Category Archives: Positive thinking

Questions – to ask or not to ask

The door to learning is opened by curiosity.   Curiosity is awakened by the use of questions that probe for understanding.

What is the bee seeking?  Why  is the bee curiously hovering over the flower?

Our brains want to solve problems and if we frame the question the right way we build up a reservoir of optimism, positivity and hope.   If we frame our questions in a negative manner we ultimately undermine who we are and the world starts to crumble in front of us.

Our questions are formed by habit.  That is we don’t think about the kinds of questions we ask, we frame the questions based on our view of the world.   What is happening to me?  or How can I make today better?

Think about the questions you ask?   Are they the kinds of questions that build you up or tear you down?   What is your internal dialog like?   What do you say to yourself?   What questions are you asking yourself? Take a look at the following video clip.

How can you shift your questions?

What benefits do you think you’ll get by looking at your questions differently?

What steps will you take today to ask more powerful questions?

relief

“How we perceive a situation and how we react to it is the basis of our stress. If you focus on the negative in any situation, you can expect high stress levels. However, if you try and see the good in the situation, your stress levels will greatly diminish.” Catherine Pulsifer

It’s a job, it’s barely a job and every morning getting the foot on the floor is more and more difficult.   It’s a life, it’s barely a life and every day it seems that the bills grow larger and larger.   It’s a relationship, it’s barely a relationship with more and more time spent in arguing about each other’s faults and failures.  It’s a diet, it’s barely a diet that works, that is helpful in losing weight.   It’s motivation, it barely the motivation that is needed to improve all the things that are going wrong in life.

There are many people looking for some sort of relief, a way to get through the day, to get through the moment and to feel like there is some purpose and meaning in life.    For many people it is a struggle to stay focused and get something done, there is no relief in their life, just the constant struggle to make it through the day.

What if there was a way to get relief but a way to get more out of life so that everyday is purpose filled and engaging?  What would it be like to feel alive everyday?  What would it be like?

In many cases it is the way we think about life that makes it a struggle.  The difference between an optimistic look at life and a pessimistic look at life is the difference between happiness and despair.     Relief comes when we start looking at life in a new way.

Here are three ways to find relief.

1. Meditate.   Studies show that meditation is reducing stress,  improving happiness and yielding better results in school.

2. Resilience.   People who are able to bounce back from unfortunate circumstances get relief faster.   Increasing positive to negative thoughts ratio increases resilience.

3. Mindfulness.  Focus on creating positive thoughts that break the cycle of negative thinking.

When we shift our mental picture of what is happening to us at any given time from negative to positive we enjoy greater relief.  Moving from worry to opportunity creates a sense of excitement and wonder in our lives.  Ingesting positive thoughts improves our mood and ability to bounce back from bad things in our life.

Where do you need relief?   What can you do today to generate positive thoughts?   What do you really want to be different in your life?

Relief is available to you when you meditate, bounce back and are mindful of what can be done rather than focusing on what has happened.   Relieve your mind of the burden of negative thinking and you will experience relief.

just words

“Words do two major things: They provide food for the mind and create light for understanding and awareness.”  Jim Rohn
 

Words take you on journeys to distant lands.  Words can create dreams that illuminate a path, a path where the choices you make bring light to your future.   For some people words condemn and hold them to the past, a nightmarish recollection of what once was.

Words that turn off the creative senses  leave the mind as a vast dry desert.
Words that churn in place in the mind  grate at the soul and produce worry, anxiety, and even panic.   Words, just words, just mixed up words and feelings that form chains that hold you back from realizing something better.

,p>Those words that collide with your heart, what are they saying?    What is it that the words are trying to do?   What words are you filling your mind with?    Are you filling your mind with the words of hope, experience, confidence, wisdom and beauty?
Many people fill their minds with words that say ,”No you can’t”, “Who are you to be that?”,  “You aren’t good enough?”,  “Don’t even try that”, or “You’ll just fail again.”     What are you filling your mind with?

Now how about putting some of these words to use in your daily life.

Alive, Beaming,Complete,Courageous,Cultivate,Cure,Dazzling,Divine,Effortless  Energized,Energy,Enthusiastic,Fit,Flourish,Freedom,Full,Glow,Grin,Healed Healing,Healthy,Heart,Light,Live,Miracle,Motivate,Nourish,Perfect,Present Refresh,Rejuvenate,Relax,Renew,Restore,Robust,Serenity,Shine,Sustain Thrive,Transformation,Upbeat,Vibrant,Well,Whole

Acknowledge someone.
Affirm someone.
Thank someone.
Smile at someone.
Use your words to build up yourself and others.

“When true self-remembering comes, one does not want to alter oneself, or others; one somehow rises above their weaknesses and one’s own. There can be no blame anywhere. One swallows what is, and becomes free.”
Rodney Collin

Taking control of fear

“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.”  Rosa Parks

Fear can either paralyze or motivate a person.    In the face of danger some people are unable to make a move and others of course run and run fast.  Why is that?   Why do people choke when the pressure of the moment suddenly increases?

Small business owners can be paralyzed by the lack of orders and business.   What once worked no longer works and instead of breaking through and developing some new ideas they freeze up and wonder what is happening.  Analysis paralysis is often the term used for wallowing in indecision and inaction.

For many people and businesses when the pressure is ratcheted up there is a tendency to pull back and withdraw which is just opposite of what should take place.     When you are facing some difficulty in your life the experts recommend:

1. Work with someone, find someone who you can partner with and share your difficulties with.   For businesses or individuals  it might mean getting a coach so that there is a new viewpoint to consider.

2. Focus – as the pressure increases it is easy to try to do too many different things.    Regain focus on the desired outcome.   What will get you there?  Staying focused on “the” goal and choosing actions that will get you to the goal is certainly one of the keys for success.

3. Be optimistic – it is too easy to slip into pessimism, worry and self-doubt and those three words, pessimism, worry and self-doubt can take your from the edge of success to the brink of defeat.   Those who are able to push forward and stay optimistic have a better chance of achieving the goal.

4. Cultivate new ideas – Use your imagination to find new ways to solve the difficult problems.  The old way of doing things may just be that, “the old way” and today it takes out of the box thinking.

In the September issue of Success Magazine a quick poll revealed that when people are challenged they tend to do these things:

38% develop an action plan
23% handle it on their own
17% Seek expert advice,  finding a coach or mentor
16% Ask help from friends
6% Avoid the issue (this is running away)

What do you do when you face fear?   Run or take action.

“You have within you more resources of energy than have ever been tapped, more talent than has ever been exploited.  More strength than has ever been tested.  And more to give than you have ever been given.”   John Gardener

when will the pain go away …

“Pain can be endured and defeated only if it is embraced.  Denied or feared, it grows. ”  Dean Koontz,  Velocity

Pain can be endured, denied it grows.   So many people are enduring pain and it grows each day and life seems to be all about managing pain rather than living with happiness.   Some people only see pain and nothing much else.

Not long ago I had a conversation with a person who believed the world was totally against her.   Her friends weren’t being friends.   Her life was in shambles and everything looked hopeless.   There was no energy to change.  Misery felt like a safe place because the thought of change was even more miserable.   “What if I failed again”, might be the words that would be uttered.   “Who cares about me?” and “There is nothing for me here?” .

What is your world like?   What are you experiencing?   Are you looking at the world in a  hopeful positive way or is it a world that seems to be pushing in on your very being with relentless pressure.

Emotional pain is something everyone faces and it is a matter of  how that pain is dealt with that makes a difference.

Emotional pain can be seen in all facets of daily life, anger, violence, withdrawal, grief, sadness and living as a victim.

One of the tools for addressing emotional pain is EFT or Emotional Freedom Techniques.   This is a simple, no cost method, of reducing or eliminating emotional suffering.   The method works with a variety of emotional issues.   It works for most people.  Those with severe emotional trauma the recommendation is to seek professional guidance before trying EFT.    EFT is something to look at if you have been dealing with emotional issues for a long time.

For parents with children with ADHD, EFT may offer a simple quick way of managing the ADHD symptoms.   While EFT isn’t a cure for ADHD it may prove effective when many other forms of ADHD management haven’t.

Where would you rate the emotional pain level in your life on scale of 1 – 10, 1 = none or very little to 10 = extreme?    If you are experiencing emotional pain above a 6 you may want to seek some help.   At the minimum consult with a professional and see if there are some techniques that will help you reduce your emotional burden.

How have you managed emotional pain?

 

 

 

going confidently

“The kind of commitment I find among the best performers across virtually every field is a single-minded passion for what they do,
an unwavering desire for excellence  in the way they think and the way they work.  Genuine confidence is what launches you out of bed in the morning,
and through your day with a spring in your step.” Jim Collins

CONFIDENCE

The lack of confidence may be the number one roadblock for achieving the success you desire.   Sometimes it feels like a lack of motivation, lack of energy or a lack of desire, but digging a bit deeper it turns out there is usually a lack of confidence that is stopping success.

Lack of personal confidence may look like:

1. I am not good enough
2. I am not loved
3. My job is terrible
4. I weigh too much
5. My life is a mess
6. I should get organized
7. I need to exercise
8. Everyone hates me

The lack of confidence shows up most often as victim talk.  What is being said is often filled with “should”, “ought”, “need”, “have to”,”not”, “can’t”,”could”, “would”, or words that point back to another source outside of you.

A victim is controlled by the environment, a confident person controls the environment with their actions and words.

Some people are more susceptible to creating an internal world that doesn’t allow them to feel confident.   People with ADHD/ADD tend to see themselves in a negative light.   People who have received very little positive feedback feel that they are not “good enough”.   People who have lived in abusive situations, especially where they thought they were the cause of the abuse think less of themselves.

In most cases the lack of confidence isn’t true for the individual.  Thomas Edison fought through failure after failure before he reached the formula that led to a light bulb  that worked well.    Abraham Lincoln faced many setbacks in his career and yet he pushed forward always picking himself up after each defeat.  Confidence.

Of course if it was easy to go from unconfident to confident in 15 minutes everyone would be very confident.    Self-help books have all the information for someone who desires to become more confident achieve results yet less than 3% of people make lasting change through self-help books.  One reason for that is it takes more than words in a book to affect change.    It takes a sincere desire and a plan that includes some level of weekly accountability.

Lack of confidence isn’t about ability.  Most people are capable and able but they don’t believe that they are capable and everything they hear from others confirms to them they aren’t able.   This is the case of seeing what we are looking for(negative confirmation) and instead of seeing what we have accomplished we focus on what we haven’t been able to do.   If we make two steps forward and slip back one we conclude that we are a failure.   Is that really the case?

Take any high level athlete and watch them perform, they make the sport that they are in look easy.   What we don’t see is the many failures, the many times that they have  fallen and picked themselves up and continued on.

What can you do to build confidence?

1. Think positively about yourself
2. Take charge of your emotions (own them)
3. Believe you are capable
4. Practice, get up and practice some more.
5. Encourage someone (build others up)
6. Be aware of your emotions
7. Take compliments and be thankful for them
8.  Take criticisms and learn from them (what is it really about?)

In many cases it is the lack of confidence that inhibits people from taking the very actions they desire.   Make today the day that you will push through the barriers.

Henry Thoreau said, Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”, so why not start now.   Start taking the actions you need to take to move towards your dreams.

 

If you struggle with being accountable and achieving the goals you desire perhaps having a coach would help you reach your intended goal.

Make today the day you will go confidently into your world.

at the crack of dawn

Welcome every morning with a smile. Look on the new day as another special gift from your Creator, another golden opportunity to complete what you were unable to finish yesterday. Be a self-starter. Let your first hour set the theme of success and positive action that is certain to echo through your entire day. Today will never happen again. Don’t waste it with a false start or no start at all. You were not born to fail.”    Og Mandino

Sometimes the early morning comes to early for some.   Early on May 11th a program aired that gave the viewers some insight into the power of coaching and how coaching can transform the way people interact with the world.  

Coaching is transforming businesses so they are more efficient and effective.    With coaching employees are more engaged and more productive.

Individuals that receive coaching start to make great progress towards the achievement of their goals.   Coaching provides the accountability people need especially in the world we live in today where change is happening at breakneck speed and getting faster.     Coaching clients can learn how to manage stress, reduce anger and understand what triggers their emotions and coaching can help people live a more positive and inspired life.

People with ADD/ADHD can learn coping skills that will allow them to perform at much higher levels.   Overall coaching is a process that can make a great impact in all areas of life.

Find out what coaching can do for you.