Category Archives: personal success

overcoming resistance

“Be of good cheer. Do not think of today’s failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost.”
― Helen Keller

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What are you resisting doing?   It may be as simple as getting out of bed in the morning and resisting starting the day.   You can tell you are resisting taking action on something when you do something else instead of the “one” thing you have on your “I should do list”.   You’ll think about starting doing something and then you’ll do something else, something that is more pleasing.  You’ve been there haven’t you?

Write down a list of things you resist doing.    For each item on that list write down what your feelings about those tasks.   What do you feel (anger, depressed, tired, anxious, …)?

Now, for each item you expressed a feeling for, probably a negative feeling, then ask yourself,

Step a.    “Could I accept this feeling of ____________”.
Step b.   “Could I release this feeling of ____________”.   (Release is to let it go)
Step c.  “Would I release this feeling of ____________”.
Step d.  “When will I release the feeling”.

Ask yourself those questions and go through them.   If you can’t let it go the first time go back and repeat those questions again.

Basically you are giving yourself permission to release the resistance.  Once you have let it go the resistance to completing the task will start lowering.  Tackle the task and get the result you want to get.

Practice those steps and see if you can reduce your reluctance to start and complete things you don’t like to do.

Here’s another approach to overcoming resistance.   Try one.

how do you want to be remembered?

“Laugh, even when you feel too sick or too worn out or tired.
Smile, even when you’re trying not to cry and the tears are blurring your vision.
Sing, even when people stare at you and tell you your voice is crappy.
Trust, even when your heart begs you not to.
Twirl, even when your mind makes no sense of what you see.
Frolick, even when you are made fun of. Kiss, even when others are watching. Sleep, even when you’re afraid of what the dreams might bring.
Run, even when it feels like you can’t run any more.
And, always, remember, even when the memories pinch your heart. Because the pain of all your experience is what makes you the person you are now. And without your experience—you are an empty page, a blank notebook, a missing lyric. What makes you brave is your willingness to live through your terrible life and hold your head up high the next day. So don’t live life in fear. Because you are stronger now, after all the crap has happened, than you ever were back before it started.”
― Alysha Speer

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One of life’s great questions is:  “What do you want to be remembered for?”

What will your life story mean?  What fingerprint will you have left on this world?  What difference will you have made?

If your inner voice is filled with complaint, blame, anger, dissatisfaction or disappointment then create a new path for your life.   Start living your life by giving to the world you live in your genius, your spark, your creativity, your ideas or your time.   Give to the world and the world will give back to you, perhaps not in the currency you anticipate but in ways that will reward you far greater than you can imagine.

Here’s the  challenge.  What can you do to make a difference in this world?

What will your masterpiece be?   What will your shining moment be?  What will your Mt. Everest event be?   Describe your work of the art to the world.  Write it down and give it life.

How do you want to be remembered?   What do you want to be remembered for?

step into the fear and do it anyway

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
Frank Herbert

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Then end of the year is approaching quickly, what changes have you made this past year that you planned on making at the beginning of the year.   Did you live your year the same way you started it?   Perhaps you started with big goals and those slowly melted away and the year suddenly disappeared.

Often times what I hear is, “I’ll start tomorrow”, “I’ll start losing weight”, “I’ll start looking for a better job”, “I’ll start going to school”, “I’ll start _________ tomorrow”.   Tomorrow never gets here, it is always a day away. The delay becomes a story, a story about what might happen when.   There is another story that is playing at the same time.  The story of fear, the story of delaying until the threshold of fear can be breached.

You’ve heard that story, most everyone has at some point in their lives.  It is a disabling story that results in living the way that is the same as it was yesterday.   You will live your next year the same way you are living today unless you take the steps to transform your life.

The question to ask, “is the dream worth it to me?”   Is that dream of yours important.  Is losing weight really important to you?  Is finding a career worthy of you worth it to you?  Is starting a new business really that important for you?  Is taking that special vacation really that important to you?

What would make you feel more alive?  What would feeling alive look like to you?

As Mandela put it: “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

push your limits

“A true master will not deceive an able disciple. You are hampered by the limits you set and no limit can be set on skill.”
― Wayne Gerard Trotman

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What are your limits?   Review these ten ideas and rate them from 1 to 10 in how you use them in your life.   How close are you to living at your limits?

1. Hunger and Drive.   Do you have some strong compelling desire or hunger to accomplish or do something?

2. Vision.   What is  your vision for the future?   Does your family have a vision?  A vision is a statement that you create that helps you define a direction for your life.  What is yours?

3. Certainty.  What is the level of stability in your life?   What are you certain of?

4. Passion and feeling alive.   Are you passionate about something?   Is there an issue or topic that concerns you and drives you to do something?

5. Care and connection.   Do you have someone you care about?   Are you connected to others?

6. Unreasonable expectations.  Do you have goals that stretch what you’ve done before.

7. Courage.  Are you willing to take a risk and act on what you believe.

8. Faith.  Acting in the direction of what is possible.

9. Flexibility.  The ability to adapt to changing conditions.

10. Authenticity.   Are you really being who you are?

Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10.  (1, Not even close to fully realizing my potential. 10, Fully realizing my potential)

What areas do you want to improve in?  What steps will you take to improve in those areas?   What would the benefits be to  you for make that improvement?

what successful people do

“It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.”
― Leonardo da Vinci

 

 

Which one are you?

secrets of super-performers …

“Temperamentally anxious people can have a hard time staying motivated, period, because their intense focus on their worries distracts them from their goals.”
― Winifred Gallagher

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Are you a super-performer?   Do you want to be one of those who is able to do more, live more and experience more than others?

So what do these super-performers do that makes such a difference?   One thing they do is capture an idea and with intense focus that they that idea and do something with it.   Most people have an idea and think it is great and then do nothing with the idea, other than say, “I had a great idea …”.   The high performers do something with ideas.  They take a risk.  They focus and they execute.

What else does a super-performer do?   They enable their genius.   Everyone has the ability to be a genius and yet only a few enable that genius in them.   Instead of expecting instant results genius thinking involves time and focus.   Putting both time and energy into one idea equals genius.   This isn’t about having a high-IQ, it is about doing something with what you have.   Think of those who have had startling breakthroughs in their lives, what really was different.   They maniacally pushed through those that said, “you can’t do that.”, and did it.   They took their dream and pursued it.    They didn’t give up.

You knew that didn’t you.   Did you know that super-achievers spent time with the thought leaders they wanted to emulate?   Top performers spent time with those they wanted to be like.     They raised the bar of their own thinking by learning how those who have achieved great things thought.    In a sense our beliefs and actions are limited by those we associate with.  As we raise the bar, we raise the bar for those who surround us.    That isn’t as easy to do as the others, and that is one of the key differences between average performance and super performance.

Here’s a story of a peak performance.    What did you notice about the story?

choosing to become

“I am not what happened to me.
I am what I chose to become.”

~ Carl Jung

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The mindset of many in today’s culture is that things happen to them, things that are out of their control,  that lead to bad outcomes.   No matter what is happening in their life all some people experience is the worst of life.   How we experience life is a choice.  We have the choice to make the most of a bad day or let the bad day make the least out of us.

Being a victim of external events removes power from anyone.   Choosing to be caught in arguments, conflict, or negative situations without stepping back and pausing to see if the issue is that important puts us in a negative mental position. You can detect victim behavior by their language and how they blame others or the situation they are in for their attitude, how they can’t get things done or how bad they feel.    Being a victim is a choice.

The other side of choice is driven by an attitude that says,  “I take responsibility for my life and how I feel.”   The person who desires to use the language of positivity will experience greater happiness and success.   Those that choose to be grateful and positive will see better outcomes than those who believe that everything that goes wrong is an insult to them.

Learning how to become the person you want to be is a choice.  Being the best you can be is something you can take charge of.   If you know of someone who is always in the mode of a victim, who can’t seem to find positive outcomes in their life they may be a great candidate for coaching.     Have them contact me at dan@danweigold.com for a free coaching consultation.  Find out how you or someone you know can move from “poor me” to “powerful me”.   It is your choice.
Are you happier?