Tag Archives: creating commitments

expectations or agreements

“Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and
he will become as he can and should be.”
― Stephen R. Covey

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Have you ever been told you didn’t meet expectations?   What did that feel like?   Were you even aware of those expectations?   Expectations are somewhat like a barb wired fence, as careful as you can be sometimes you’ll get caught on the sharpened barb.

People place expectations on others without explaining or providing the content for those expectations.   That leaves you to guess what others think you should do and that often leads to conflict, or in the workplace, demotivation.

Why do expectations lead to conflict?   Expectations are those things that if you are able to meet are rarely acknowledged.  Expectations that are missed are usually commented on and often in a negative fashion.  In the best case you often hear nothing positive and in the worst case you end up feeling upset, angry or frustrated.

A better approach would be to create agreements.   Agreements are co-created and include a commitment and a target for achieving the outcome.  Agreements can be managed where expectations are just that, an expectation that something will get done.  When an agreement isn’t met then the parties to the agreement can talk about what didn’t or did work out.

In what parts of your life are expectations causing problems?   How could an agreement be created that would replace those expectations?