   What shows up?  What is your on-line reputation?  Will those who are looking for you find the “right” you on-line.   What does your Facebook account contain?  What do you tweet?   What does your linkedIn profile say about you?   Know what your on-line presence is and know how others see you.

2. Understand “who” you are.   If the job you are in right now isn’t working for your skills and needs aren’t being satisfied by the work you are doing.   Know who you are before you start your job search.   This is a dig deep process into who you are.   Take the time to know your strengths, talents and abilities before you touch up your resume and look for work that you are doing today.   Doing the same work in a different location may not be the best thing for you.

3. Create a strategy.    Have a plan.   Know what you want before you start looking for a new job.   Once you have a clear idea of what you want to do, research job positions that align with your purpose.   What skills are required?  What training is needed?    If you need to develop skills make that part of your plan to get the skills needed to transfer to a new role or career.

4. Tune your resume to match the job  you are looking for.   Often people take adjust their work to match who they are.   That is even given a role with a certain set of expectations they will slowly change the job to match who they are, and do what they like rather than do what is expected.   If you find yourself changing what your role is in your job then you might be in the wrong job.    Do what you like doing and find the job that allows you to do that.   Fighting your way through each day is an indication that you may not fit the job you were hired to do.

5. Adjust.   Looking for a new job is one of adjustments and tuning.  Be willing to make small changes in your resume to match job descriptions and needs.   Be willing to adjust where you are looking and how you are looking.   Find out what is getting you results and what isn’t.

Prepare – Plan – Succeed.

Listen to a TED talk about Careers and jobs.