Tag Archives: resilience

intentional change

“Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen Hard.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Appreciate your friends.
Continue to learn.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.”
― Mary Anne Radmacher

SONY DSC

Is your life working for you?   Are you at the weight you desire to be?  Are you working at the career you love?   Do you have great relationships with others and yourself?  Are you learning and growing?   Are you finances where you want them to be?

If you answered “no” to any of those questions then what are you doing to create the outcomes you want?   Many people would like to change and attempt to start and then stop.   Dieters do this all of the time.     They get on a diet and lose some weight and think, “wow, that was good and now I can celebrate”.     The celebration goes on and on and so do the pounds.   The rebound is greater and the weight gain is greater.   What sets in after feeling terrible about not losing the weight, eating more.   Eating food is the pain-killer for being overweight.

Finances, it just feels right to spend and buy things.   It feels good to buy things and then it feel terrible to see the bill come in the mail.  The budget is out of whack again and it feel terrible.   Why not spend a few dollars for things you don’t really need, it will feel better.

Is your career killing you?   Do you dread dragging yourself into work everyday?   Oh, you’ll get yelled at again.  No one but you appreciates the work you do, and if you’re the only one that cares about the work then why do it.  Have your ideas been tossed aside when your manager says to your great idea, “Yes, but …”?

What do you want to change?

This is a good news, bad news scenario.   If you want to change it is possible and if you don’t want to change than nothing can be done.  A therapist, coach or counselor isn’t going to be able to help you or encourage you to change.    Change is something you want to do.   If things aren’t working out in your life and you just want things to be different then it might not happen unless you are willing to do some work.

Change is intentional and you have to be intentional about make change happen for you.

Intentional change theory has been explored by Richard Boyatzis of Case Western Reserve University, here is part of the concept.

relief

“How we perceive a situation and how we react to it is the basis of our stress. If you focus on the negative in any situation, you can expect high stress levels. However, if you try and see the good in the situation, your stress levels will greatly diminish.” Catherine Pulsifer

It’s a job, it’s barely a job and every morning getting the foot on the floor is more and more difficult.   It’s a life, it’s barely a life and every day it seems that the bills grow larger and larger.   It’s a relationship, it’s barely a relationship with more and more time spent in arguing about each other’s faults and failures.  It’s a diet, it’s barely a diet that works, that is helpful in losing weight.   It’s motivation, it barely the motivation that is needed to improve all the things that are going wrong in life.

There are many people looking for some sort of relief, a way to get through the day, to get through the moment and to feel like there is some purpose and meaning in life.    For many people it is a struggle to stay focused and get something done, there is no relief in their life, just the constant struggle to make it through the day.

What if there was a way to get relief but a way to get more out of life so that everyday is purpose filled and engaging?  What would it be like to feel alive everyday?  What would it be like?

In many cases it is the way we think about life that makes it a struggle.  The difference between an optimistic look at life and a pessimistic look at life is the difference between happiness and despair.     Relief comes when we start looking at life in a new way.

Here are three ways to find relief.

1. Meditate.   Studies show that meditation is reducing stress,  improving happiness and yielding better results in school.

2. Resilience.   People who are able to bounce back from unfortunate circumstances get relief faster.   Increasing positive to negative thoughts ratio increases resilience.

3. Mindfulness.  Focus on creating positive thoughts that break the cycle of negative thinking.

When we shift our mental picture of what is happening to us at any given time from negative to positive we enjoy greater relief.  Moving from worry to opportunity creates a sense of excitement and wonder in our lives.  Ingesting positive thoughts improves our mood and ability to bounce back from bad things in our life.

Where do you need relief?   What can you do today to generate positive thoughts?   What do you really want to be different in your life?

Relief is available to you when you meditate, bounce back and are mindful of what can be done rather than focusing on what has happened.   Relieve your mind of the burden of negative thinking and you will experience relief.

be resilient

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs

Many people feel like they are at the end of their rope.     Life has dealt them a hard blow and they have fallen from their perch that once was high and lofty.  Not long ago a business person thought that the best path to the future was getting out of the business he had been in for over 30 years.   The business was no longer satisfying, the hours were long and the work was hard.    Finding people to work in the business wasn’t easy either, turn-over was high and the work was hard.    His choice to quit, to give it up and turn to something else.  Even though the business was working,  the heart to keep the business running wasn’t.    So, what do you do?

After a long, long time at one occupation, one career, one way of work it takes a lot of energy to change and start doing something else.   It takes resilience, the same properties as a rubber ball, to bounce back and find meaning and passion in life again.

Resilience is an important property to have.   Resilience is the ability to recover from defeat and come back again.   There are many, many stories of people who started a business and did everything they could to keep it going and it still didn’t  survive.    Sometimes people are able to make a comfortable living doing something and then the whole market changes leaving them with one choice, to close the doors.   It takes resilience to come back from small defeats and the even larger defeats.

Most people have experienced some type of event that took the air right out of them.   There are people who have had major medical issues and had to fight back for years to regain their strength.   There are people who are still looking for a good job and are finding that there aren’t any that fit who they are.   It takes resilience to reinvent oneself.

Confucius spoke encouraging words when he said, “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”   Resilience is the positive force that allows one to spring back, to have the ability to grow and to build and to succeed where you haven’t succeeded before.

No defeat is ever final unless you let it be.   Bounce back and move to a height higher than you were before you felt the pressure to change.  Be resilient.