“We are set in our ways, bound by our perspectives and stuck in our thinking.” ― Joel Osteen
Sometimes people seem to be stuck in the past. I’ve heard people talk about how they want to change up until the moment they have to do something to create a change in their life. They are stuck right where they are, bad job, bad relationships, bad finances, bad friends, and just about everything is bad from their point of view and they only want to tell people how bad things are.
Stuck! Stuck right where they are in misery. They say they want to make a change and can tell you everything that they want to change, or maybe it is that they really want the world around them to change to meet their view of the world. Imagine that you could get a better job just by complaining about the one you have right now. Imagine a marriage being fixed by just complaining about it. Imagine living in abundance just by complaining about it. For some people that is what they want, complaints that turn into results. It doesn’t work that way.
Being stuck can be comfortable when the alternative means making a change. Change requires facing a fear, the fear of something that could go wrong. Our brains are tuned so strongly to listen to fear that it drowns out the power of a great idea. “What if I fail?” rather than “When I succeed”.
When we experience failure we have to plow through the whole grief cycle.
1. Denial – this possibly can’t be.
2. Anger – who’s fault is this anyway, certainly can’t be my fault.
3. Bargaining – there must be some mistake here.
4. Sadness – I’m not sure I want to do anything
5. Acceptance – Maybe there is an alternative.
How many people want to experience going through the grief process? It might be that those who are resilient and realize that temporary setbacks are just that temporary, they are learning experiences rather than a statement that says, “I’m not good enough.”
So, what do you do? What does it take to push through the barriers of fear? Look for the positive aspects of change rather than being held back by the fear of change. How fast you progress through the grief cycle will have some impact on your level of happiness.
Do you want to stay stuck or move forward?