“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.” George Bernard Shaw
Excuses …. how many do you make in a single day? There is always a reason not to do something and that reason is most likely an excuse. Excuses become habits and habits become a way of life.
What is the origin of excuses? When people are feeling disempowered one way to recover that power is to redirect the negative energy towards something else. If there was no personal threat then excuses would never need to be uttered.
To live to your full potential excuses must be replaced by responsibility.
1.It is too hard
2. I don’t have the time.
3. I am not good enough
4. I don’t have the money
5. I’m not smart enough
6. I’m too old or I’m not old enough
7. I don’t have the experience
8. I’m afraid
9. I don’t deserve to be successful
Which excuse is your favorite? What popular excuse do you use on a regular basis?
When someone asks you what you really want to do, do you follow that up with, “I don’t have the time, …, it’s true”. What are you really saying when you say ,”it’s true”. Does the “it’s true” statement validate your excuse? Of course it is true for you. Why should it be that way? What would it take to counter the excuse?
What happens when we live behind the door of excuses? What do you think that does to your life?
For the next week write down all the excuses you make. Just notice them and write them down. At the end of the week, notice what excuses you were making and how often you were making them. What does that tell you?
Live without excuses.
“There are many wonderful things that will never be done if you do not do them.” Charles D. Gill
“But, I can’t” … you’ve heard this before, maybe those are the words you uttered as well, “I can’t ….”, and if you ask why you might hear the words that are tied to a fear. Often the words “I can’t” are spoken before there is any conscious thought. It is as if “I can’t” rolls off the tongue with a high degree of practice, and it does.
What does “I can’t” speak to? It speaks to fear, a fear of failure, a fear of success or a fear of loss. “I can’t” really says I am not ready to make a change in my life because I am afraid of what the result could be and that result could be less favorable than I desire. (It might cost money I don’t have, or It might cause me to lose something I can’t afford to lose right now, or It might make me feel bad, or It might make me look bad, or …. ).
In many cases there are words that we speak that we don’t create but rather words that are spoken in reaction to an event or a thought. When our language becomes a reflex rather than a response we have trained our brain to do something without thinking about it. It happens every day. If you drive a car there is a lot of the driving process which has been pushed out of conscious thought to the point that driving can be unconscious. (Think about the last time you drove somewhere and don’t remember the journey).
Let’s say you have made a declaration to create success in your life. To do that means that you are choosing the unknown. To make a large shift in your life will push you in a direction in which you are not familiar and that generates fear. To make steps forward means stepping into areas in which you have little or no experience and means making a choice to live consciously by making small effective choices to advance you in the direction you want to go.
To shift from unconscious living to conscious living is having an important goal, a goal that can become a driving force in your life. What is your big goal that you are working towards? Are you letting your programmed response to life stop you or are you taking the steps you need to take to grow and succeed?
Posted in Change, Goal seeking, performance, Risk
Tagged can't change, fear of change, fear of failure, fear of loss, fear of self, fear of standing out, fear of success, fear of the world, want to change, won't change
Olusegun Jegeda writes, “Fear is like a virus that wrecks havoc in our lives. It develops into mistrust, anxiety, worry, hopelessness, and other negative emotions. It paralyzes us and hinders our progress in life. When fear grips you, you become powerless. It’s the greatest obstacle to personal success.” Psychology Today
Fear starts with the statement “what if …”.
What if I don’t get that new job.
What if I don’t have the money to pay the bills?
What if my manager gets upset with me again?
What if they fire me?
What if they keep me?
What if my company goes out of business?
What if my relationship ends up in divorce?
What if I don’t finish college?
What I am not smart enough?
What if I don’t look good enough?
What if I don’t get a promotion?
What if they ask me a question I don’t know the answer to?
What if I fail?
What if I succeed then what?
All those “what if” statements that we create in our mind generate the sensation of fear or stress. Your body’s reaction to that stress or fear is the release of hormones into your body so that it will react. These hormones are powerful and that is the reason our heart elevates in rate, our breathing increases, our language changes and we begin to react rather than respond to the situation.
Think about where you are right now, what is holding you back? What “what if” statement is running through you mind and what would you like to do about it?
What is the one thing that is stopping you from reaching your desired goals in life?
For many the “ego” is what holds people back from realizing what they want most. The ego holds people captive of the “I” syndrome, the idea that “I” matter more than anything else, that “I” am the center of the universe, and that the universe revolves around what “I” want.
The ego cripples dreams, desires, hopes and the results people so much want out of life. The stories of “mega-stars” in the business or sports world all too often splash across the headlines with another story of a roar to the top and the subsequent slide to the bottom.
The power isn’t in how big the ego is, but in how powerful your ability to create opportunities with the intention of serving others becomes. The drive is creating for others rather than creating for self. The ego responds to fear, the fear of failure, the fear of success, the fear of being powerless in a world overcome by power and the feeling that “I am not good enough” and reacts to protect the weakness within.
Where is your ego?
“He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still”