Tag Archives: authentic living

in the pursuit of meaning

“What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.”
― Jane Goodall

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Pursuit of meaning is like …

What makes you life a life you want to live?   What are you doing, seeing, feeling, touching and tasting that is making your life exciting, interesting, and valuable?  When those questions are asked many people don’t have a good answer to the question.

What makes you life a life you want to live?   What are you doing, seeing, feeling, touching and tasting that is making your life exciting, interesting, and valuable?  When those questions are asked many people don’t have a good answer to the question.

Too often people retreat from life making a variety of claims that suggest that they are victims of their work, the relationships, their health, their finances and the world, that life is against them and the opportunity to live fully, expressively and with a sense of aliveness that is exciting is not available to them.

At the beginning of your day and at the end of the day how much positive energy do you have?   Are you excited about what the new day will bring and are you feeling like you made a difference at the end of the day?   Are you feeling strong, vibrant and alive or are you feeling down, depressed and hopeless?  You might even be somewhere in between the extremes of full participation and being fully checked out.

What would it feel like to know that what you did today matters and to believe that what you do will matter?  What you do does matter.   The biggest change you can make is a decision that says every day I’ll do my best to be authentic and passionate about all that I do.  Now, it doesn’t mean that bad days will just go extinct, it means that you’ll acknowledge the bad days and step back and reflect on what the issues are and do something about them.   Complaining to others, or just feeling down doesn’t solve the problem or problems you are dealing with.  Sure, it might feel good to complain once in a while but if complaining is chronic then you have a choice to make.   Do you drag down others around you or do you lift them up?   Be the later.

Where does this all lead?   It leads to living a life of meaning and chasing the most important things that really matter to you.  If you decide to pursue meaning in all that you do you’ll find that life becomes much more robust, it becomes more joyful, it means you feel more alive and it means that you are living life with purpose and on purpose.   What would that feel like?

break free from the ego

“The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, person and family history, belief systems, and often nationalistic, racial, religious, and other collective identifications. None of these is you.”
― Eckhart Tolle

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It was holding him back from being the person he wanted to be.   He wanted more and knew that he had it within to do more and at the end of the day little got done.   The ego held his hand back from making a call, from finishing the last touches on a piece of work, and from realizing his dreams.

I’ve heard from many people the story of wanting more and doing less.   The ego always stepped in fear filled and delayed action.   Procrastination is a sign of an ego that is not pleased with past results.  Perfectionism always says it isn’t good enough.   The ego fears rejection and would rather see things delayed or not getting done at all seeped in a belief that it wouldn’t be good enough.

Courage is the antidote to inaction.   The courage to take action, to push against the ego and see beyond the fear is what will open the door to freedom.    The “ego” that is pushed beyond its own fear will be able to grow.  With growth there are opportunities that were hidden.   The abundant life is behind the door that is being blocked by the ego.

For most people pushing the ego aside so that they can confront their fears is hard to do, it doesn’t happen easily.   Believing that you don’t have what you need to be successful is to believe in the voice of the ego.  Believing that you have what you need now to do what needs to be done is the first step to living an authentic life.

What is the ego saying to you?

What is preventing you from living life fully?

What is stopping you from living out your dreams?

Listen to yourself.  What are the feelings that show up when you read those questions?   What is the truth about you?

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”   Anais Nin

make it happen …

Are you living the life you thought you’d be living now?   Did you imagine things turning out differently?   What changed?

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If you find that your life isn’t going in the direction you would like it go, then what do you want to be doing differently?   What I have found is that life without direction is often due to the fact there is no plan, there are no goals, and without goals and a plan life just tends to happen.

What do you want from your career?

What do you want to contribute?

What are your own personal development goals?

Where do you see yourself in ten years?   Or, where do you want to see yourself in ten years?

Imagine the life you want to live.  Write down that story and use that story to guide you to a better and happier future.   Once you have the story written down, set some goals and assign a date to those goals and then start working to achieve those goals.   See what you can do this year to grow, learn and to experience a better life.  Start today!

a return to self

“We mustn’t let our dreams die in the daylight because we lose focus while responding to the world’s lame interests or false emergencies.”  — Brendon Burchard

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Have you noticed how much time you spend attending to the demands of others while letting go of the string that your dreams are attached to.   You may be doing work that is not your best work, or you may be working for someone who is a tyrant or you may be abused by words or actions of others and you retreat from being truly who you are.

A return to self isn’t about being selfish it is about being authentic and living the life you were designed to live.   Your gifts, talents and strengths were meant to be used and not hidden from the world and too often it is the case that your best talents are not put to their best use.

Too many people have had their dreams crushed by others who were in full pursuit of their own interests.  You might be one of those people who have worked for a bully or someone who didn’t want to help you be your best.  You may be doing work because it was what someone else wanted for you and you wanted to please them.  You may have given up your dreams so that someone else could achieve theirs.   What happened when you did that?   What did you lose?

What are your strengths?

What are your dreams?

What are you giving up to live the life you are now living?

What would it take for you to start using your strengths and to start moving towards your dreams?   A return to self would allow you to be your best self and to allow you to make your best contribution.   What do you think?

what’s your problem?

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
Haruki Murakami

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Yes, you do have a problem.   The problem is being authentic and not pretending to be someone you are not.   It happens at work, it happens at home, it happens almost everywhere you go.   Being authentic, being who you really are is difficult to do when you are trying to meet the expectations of others. The lack of authenticity shows up at work as doing what you don’t really want to do and doing it because you have to.   It rubs against the very nature of who you are and slowly you change the work to match your strengths.

Personal relationships can be ruined by the lack of authenticity as well.  Marriages will fail if the partners hide behind inauthentic behaviors.   Saying one thing and doing another or pretending to be a person you are not just to prevent loneliness creates a new set of problems that will need to be dealt with. It takes courage to be authentic and reveal the real issues that one faces to others.

For those who can be authentic is the reward of freedom and happiness.  The amount of work that it requires to hide from your own reality creates a great deal of internal stress and unhappiness.   Fear keeps people from being authentic and fear is what creates the masks of deception.

So, what are your problems?  What masks are you hiding behind?  What is it costing you?

 

living with authenticity

“Often misconstrued, authenticity is not about being an open book, revealing every detail of yourself without rhyme or reason. It is simply the act of openly and courageously seeing what needs to be seen, saying what needs to be said, doing what needs to be done, and becoming that which you are intent on being.”
― Scott Edmund Miller

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What does it mean to be authentic?

Just answer that question.  What would need to change in order for you to be fully authentic?   Being authentic means being honest with your talents, your strengths, your weaknesses and your assessment of yourself.   Too often people focus on what they think is wrong with them to such a degree that they hide their strengths and abilities.    Give yourself some time to do an assessment and find out what your authenticity score is.  In fact take this assessment (Authenticity Assessment) and see how you are doing with your own personal authenticity.

Why be authentic?

What happens when you pretend to be someone you’re not?   It usually results in an intense personal conflict that shows up in how you work with others, your quality of relationships, your career success and happiness and just about every other area of your life.   People don’t want to be fakes and feel like they have to be fake in order for others to like them and inside they feel like something is really missing.

Living authentically means revealing your true self to the world around you.   It means peeling away the layers that have been built over time to protect the ego.  The authentic you can become the happy you.

What would happen if you could really enjoy the relationships you have with others and restore broken relationships from the past.  How would that feel?

How would it feel to get the job that really matches your abilities and the way you want to work?   For most people it would be a huge relief to do work that had meaning and made a real difference.

Go ahead, take the assessment and evaluate where you are.   What do you want to change?  Take the (Authenticity Assessment) today, it will just a few minutes.

 

living authentically?

“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”   M. Scott Peck

Live in your authentic self.

What does it mean to live your life authentically?   What would it take to live the life you were designed to live?

Authentic:  Not false – genuine.  Not a copy, an original.

Being authentic should mean being the person that you were truly meant to be, not a copy, not being false, but being genuine in all ways.   People who are able to be authentic (true with themselves and others) can live a happier life.   

One a scale of 1 – 10 (1 = Never, 10 = Always)

1. I am able to be authentic with myself.

2. I am able to be authentic at work.

3. I am able to be authentic at home.

4. I am able to be authentic in my relationships.

5. I am able to be authentic with my finances.

6. I am able to be authentic with my friends.

7. I am able to be authentic with my spirituality.

8. I am able to be authentic with my health.

9. I am able to be authentic with my personal growth.

10.  I am able to be authentic with those I don’t know well.

What what was your score?

A score about 80 would indicate a high level of authenticity.

A score of 60 – 79 would indicate pockets of inauthentic living.

A score below 60 may indicate that you are having difficulty being honest with yourself.

What would you like your life to be like?   What would it take to live an authentic life?

If you don’t know the answers to how you are living an authentic life, create a score card.

The authenticity meter (fill out the chart for a week and see where you think you are):

 

 After a week of writing down your scores in each of those areas, what did you notice?    Do you scores stay the same or are they changing?   What would cause the score to change?

What are you realizing about yourself?

What would you like to change?

Change begins when you understand what it is that needs changing.   Measuring yourself honestly is one way to gage what you desire to change and perhaps seeing yourself in the light you truly are will help you make the lasting changes you desire to make.

“Seek out that particular mental attribute which makes you feel most deeply and vitally alive, along with which comes the inner voice which says, ‘This is the real me,’ and when you have found that attitude, follow it. ”
William James