Category Archives: ego

how do you deceive yourself

“Seldom, very seldom, does complete truth belong to any human disclosure; seldom can it happen that something is not a little disguised or a little mistaken.”
― Jane Austen

What do you believe about yourself?   What is your real truth?   Below is a video about people who describe themselves in one way and others describe that same person in another.   How we think of ourselves matters.

How we see ourselves impacts our ability to be our best.    Our best may be exaggerated a bit, more positive or more handsome or beautiful.   We want to believe we are somewhat better than we really are because it pushes us in some way to be that person.   If we believe we are more negative than we really are we don’t believe we can do the things we could otherwise.

We deceive ourselves for a number of reasons.  If we believe in that deception does it help us live a better life?

What do you think of yourself?   Who do you think you really are?   Are you the person you want to be?   Are you the person that others see?   What is your answer?

 

choosing to become

“I am not what happened to me.
I am what I chose to become.”

~ Carl Jung

SG_Walking

The mindset of many in today’s culture is that things happen to them, things that are out of their control,  that lead to bad outcomes.   No matter what is happening in their life all some people experience is the worst of life.   How we experience life is a choice.  We have the choice to make the most of a bad day or let the bad day make the least out of us.

Being a victim of external events removes power from anyone.   Choosing to be caught in arguments, conflict, or negative situations without stepping back and pausing to see if the issue is that important puts us in a negative mental position. You can detect victim behavior by their language and how they blame others or the situation they are in for their attitude, how they can’t get things done or how bad they feel.    Being a victim is a choice.

The other side of choice is driven by an attitude that says,  “I take responsibility for my life and how I feel.”   The person who desires to use the language of positivity will experience greater happiness and success.   Those that choose to be grateful and positive will see better outcomes than those who believe that everything that goes wrong is an insult to them.

Learning how to become the person you want to be is a choice.  Being the best you can be is something you can take charge of.   If you know of someone who is always in the mode of a victim, who can’t seem to find positive outcomes in their life they may be a great candidate for coaching.     Have them contact me at dan@danweigold.com for a free coaching consultation.  Find out how you or someone you know can move from “poor me” to “powerful me”.   It is your choice.
Are you happier?

a moment of inspiration

Sometimes it takes a moment to inspiration to change a day.   What do you want to do with your day?

It takes just a few minutes to be a hero, to act courageously and make a difference.

What difference do you want to make today? 

“All progress has resulted from people who took unpopular positions.”
Adlai E. Stevenson

Inner talk … the little voice

Have you ever wondered if that little voice that speaks to you continuously really wants you to be happy?    What would that voice say if you changed course today and did something different?   What would that voice say?

Successful people, really successful people, have trained their inner voice to support them.   Olympic athlete’s work with performance coaches to shift those inner thoughts to “winning” thoughts.  

The inner voice is different than intuition.   Intuition is a connecting force, connecting heart with head, and energy with energy.   It connects through feelings and sensing rather than by internal conversation.  

This poem written by Shel Silverstein talks about:

“The voice”

There is a voice inside of you
That whispers all day long,
“I feel this is right for me,
I know that this is wrong.”
No teacher, preacher, parent, friend
Or wise man can decide
What’s right for you–just listen to
The voice that speaks inside.”
  Shel Silverstein

This inner voice is the voice that shackles us to the past quite often.  It says, “Be safe” and will do just about anything it can to prevent risk, prevent harm or prevent change.    The brain is wily in its ways.   It has been trained by real voices outside the mind that shape and configure just how the inner voice will speak.   When you hear words that say “No, you aren’t good enough” or “You’ve failed before what has changed this time …”, or “You’ve never been good at that …”, any of those words are conditioned words, meaning that you’ve taken on those words and applied them to “who” you are.

What would it be like to hear the words of a voice that says, “Of course you can”, “Let’s do it today”, “You are good enough”, “You are beautiful”,
“You are amazing”, “You can do it”.    That voice is alive in your mind if it gets the chance to exercise.    Like our bodies it is what we practice and if we practice negative thinking we become those negative thoughts.   

“If you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got.”  W. L. Bateman

So, why not shift the words of that little voice.    Shift them towards words that are encouraging to you.   Words that will allow you to take a risk and make a change, a substantial change in the direction of your dream.

What would stop you from making that change?

I AM

It’s about me. The “I am” blocks many people from achieving the results they desire most in life. When the focus of everything in life revolves the “I” in am then the life that the “I” wants doesn’t become available.

The “it’s about me” syndrome reveals itself in all kinds of conflict. Conflict at work can often be seen as being part of the “it’s about me” malady. Think about it for a minute, how many dysfunctional managers do you know of? In a recent report there is about one in four people who are suffering from mental illness and that means there are leaders in top organizations hiding behind a mask of dysfunction.

What does a person who is overly concerned with “It’s about ME” do when things get tough? They focus on their needs to such a degree that they become less effective or ineffective in managing their group or part of the organization.

What needs to change to increase organizational function?  Eliminate the fear. Get the dysfunction out by working with those individuals so that they can maintain their dignity and move out of dysfunction to high function.

What ideas do you have?

“About eighty to ninety per cent of the population must be rated about as high in ego-security as the most secure individuals in our society, who comprise perhaps five or ten per cent at most. “ Abraham Maslow