Tag Archives: love

10 rules for better relationships

“How would your life be different if…You decided to give freely, love fully, and play feverously? Let today be the day…You free yourself from the conditioned rules that limit your happiness and dilute the beautiful life experience. Have fun. Give – Love – Play!”
― Steve Maraboli

SONY DSC

A lot of people would like to be happier, to have better relationships with others and wonder why they don’t.   How are your relationships?  How are your relationships with those you work with and share time with?   What is missing in your relationships?

It seems that a lot of people I work with struggle with some of their relationships, many of them are with the managers they work for.   Some people aren’t being challenged enough and are afraid to ask for more.  Others don’t believe their superiors listen to them and feel taken advantage of.   Almost everything we do is based on relationships and we can take a few steps to make them better.

Here are 10  rules for improving relationships.

Rule #1 – Serve the other person.  Make their lives better.

Rule #2 – Practice random acts of kindness.  How can you make the day better for someone else?

Rule #3 – Release your anger.  Give up being angry about things that have happened in the past.  Anger is about fear, so identify what you fear and watch the anger melt away.

Rule #4 – Grow.  Invest in learning and growing.  Becoming a better person will enrich your relationships.

Rule #5 – Listen.  It’s simple, it’s hard to do.   What are people really saying?  Listen to what they say and let them know you heard what they said.

Rule #6 – Appreciate.  Say “Thank-you”.  Some people who you would like to have a better relationship with have never heard you say “Thank-you”.   Show them that you appreciate who they are and what they do.

Rule #7 – Honor Commitments.  Build trust with others by honoring your commitments and if you can’t meet a commitment let the other person know when you will meet your commitment.  Trust is essential in a relationship and honoring commitments builds trust.

Rule #8 – Be honest.   It is easy not to be honest when it is easier to blame someone else or to change the truth so you feel better.  Honesty requires that you take responsibility for your actions and your words.

Rule #9 – Don’t wait.  If something feels wrong or is wrong then don’t wait for it to go away.   Solve the problem right away.

Rule #10 – Love more.  Love has power.  Love is the opposite of fear and those who love more have better relationships.  Love heals.  Love forgives.

Pick a rule and adopt it for yourself and use it daily.   Add a new rule to your life and see what it does for you.  Don’t wait for someone else to change or make the relationship better, go out and make it better yourself.

What rules would you add?

What would help make your relationship with others better?

core values

“There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. ” Freya Stark

What are core values?   These are values that are important to you or the organization you work for.  These are deep-seated values that you identify with as necessary components of you or you work.   Some people value honesty, integrity,  trust,  intelligence, or a strong work ethic.   No matter what they are if they are in alignment with who you are the more satisfied you’ll be.   Your identity is wrapped up in your core values.  It is what you believe in.

How well do you know your core values?    I have found that looking at a list of over 300 values that most people find it difficult to winnow the list down to just a few values, just 3 or 4 values that are the most important to them.   With too many values it is easy to get lose focus on what is really important and identify with values that are tangential to the real you.

Why is it important to have just a few values?    You can certainly have many values that are important and without a focus on a few it leads to less intense focus on the values that are the most important.    There are probably just three to five core values that you can develop with sufficient intensity to make substantial improvements on.

Identify your values

1. Take a look at a list of values and quickly choose 10 values that you identify with

2.  Narrow the list of 10 values down to 5

3. Now choose the 3 values that you strongly identify with

What can you do to strengthen your values?

Take a look at Zappos values and how they apply those values in the work environment.

How are you living out your values?

If you are interested in finding your core values Taylor Protocols offers an assessment that will identify your strengths in four areas.    The information is useful in finding the right career and how to resolve conflicts with others.    When you know what values are being challenged in yourself you can develop strategies to reduce that conflict.

Take some time and get to know your core values today.

Intention

Before you agree to do anything that might add even the smallest amount of stress to your life, ask yourself: What is my truest intention? Give yourself time to let a yes resound within you. When it’s right, I guarantee that your entire body will feel it.   Oprah Winfrey, O Magazine

It is what gets you from point A to point B, intention.   It is a motivating and driving force that enables you to do and to be.   Everything that you do starts with with an idea.  The idea grows in size and power until there is action.   The natural growth of that idea into an energetic force is intention.

Intention to do.   Intention to be.   Intention is like a compass pointing you in a direction.    Attention that follows intention is what starts you on that journey to reach that goal.   The intention precedes attention to the goal.

Often what is needed to transform and idea or thought into intention is a catalyst.    Words can acts as catalysts,  words like “creativity”, “kindness”, “love”, “beauty”, “abundant”,  and “receptive”.

Take each word and expand the meaning of the word in terms of being a catalyst for doing and being.

Creativity

What can you create?    What idea can you take and add to it.    How is creativity like a flower?

 

 

Kindness

What does kindness look like to you?   What acts of kindness can you do today?  What does intentional kindness look like?    What does kindness feel like?

 

Love

What is the intention of love?   What does it take to be intentional about love?  What can you do to be intentional about love today?

 

 

Beauty

Observe.   Take some time out to discover beauty around you.   Just look and notice.   The act of being intentional about noticing beauty may be eye-opening.  What are you noticing?

Abundant

What does abundant mean to you?    Does it mean available?   Does it mean large in quantity?   Does it mean high in quality?   What is abundance?   Lack of want?  What do you have abundance of?    What are you desiring to be more abundant in your life?

Receptive

Open to something new.    How are you being receptive to your thoughts?   How are you looking at your thoughts in terms of creating more abundance, more love, more beauty, more kindness and more creativity?   Intention starts with your ability to receive into your life the very things that surround you today.   Use what you have to get what you want.   Use your creativity, use your kindness, use your love, use the beauty, use your abundant ideas to live with greater intention.

Listen to what Deepak Chopra has to say about intention.   What are you doing to be more intentional about your life?

be a seeker

“The only thing that we can know is that we know nothing and that is the highest flight of human wisdom.”  Leo Tolstoycopy-of-italy_turin_2003-112

 

Are you seeking a better today?

Are you continually seeking knowledge which can be transformed into wisdom?

Are you seeing the beauty of today?

What are you doing then?

start living today

“It takes courage to look at yourself and accept your imperfections. It takes courage to love yourself anyway. It takes courage to go beyond merely trying to survive your life and start trying to actually enjoy it.”  Seth Godin  The Tribes Casebook  http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/files/CurrentTribesCasebook.pdf

 

It takes courage to change.  It takes courage to want to be better than you are today.  It takes courage to live.

 

When do you want to start living?

 

 

 

Get on board! Get on Board!

Get on board!  Get on board!

 

Get on board!  Get on board the train that no one wants to ride on ,

Get on board the train to joy,

Get on board the train to happiness,

Get on board the train to peace,

Get on board the train to freedom,

Get on board the train to beauty,

Get on board the train to truth,

Get on board the train to love,

Get on board the train to life,

Get on board, Get on board, the ticket is free, get on board.

All you have to do is leave behind,

Fear,

Hate,

Greed,

Injustice,

Anger,

Malice,

Destruction,

Cowardice,

Death!

Get on board! Get on board!  The ticket has been paid for.  Get on board!

What are you waiting for?

the answer, the story

“I’m not trying to counsel any of you to do anything really special except to dare to think, and to dare to go with the truth, and to dare to really love completely.”  Buckminster Fuller

There is an old Jewish proverb that says,

“What is truer than truth?”

The answer, “The story”

The truth of story.  What is the story?  What is your part in the story?   You are the actor on a stage for which no one wants to buy a ticket … unless the story is compelling and your story is compelling. 

The truth is in the story – you are the story.   What do you want it to say?

Truth and love, dare to do them completely.  What does that look like for you?

It might be to brace opportunity.

It might be to be happy with who you are.

It might be to recognize your part in the story.

It might be opening your eyes and to see for the first time.