Tag Archives: living in the past

Now

“Life is now. There was never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be.”  James Thurber

It fits neatly between the past and the future.   It is the space between the not yet and history, it is what we call “Now” and it is a very precious moment.   Now is always moving in some direction for some people it is forward and for others it is a link to the past.

Some people move from “Now” into the past, a past  filled regrets, anger, and disappointment.   They are so comfortable in the past that they can’t move out of it, they are friends with yesterday.   For those who are stuck in the past we are likely to call them victims.    For the victim life is about “getting” comfort from others and it is a way to survive and receive empathy.   While there is a benefit from living in the past as a victim it isn’t a place of strength and vitality.   Living a life in the past is more like living in a cage, safety being on the inside but there is no freedom in living in the past.

There are some people who live in the future, a future that is filled with dreams of what can be or a future that is filled with anxiety and fear.   Living in fear (panic attacks, high anxiety) diminishes the quality of life.   People living alone without a strong support structure can project themselves into an uncertain future and increase the chances of having panic attacks. 

The past or the future is not the place to cultivate happiness.   Happiness occurs in the “now”.  While we can have fond memories of the past that brings to us feelings of joy, these feelings often only pull us back into a place of “life was better then …”.   Now is the time and place for happiness and because it happens  in the moment it often feels elusive.    As soon as you think about your  happiness you are shifting your state of consciousness to a different time perspective.   Happiness in the moment is something that is and it takes no thought.

Now is the place where creation unfolds.   Now is the place the  memories bloom.   Now is the place that dreams are fashioned.   Many people refer to “now” as being present, not being in the past or in the future but being right in the moment, fully alive and fully energized.  

Where do you find yourself, in the present, in the past or in the future?

In this video the Dalai Lama talks about how our emotions are the source of our problems, and it is our emotions that impact our ability to be happy, to be present, to be in the “now”. What do you think?


 

“Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.”   James Thurber

Fear

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
Frank Herbert, Dune

What would you be doing right now if fear didn’t have its way with you?   That is right, fear is stopping you from living fully.   It is holding you back.  It is making you nervous and it is changing the rhythm of your self-talk.   What is it saying right now?   Is it saying “I can do anything I want to” or is it saying “I would do if it if I wanted to” or is it saying “I could do it but I don’t feel like it.”    What messages are you listening to, what is the talk of your unconscious mind saying right now?   It may not be saying anything, it may just be a feeling, a nervous feeling, a queasy feeling, an uncertain feeling, a feeling that says back away or a feeling that says quit now.   What is it you are feeling right now?   How does the word fear feel right now?

Some people fear changing a job that they absolutely know isn’t working for them.   They keep the job just to have a job and in today’s uncertain economy that is holding back people from doing what they love to do.

Fear rips through someone who finds out that they have a severe illness.  What is next?  What will happen to me?   The mind fixates on the worst outcome possible rather than focusing on what the best outcome could be.

What are you fearful about?

Write down those things now.

I am fearful about __________________________________________

I am fearful about __________________________________________

I am fearful about __________________________________________

Now that you have the idea, write down the things that you are fearful about.  Identify those fears.

What is a fear?  What is the rational thought behind the fear?

Examine the fear and look at it from 360 degrees.   Look all around the fear and write down what is true about the fear.   What is really true, not what you think is true.

Let’s say you are looking for a new job.  You’ve written your resume and sent it out to over 200 organizations and not one has written or called you for an interview.   Maybe you are thinking you are not good enough to be hired.  You feel rejected and then you feel that without a job then you won’t be able to provide for yourself.    The fear is that you aren’t good enough.   If you aren’t good enough then what.  What does the future hold for you if you aren’t good enough?

The fear  you are not good enough is just a thought you made up, where is the truth in that statement “you’re not good enough?”.

Take one step out of fear by creating a positive frame of mind.   To create a positive frame of mind think positive.   Tame the voice of fear and replace it with  the voice of creation.

“I am creating my future.”

“I am  living fully today.”

“I am enjoying the moment.”

“I am good enough.”

Replace the old thoughts with new ones.  Practice, practice and practice focusing on what you want as an outcome and move forward each day.

In this video Dr. Michael Duckett talks about overcoming fear.   Coaching also works to move people beyond limiting beliefs, assumptions and interpretations.

Take the next step to conquer fear in your life.  Focus on what you can do right now, right now and solve the problems rather than trying to figure out what will happen in the future.

“Be brave enough to live creatively…. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you will discover will be wonderful. What you will discover will be yourself. ”
Alan Alda