Tag Archives: happiness

your thought patterns

In the past researchers focused on negative thought patterns and depression and now researchers like Martin Seligman, Tal Ben Shahar, Sonja Lyubomirsky and Gretchen Rubin are focusing on positive thinking.

 

When a negative thought enters your mind what do you do with it?  Do you dwell on it as if it were true?   Take an example from your past, a time when a negative thought just turned over and over in your mind.   What was that thought?  

Evaluate the thought through the prism of these four questions to see if the thought is true.

  1. Is the thought true?
  2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
  3. How do you feel when you have that thought?
  4. Who would you be or what would you feel if it you didn’t have that thought?

Now, reverse the thought and change it to its opposite.

  1. Is the thought false?
  2. Can you absolutely know that it is false?
  3. How do you feel when you have that thought?
  4. What would you be or what would you feel if you did something with this thought?

 

 

Which scenario is more valid, the positive thought or the negative thought?   Which thought has the possibility of creating a better mood and better outcome?

Take time to think about the positive outcomes and your life will become more positive as a result.

Kindness works best when

“Kindness is a language we all understand.  Even the blind can see it and the deaf can hear it.” 
                                                                                    Mother Teresa 
 

How do you spread kindness?   How do you encourage others to reach their full potential?   When was the last time you were encouraged, thanked, appreciated, or acknowledged?

If you have been acknowledged recently those around you probably haven’t been either.   What a great way to start a trend – acknowledge those around you and see what happens.   Brighten their day to brighten yours!


my inner life is …

“the man who has no inner life is the slave to his surroundings”
Henri Frederic Amiel

What does your inner life look like?

Peace

Joy

Happiness

Contentment

Serenity

Synchronicity

Convergence

Filled

 

What words describe what your deepest feelings are?   Does anything on the list above strike a chord with you?

to seek change – is to seek happiness

What is the point of living if you are not willing to change?   Any ideas?   There are people who resist change, run from change, pretend not to change all in the effort to remain the same.   It is the sameness of everyday life that is reductionary, that sucks life from us and drains joy from us.   Sameness … what is your sameness?   What patterns are regularly repeated day in and day out that should be changed?   There are patterns that bear repeating day after day … so not those, but those patterns that trap us in sameness, what are those?

Part of change is to improve or bring upon oneself greater happiness.   Not the kind of happiness associated with laugther but the kind of happiness that feels good for long periods of time without any form of corruption.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi writes, “What I ‘discovered’ was that happiness is not something that happens.  It is not the result of good fortune or random chance.  It is not something money can buy or power command.  It does not depend on outside events, but, rather, on how we interpret them.  Happiness, in fact, is a condition that one must be prepared for, cultivated, and defended privately by each person.  People who learn to control inner experience will be able to determine the quality of their lives, which is as close as any of us can come to being happy.”

Learning to control the inner experience … leads to happiness.

Wouldn’t that require a change?

10 ways to improve happiness

We cannot teach people anything; we can only help them discover it within themselves.
Galileo Galilei

Researchers have revealed that there are things that can be done to improve the quality of life that one lives.  These steps are:

 

  1. Stop and enjoy the present.
  2. Don’t compare yourself to the Joneses.
  3. Don’t obsess over money.
  4. Aspire to leave an imprint.
  5. Be intrinsically motivated on the job.
  6. Build a supportive network of family and friends
  7. Act optimistic even if you have to fake it.
  8. Gratitude, baby, gratitude.
  9. Exercise is all good.
  10. Givers gain.

Take one of the ten and think about what you could do.   What steps can you take to make one of those ten work for you?  

Live one of the ten items daily. 

Read more about it Want to be happier?

Finding meaning in joy and suffering

I don’t know how many people find meaning in suffering but it might just be that in suffering you discover more about yourself than you do when you are in a state of joy.   The questions are asked more often in suffering.  Questions of why – why me – why?  Perhaps that is the wrong question to ask.  When there is suffering the goal is to make it go away and that it does go away and in most cases it will.

When we experience joy more often than not we know it will subside overtime and go away.   It is unlikely that the question is asked how can I keep joy going when we are in a state of joy.   It seems as if we accept joy for what it is when it is present.

Business leaders try to examine the success of others so that they can apply that knowledge to their line of work in order to increase their chance of success or to increase their current success.  Now what would happen if individuals focused on improving their lives, their joy and their success, what do you think would happen?

Constant incremental improvement – constantly improve the joy in your life by focusing on what makes you filled with joy.

Try it!   Spend a few minutes each day and write down the things that were good – joyful.   Even if it is just one thing write it down and the next day try to find two things that were joyful.  You may have to work on making joy enter your life – try it!

In suffering try to find joy and it may mean helping someone else find joy.

 “Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.

 Henry David Thoreau

 

Are you lost?

Are you navigating through life not sure why you do what you do?

Are you just surviving the day to day issues?

Does it feel like there is more to life than what you are experiencing?

Do you have a sense of purpose?

Do you have goals that you are working towards that are an extension of whom you truly are?

Do your goals make sense?

Do you believe there is more?   Have you given up hope?   Are you just marching to an unknown drummer?

What does life feel like most of the time?   Is it good?   Do you see joy, beauty, truth and happiness most of the time?   Are you using your strengths most of the time?

 

Indeed there is more.   There are answers.   There is purpose.  

Use your gifts and talents – be all that you were truly meant to be.

Why not start today!   Why not start now!