Tag Archives: Relationship

inspired with confidence

How often are you encouraged?

In your work or even in your relationship with others when was the last time you heard a word of encouragement?

In your work or even in your relationship with others when was the last time you heard word of a critical nature?

What happens more often, words that are critical or words that are encouraging?

Encouragement is a moment of inspiration given to another that is both genuine and authentic.

What does encouragement say to you?

You matter

You are important

You have talent, capabilities and strengths

You have gifts

You have value, in self and in ideas

Encouragement is a source of hope.

For every criticism you receive you should get five words of encouragement.

So, what does encouragement do? Do you feel more secure when you are encouraged? Do you feel more confident when you are encouraged? Do you feel like you can take a risk when you are encouraged?

Today do something new – something that makes you feel alive – something that strengthens the core of who you are – something that will generate internal energy – what can you do, when will you start?

Being Transparent

Like a looking glass into our soul. Often it is something that isn’t done. It is a way to keep our true self from being seen by others. Being transparent and showing your inner light to others is not something everyone does.

Hiding self from others for fear of rejection, or because of a lack of self-confidence, or because there are deep scars, or because there is a smoldering wound, or because there is a broken heart, or because there is an unfilled void is not the path towards greater happiness. Living a transparent life is a choice that must be made. Living behind a veil will in many cases diminish the fullness of life.

How does being transparent help bring about a better life? When there are no secrets, no deep voids, no fear then power that was coming from others comes from within. Power from within is continuous, it is free, it is brighter and of better quality.

Transparency gives power away. Initially it takes power, courage and confidence to release the darkness that prevents being transparent. It takes time to test it … does it really release power or does it consume power?

Think about it from the perspective of a leader. Which leader has more power, the one that shows what is inside or the one who shrouds things in mystery? The transparent leader will acknowledge the faults, the foibles, the failures they have experienced. They will admit their shortcomings. What happens when a person reveals their inner-self to others? Do they become genuine and authentic? Do they become real people just like everyone else? Do they have the ability to relate to others?

If you want to find out what a big obstacle the ego really is, try to come together with other people in genuine transparency. Transparency means radical authenticity, free from ego defenses and impure motives. It’s the ultimate challenge to the ego. You could sit on a meditation cushion until you dropped dead and never have your capacity for radical transparency tested. The real test, for all of us, is in relationship. Come together. When there’s radical transparency and the ego steps aside, each single individual in that extraordinary collective context has access to the power and depth and clarity of the enlightened mind. And that’s when enlightenment really starts to take on new meaning and significance for us all.”

Andrew Cohen
London, March 2004

Transparency is sliding aside the curtains of the soul revealing its character. It is not easy or quick to do if there have been many years, many scars, many fears that stand in the way. The opaque window will neither let in light nor let light out.

Dostoyevsky wrote, “Every man has reminiscences which he would not tell to everyone but only to his friends. He has other matters in his mind which he would not reveal even to his friends, but only to himself in secret. But there are other things which man is afraid to tell even to himself, and every decent man has a number of such things stored away in his mind.”

Transparency reveals the character of a person. Transparency informs others of the integrity of a person. Information that threatens the self threatens self-esteem. Threats create anxiety and the anxiety transforms our character. The reason it damages the character is due to the nature of the internal self-talk that takes place – generally negative. Transparency will remove the need to hide from the issues which generate anxiety. The lack of anxiety will naturally result in self-talk that is positive – the self will not be talking down the self but rather acknowledging the self in a positive form.

The idea that the truth will set us free is an outcome of transparency. Working towards transparency might be better done with someone that can be trusted. Exposing the darkness will require a trusted relationship so that the surfacing of the negatives can be done safely and without repercussions.

Transparency allows one to shift from hiding behind pretense to genuine living.

In a journal write down those things that prevent you from living transparently?

What can you do to become more transparent?

What risks are you willing to take?

What benefits do you think you would obtain by living transparently?

Lets shine up the soul – soul polish

Polish your soul

Polish your soul

When our shoes get dull and dingy we might get a can of shoe polish and update the finish on the exterior of our shoes.

Before we go off to work we put on our shoes. Shoes protect us from the elements and they also reflect part of our values as individuals. We might have fancy shoes, shiny shoes, colorful shoes, or some other kind of footwear and that sends a message. If we are trying to impress people we might find our best shoes, our shiniest shoes and put those on. If we are hiking in the mountains we will put on shoes that are best suited for that task. If we want our shoes to last and make a lasting impression we have to take care of our shoes.

The same is true for our souls. We have to a take care of our souls as well. Our souls reflect who we are. Often we try to hide our true selves from others. We don’t want them to see the dull, scuffed, damaged, dirty or dingy souls. We want them to see the shiny, bright, and polished souls. We may want them to believe in an illusion – that our souls are polished when they aren’t.

How much time out of each day do you take to polish your soul? How do you make sure you are taking care of one of the most important assets you have – your soul?

What is soul polish? Soul polish is time, it is reading, it is meditating, it is reflecting, it is relaxing, it is observing beauty around you, it is acknowledging others, it is strengthening a relationship, it is building character, it is ensuring your integrity is intact, it is being honest with yourself and others, it is helping others, it is serving, it is being kind, it is find joy and beauty in your work and life – and that is just the start of the list. What do you do to polish your soul? Would others say you are polishing your soul? Is your soul worn, scuffed, dingy or in need of some serious repair?

Start thinking about your soul polish today – what can you do?

The first step

“You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself.  That is something you have charge of.”

— Jim Rohn, American author & motivational speaker

If you are stuck somewhere or you find yourself sinking into a morass of gooey mud then perhaps you could use a coach to help you get out of that mire you find yourself in.

Coach with HEART is a simple framework that focuses on Humility, Encouragement, Acknowledgment, Relationships and Trust.    Using those five key elements a proper environment for coaching can exist.  Taking those elements and applying them to your own life will help others.   If you encourage someone or acknowledge a success that have had you will inspire them to greater things.    Being humble helps open doors and that allows for trust to increase which is the foundation of a relationship.

The first step is the hardest step and with each successive step a bit easier. Take that first step today.

“Take the first step, and your mind will mobilize all its forces to your aid. But the first essential is that you begin. Once the battle is startled, all that is within and without you will come to your assistance.” Robert Collier

“The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself.” Mark Caine

Tomorrow lets look at trust.