Tag Archives: Freud

too many choices …


Your decisions to do things are based on emotions.   Oh, not you, you’re the logical one who makes decisions by doing a very factual analysis and what the data tells you is what the outcome will be.   When you were developing that factual analysis where did the values you were going to score come from?    Perhaps it was the things you care about most.  The values that you have and the experiences are the motivational forces that drive your “thoughts” and “emotions”.     Beliefs and values are largely emotional when acted upon. 

So, if you’re the analytical type what you value is “getting it right”, not about “feeling right”, but getting the right answer so that you can feel good about the answer.   Apart from you all the analysis in the world won’t change anything about the reason for or against any decision.    It is better to buy gold or diamonds?   You can have a analysis done that shows that diamonds matter more to some buyers than others, so what is right?  What is right for you?   The decision goes back to an emotional need how you arrive at the conclusion whether analytical or emotional is part of the justification to “feel good” about the decision.  

Not making a decision is a decision as well.   Taking action is one choice and not doing something is a choice.   There isn’t a right or wrong about the choice it is just a choice.   There is a right and wrong choice for you and your desires and goals.   Let’s take buying a car.   Buying a car for some is easy, the car matches the color the person really loves, and the deal is done.   For others there is a whole sequence of steps that have to be taken to arrive at the right car for the right reason, safety, gas mileage, reliability, resale, performance, options, model, … and the list goes on and oh, the price had better be right or no deal.     There is no right or wrong about buying a car, it just has to meet your emotional desires.    The car doesn’t care who the owner is, the purchaser is the only one who cares.

Many, many people pour over a decision and worry and fret about making the “right” decision, the “right” choice, what makes it the “right” choice?   The choice of career, the choice of a partner, a choice of home purchase, a choice of medical care, a choice of moving, a choice of colors, a choice of texture, a choice of being self-employed or being employed by others,  a choice for personal development, a choice of spiritual matters, and more choices.    Some of the choices that are made don’t work and some work well and at the moment the choice was made it was your best choice.   It was the best at that very moment because it “felt” right and because of the information you had or the strong emotions you had it seemed like the best possible choice.    Turning the clock back, the decision that was made may not have seemed like the best choice, it may feel like the worst choice that was ever made.  Only if there was more time and more information to make a more informed choice.     People who long for more time and more information often have trouble making a choice.  Taking a risk feels too uncomfortable.

What choices would you like to make over again?    How would they serve you if you did get a chance to do it over?

What choices will put you in a better position to face tomorrow?   Will today’s choice bring about a better tomorrow?

 “When making a decision of minor importance, I have always found it advantageous to consider all the pros and cons. In vital matters, however, such as the choice of a mate or a profession, the decision should come from the unconscious, from somewhere within ourselves. In the important decisions of personal life, we should be governed, I think, by the deep inner needs of our nature.”

Sigmund Freud