Tag Archives: Commitment

10 rules for better relationships

“How would your life be different if…You decided to give freely, love fully, and play feverously? Let today be the day…You free yourself from the conditioned rules that limit your happiness and dilute the beautiful life experience. Have fun. Give – Love – Play!”
― Steve Maraboli

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A lot of people would like to be happier, to have better relationships with others and wonder why they don’t.   How are your relationships?  How are your relationships with those you work with and share time with?   What is missing in your relationships?

It seems that a lot of people I work with struggle with some of their relationships, many of them are with the managers they work for.   Some people aren’t being challenged enough and are afraid to ask for more.  Others don’t believe their superiors listen to them and feel taken advantage of.   Almost everything we do is based on relationships and we can take a few steps to make them better.

Here are 10  rules for improving relationships.

Rule #1 – Serve the other person.  Make their lives better.

Rule #2 – Practice random acts of kindness.  How can you make the day better for someone else?

Rule #3 – Release your anger.  Give up being angry about things that have happened in the past.  Anger is about fear, so identify what you fear and watch the anger melt away.

Rule #4 – Grow.  Invest in learning and growing.  Becoming a better person will enrich your relationships.

Rule #5 – Listen.  It’s simple, it’s hard to do.   What are people really saying?  Listen to what they say and let them know you heard what they said.

Rule #6 – Appreciate.  Say “Thank-you”.  Some people who you would like to have a better relationship with have never heard you say “Thank-you”.   Show them that you appreciate who they are and what they do.

Rule #7 – Honor Commitments.  Build trust with others by honoring your commitments and if you can’t meet a commitment let the other person know when you will meet your commitment.  Trust is essential in a relationship and honoring commitments builds trust.

Rule #8 – Be honest.   It is easy not to be honest when it is easier to blame someone else or to change the truth so you feel better.  Honesty requires that you take responsibility for your actions and your words.

Rule #9 – Don’t wait.  If something feels wrong or is wrong then don’t wait for it to go away.   Solve the problem right away.

Rule #10 – Love more.  Love has power.  Love is the opposite of fear and those who love more have better relationships.  Love heals.  Love forgives.

Pick a rule and adopt it for yourself and use it daily.   Add a new rule to your life and see what it does for you.  Don’t wait for someone else to change or make the relationship better, go out and make it better yourself.

What rules would you add?

What would help make your relationship with others better?

Trust

What about trust? Trust is something we all need to have exist but how do we earn it, display it and keep it? It seems as if trust is very fragile on one side and very difficult to construct on the other. We give everyone some basic amount of trust and if we desire more than we have to earn that trust. To earn more trust we have to be engaged in doing something, perhaps it is honoring a commitment, delivering on a promise or being reliable. Each time we do those things it is like earning interest on a bank account. We only earn a little and it takes a long time to accumulate a high level of trust.

It also seems that in one instant that trust can be wiped away. What we save can be lost or we can lose far more quickly than we can save it up.

It takes Intention

Breakthroughs can happen when we challenge our assumptions. Transformation can take place when we look beyond our limitations from “what is” to “what can be”. How often have we limited ourselves based on our own mental model of who we are? I’d bet that more often than not we have created an unrealistic imagine of ourselves and our abilities. Challenge those mental models.

ALIGN – Align your dreams with your energy and focus on what can be. That is having a laser like focus every day and set realistic goals each and every day. Typically we start off well only to find that we are sidetracked by something small that shifts our attention away from our primary goal. Before long we have lost the day to the tyranny of the urgent. Bring it all back – focus on the goal.  Get back in alignment.

CREATE – We were designed to create. We were designed to build things and make things better. That goes for everything we do, from cooking to raising children. We are artists and creators of experiences, memories, and numerous other wonderful things. Use your talents to create.

COMMIT – Make the commitment today. What commitment? To do one wonderful thing – create some wonder in your life. Create a moment of joy – create a moment of laughter. Align with your goal, commit and focus. The results will astound you. Be Intentional.

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

Gandhi

Elements of Humility

What about trust? Trust is something we all need to have but how do we earn it, display it and keep it? It seems as if trust is very fragile on one side and very difficult to construct on the other. We give everyone some basic amount of trust and if we desire more than we have to earn that trust. To earn more trust we have to be engaged in doing something, perhaps it is honoring a commitment, delivering on a promise or being reliable. Each time we do those things it is like earning interest on a bank account. We only earn a little and it takes a long time to accumulate a high level of trust.

It also seems that in one instant that trust can be wiped away. What we save can be lost or we can lose far more quickly than we can save trust up.

It is almost like saving up money to put a down payment on a house. We can save and save and save and when we get enough we can make that big down payment to purchase the house. Then in an instant we can lose that house. We save and save and pay and pay and it can be gone in instant. If that happens how do we feel? Doesn’t it take a long time to really time to go out and purchase a new home? Isn’t there a lingering fear that something else will happen and so we don’t fully trust the purchase or the home?

These same things happen in personal relationships as well and we have to work very hard at building and maintaining trust amongst our friends and family.

Sometimes that is where a coach can come in and help. A coach can help you design some solutions to rebuild trust. If you want a coach you also want one you could trust as well.

What would you be looking for in a coach?