Tag Archives: can’t change

unconscious living

“There are many wonderful things that will never be done if you do not do them.”   Charles D. Gill

“But, I can’t” … you’ve heard this before, maybe those are the words you uttered as well, “I can’t ….”, and if you ask why you might hear the words that are tied to a fear.    Often the words “I can’t” are spoken before there is any conscious thought.  It is as if “I can’t” rolls off the tongue with a high degree of practice, and it does.

What does “I can’t” speak to?   It speaks to fear, a fear of failure, a fear of success or a fear of loss.   “I can’t” really says I am not ready to make a change in my life because I am afraid of what the result could be and that result could be less favorable than I desire.   (It might cost money I don’t have, or It might cause me to lose something I can’t afford to lose right now, or It might make me feel bad, or It might make me look bad, or …. ).

In many cases there are words that we speak that we don’t create but rather words that are spoken in reaction to an event or a thought.   When our language becomes a reflex rather than a response we have trained our brain to do something without thinking about it.   It happens every day.  If you drive a car there is a lot of the driving process which has been pushed out of conscious thought to the point that driving can be unconscious.  (Think about the last time  you drove somewhere and don’t remember the journey).

Let’s say you have made a declaration to create success in your life.  To do that means that you are choosing the unknown.   To make a large shift in your life will push you in a direction in which you are not familiar and that generates fear.   To make steps forward means stepping into areas in which you have little or no experience and means making a choice to live consciously by making small effective choices to advance you in the direction you want to go.

To shift from unconscious living to conscious living is having an important goal, a goal that can become a driving force in your life.   What is your big goal that you are working towards?    Are you letting your programmed response to life stop you or are you taking the steps you need to take to grow and succeed?

Today is the day

“We would rather be ruined than changed.
We would rather die in our dread
Than climb the cross of the present
And let our illusions die.”  W.H.Auden, The Age of Anxiety

What would it be like if you could really be who you are?

It sounds like a broken record doesn’t it?   Who are you really?  Take a look in the mirror and instead of just looking at the face that looks back at you look deeper.   What kind of life are you living?   If you are like 30% of the adult population you aren’t living the life you want.   Thirty percent of adults (100 million or so people) are not living the life they want to live.   They aren’t being real with themselves.   It is easy to fall into a routine and do what you did yesterday even if it doesn’t have any meaning, doing it over again is better than not doing anything.

If life doesn’t hold much meaning, isn’t much to talk about and feels kind of blah then you aren’t doing yourself any favors.   You are just existing and life is more than just existing don’t you think?

For “most” people life is hard.  It is hard work to live life and it takes more work to enjoy it.   So what do people do, they give up when the going gets tough.  They delay decisions that would lead to a better life cause where they are at the moment is at least known, and that means there is some comfort for them.  Why not break away from the “comfort” zone and start walking the path towards the “living” zone.

Look in the mirror again and what do you see.   Do you see a fake copy of who you really are?    Who do you really want to be?   Knock off that veneer, remove the walls that surround you and really look inside, what is there?   Kind of scary isn’t it?

The remedy to living a ho-hum life is taking action.   It is breaking free of the years of excuses and “could’s”, “should’s” and “would’s” to “will” and “can”  and doing  something today.    It is hard to break free of the habits that you are so used to.  It is hard to focus on setting new goals for your life when you feel safe where you are right now.

Don’t have any goals, then create one.  Make it a big one, make it big enough that it is kind of scary to tell others, make it that big.   Then tell people you are going  to “do it”, make the declaration to do something big.   Make that change that you have always wanted to do but decided it couldn’t be done.

After you set the goal, tell everyone about the goal, then start working that goal.  The hard step, the action step, this is what people put back in the closet after a few days.  It take regular, and repeated action to achieve any goal.   If there is no commitment and action it really doesn’t matter what the goal is, it won’t get done.  Now, what are you waiting for?