“What you focus on expands, and when you focus on the goodness in your life, you create more of it. Opportunities, relationships, even money flowed my way when I learned to be grateful no matter what happened in my life.” Oprah Winfrey
What do you think of when you see or hear the word opportunity? Opportunity for you. What feelings are generated when you hear that word?
Opportunity is a word that generally elevates optimism and produces a sense of anticipatory positive outcomes. Opportunity for something better to happen in the near future. For some people it is like buying a lottery ticket with the hope that they will win the big prize and all their troubles will be over.
What opportunities are you seeking? What do you hope those opportunities will do for you?
Opportunity is all around us if we take the time to look. First we have to look within and find out what it is that will satisfy us and then look for opportunities that will accomplish that goal. For some people their career is virtually meaningless. Sure there is a paycheck but there is no meaning to the work they do and they stay there because of one thing a paycheck. There are many opportunities to do something that is meaningful and still have a paycheck.
How do you get more opportunity in your life?
1. Keep learning
2. Manage your emotions well
3. Listen more – talk less
4. Experiment – try new things (everywhere – choose something different from the menu of life).
5. Know your strengths
What can you today to create more opportunity in your life?
– When things just click
– When there is full engagement
– When the energy is fully spent and it feels good
– When there is absolute focus
– When there is connection between self and action
When do you encounter life? When there is harmony of self.
“How simple it is to see that all the worry in the world cannot control the future. How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now. And that there will never be a time when it is not now.” — Gerald Jampolsky
Listening is an essential attribute in a client coach relationship. Each of us carries with us a story, a unique story about the past, present and the future. Our story is filled with the experiences and events that have shaped our lives.
For example when we are listening we hear the words (content) and then relate them to our contextual framework (our experience). As we overlay what we hear with our experience (what is in our memory) we “pop out” of the conversation for a moment and depending on the vividness of the story we may “pop out” of the conversation for a few seconds. When that happens we have lost connection with the story that is being presented (i.e. we are no longer present).
Intentional listening takes work and like physical exercise needs to be done often in order to improve. Listen with intent for thirty seconds each day building towards one minute of focused listening (which means silencing the internal critic in the head). Process the story and allow the story being told to be the only thing that is being processed. When there are breaks in concentration quickly return to the full focus of listening.
If the speaker mentions “mountains” our mind will imagine a mountain and in many cases our mind will probe the shape, the orientation, height, cliffs, valleys and other features of that mountain and that takes us away from the story. Those “pops” out of the listening experience need to be very brief in order to be fully present in the listening process.
It is not that it is wrong to connect our context with the content of the story because that is how we are able to share experiences even though there are vast differences in the context of the story. We just need to be careful not to escape into our story when we are listening to the story of another person.
Do you “pop out” of the story or are you disciplined in your listening abilities?
How long can you focus on the story of another person?
What can you do to improve your focus?
Now what if your brain becomes full, what do you do? [This is where we acknowledge the story, through paraphrasing, echoing, questioning …]
Posted in Change, coach, Leadership, Listening
Tagged autumn, brain, cliffs, content, context, Focus, image, Listening, mountains, photograph, present, relentless, vacation, valleys
Breakthroughs can happen when we challenge our assumptions. Transformation can take place when we look beyond our limitations from “what is” to “what can be”. How often have we limited ourselves based on our own mental model of who we are? I’d bet that more often than not we have created an unrealistic imagine of ourselves and our abilities. Challenge those mental models.
ALIGN – Align your dreams with your energy and focus on what can be. That is having a laser like focus every day and set realistic goals each and every day. Typically we start off well only to find that we are sidetracked by something small that shifts our attention away from our primary goal. Before long we have lost the day to the tyranny of the urgent. Bring it all back – focus on the goal. Get back in alignment.
CREATE – We were designed to create. We were designed to build things and make things better. That goes for everything we do, from cooking to raising children. We are artists and creators of experiences, memories, and numerous other wonderful things. Use your talents to create.
COMMIT – Make the commitment today. What commitment? To do one wonderful thing – create some wonder in your life. Create a moment of joy – create a moment of laughter. Align with your goal, commit and focus. The results will astound you. Be Intentional.
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”