Tag Archives: heart

defining personal success factors

Where are the keys?

What is success?

What is personal success?  What does it mean?   How do you get it?   Where do you find it?

How long does it take to get there?

You have a key in your hand.  Behind one of many doors is your future, a future that is filled with the things your heart desires.   What your heart desires.   The key fits the lock that matches the desires of your heart. 

Finding the desire of the heart is the goal.  

Find the who in you.

Are you one that:

            Acts boldly
            Takes risks
            Acts implusively
            Seeks adventure
            Assertive and to the point
            Physical

OR

 

 

            Enjoys task and structure
            has a serious attitude
            is a helper
            Cares for body and health
            is Direct but cautious
            follows rules
            respects authority

OR

 

 

            Questions and explores ideas
            considers the ideas of other’s
            highly independent
            lives in imagination
            desires competency
            expectations are set high

OR

            Thanks others
            Integrity matters
            likes to make things better
            likes to brighten the day of others
            a team player
            clam – peacemaker – harmony

 

 

Which category fits you best?  Are you living at your best?

Being Transparent

Like a looking glass into our soul. Often it is something that isn’t done. It is a way to keep our true self from being seen by others. Being transparent and showing your inner light to others is not something everyone does.

Hiding self from others for fear of rejection, or because of a lack of self-confidence, or because there are deep scars, or because there is a smoldering wound, or because there is a broken heart, or because there is an unfilled void is not the path towards greater happiness. Living a transparent life is a choice that must be made. Living behind a veil will in many cases diminish the fullness of life.

How does being transparent help bring about a better life? When there are no secrets, no deep voids, no fear then power that was coming from others comes from within. Power from within is continuous, it is free, it is brighter and of better quality.

Transparency gives power away. Initially it takes power, courage and confidence to release the darkness that prevents being transparent. It takes time to test it … does it really release power or does it consume power?

Think about it from the perspective of a leader. Which leader has more power, the one that shows what is inside or the one who shrouds things in mystery? The transparent leader will acknowledge the faults, the foibles, the failures they have experienced. They will admit their shortcomings. What happens when a person reveals their inner-self to others? Do they become genuine and authentic? Do they become real people just like everyone else? Do they have the ability to relate to others?

If you want to find out what a big obstacle the ego really is, try to come together with other people in genuine transparency. Transparency means radical authenticity, free from ego defenses and impure motives. It’s the ultimate challenge to the ego. You could sit on a meditation cushion until you dropped dead and never have your capacity for radical transparency tested. The real test, for all of us, is in relationship. Come together. When there’s radical transparency and the ego steps aside, each single individual in that extraordinary collective context has access to the power and depth and clarity of the enlightened mind. And that’s when enlightenment really starts to take on new meaning and significance for us all.”

Andrew Cohen
London, March 2004

Transparency is sliding aside the curtains of the soul revealing its character. It is not easy or quick to do if there have been many years, many scars, many fears that stand in the way. The opaque window will neither let in light nor let light out.

Dostoyevsky wrote, “Every man has reminiscences which he would not tell to everyone but only to his friends. He has other matters in his mind which he would not reveal even to his friends, but only to himself in secret. But there are other things which man is afraid to tell even to himself, and every decent man has a number of such things stored away in his mind.”

Transparency reveals the character of a person. Transparency informs others of the integrity of a person. Information that threatens the self threatens self-esteem. Threats create anxiety and the anxiety transforms our character. The reason it damages the character is due to the nature of the internal self-talk that takes place – generally negative. Transparency will remove the need to hide from the issues which generate anxiety. The lack of anxiety will naturally result in self-talk that is positive – the self will not be talking down the self but rather acknowledging the self in a positive form.

The idea that the truth will set us free is an outcome of transparency. Working towards transparency might be better done with someone that can be trusted. Exposing the darkness will require a trusted relationship so that the surfacing of the negatives can be done safely and without repercussions.

Transparency allows one to shift from hiding behind pretense to genuine living.

In a journal write down those things that prevent you from living transparently?

What can you do to become more transparent?

What risks are you willing to take?

What benefits do you think you would obtain by living transparently?

Smile brightly

Paul Loeb wrote this about Rosa Parks journey “suggests that change is the product of deliberate, incremental action, whereby we join together to try to shape a better world. Sometimes our struggles will fail, as did many earlier efforts of Parks, her peers, and her predecessors. Other times they may bear modest fruits. And at times they will trigger a miraculous outpouring of courage and heart – as happened with Park’s arrest and all that followed. For only when we act despite all our uncertainties and doubts do we have the chance to change.” From the real Rosa Parks, http://paulloeb.org/articles/rosaparks.htm

It takes courage to change. It takes a willingness to step out where you have never stepped before. The reminder is “what is the worst that could happen?” The worst thing that would happen is we would learn something. Even when the results are not what we expected that doesn’t mean that there was a failure, all it means is that the learning we gained was different than we predicted. We must take risks and change. We grow when we take risks and we grow when we change our thoughts, our actions and our opinions.

Take the time to change. Be rewarded by the experience. Smile brightly – smile brightly.