Tag Archives: bullying

leave people better off than you found them …

“And that’s really the secret to everything, isn’t it?  To be fearless, to go out and try and grab life, no matter what it is, and not wait for good things to wander into the kitchen through the cat door.”
Jason Gay  – Wall Street Journal July 22,2013

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Another secret to life is helping others become more of who they really could be.  The secret is leaving another person better off than when you first met them or interacted with them.   Imagine what would happen if companies worked in that same manner.  What would happen if every manager, every employee, every “C” level executive increased the value of everyone they interacted with?   Companies would go beyond great.

Far too many businesses, organizations or entities  are filled  with people who trampled on rather than being built up.   People are  more like a resource, a mineral deposit in which we extract or exploit the value of that resource until it is gone, until there is nothing left, and then we move on.   Recently I encountered a person who did the right thing in their job and then the managers  in the organization decided to make life miserable for the employee so that the individual would choose leaving.    The one act of courage to do the right thing was dismissed and instead of building up the person they were torn down.

This is an appeal to leaders everywhere, what are you doing to add value to the lives of others?   Are you leaving them better off than you when you first met them or interacted with them?

Make that an exercise for today, improve the value of the people you meet and interact with.   Then repeat each day.

How?

1. Say thank-you, genuinely and authentically
2. Let them make a mistake and ask them what they learned
3. Give them more responsibility, show that you trust them.
4. Be open to their words – Listen.

What else can you think of that would add value to those you interact with?

What is stopping you?

when leaders fail to lead

“I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize. The first is gentleness; the second is frugality; the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others. Be gentle and you can be bold; be frugal and you can be liberal; avoid putting yourself before others and you can become a leader among men.”
― Lao Tzu

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Maybe you’ve seen it before, a callous remark by someone who has a role of leadership that says, “I’m more important than you!”.   Maybe you’ve felt those sentiments and asked yourself, “is this the place I want to work at.”   High performance organizations know how to engage the staff and find ways to inspire   their staff so they can excel, does yours?

What kind of organization do you work at?   What do the leaders say to you?  How to they encourage you to be your best?  How do you they encourage you to learn?

There is a distinct difference between leadership and management.  Managing is about getting specific results and in older models people used command and control to get those results.   Today work is far less about being told what to do, and rather more about inspiring people to commit their best.   Some leaders haven’t figured that out yet and believe that leadership is about controlling others.

Companies that enjoy great success often are led by people who inspire and engage all the staff in the company.    Effective leadership is often driven by engaging the positive emotions of the people that are being led.    Positive emotions can be leveraged to create the opportunity for desired change.

When was the last time you spoke with a leader in your organization where you were encouraged to excel?

What does leadership look like in your organization?

Examine your answers.  Determine what kind of organization you work for and what type of leadership is being exhibited.   Observe your emotions over the course of a day, or a week.  What sensations do you have?   How do you feel when you get home?   Energized, drained, indifferent?

One example of a company that is well led is Trilogy Health Care Services.  Take a look at their mission and vision.

In this video clip learn what Bob Davis has to say about leadership and what it takes to lead authentically.

 

being alone with ADHD

“Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her: but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game.”  Voltaire

There seems to be a theme that runs through the lives of those with ADHD and that is a loss of self-esteem.    Over time people with ADHD start losing their ability to believe in themselves and that leads to a sense of being alone and loneliness.

Perhaps it starts in the first days of the education process.   A child with ADHD  (even if they don’t know it at the time) will over time be labeled as different either by the teacher or by their peers.    For a child the small differences, a little less acceptance and pretty soon a distance is created, a gap, few friends and a shrinking view of self.   Some children with ADHD experience higher amounts of bullying and spend more time in isolation.

The story doesn’t stop at the end of grade school or college, it follows the person with ADHD around.   For many it is a story of not being good enough and continually having to prove oneself.   It may be more difficult for some people with ADHD to make friends, lasting relationships and strong relationships because of the stigma that they carry.

If you have ADHD what have you noticed about friendships, isolation and loneliness?   What has your life been like?

If you are experiencing loneliness due to ADHD then one of the recommendations is joining or creating a support group.  You are not alone if you have ADHD and don’t feel connected.

What do you do to increase the size of your circle of friends?