Tag Archives: taking action

overcoming resistance

“Be of good cheer. Do not think of today’s failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost.”
― Helen Keller

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What are you resisting doing?   It may be as simple as getting out of bed in the morning and resisting starting the day.   You can tell you are resisting taking action on something when you do something else instead of the “one” thing you have on your “I should do list”.   You’ll think about starting doing something and then you’ll do something else, something that is more pleasing.  You’ve been there haven’t you?

Write down a list of things you resist doing.    For each item on that list write down what your feelings about those tasks.   What do you feel (anger, depressed, tired, anxious, …)?

Now, for each item you expressed a feeling for, probably a negative feeling, then ask yourself,

Step a.    “Could I accept this feeling of ____________”.
Step b.   “Could I release this feeling of ____________”.   (Release is to let it go)
Step c.  “Would I release this feeling of ____________”.
Step d.  “When will I release the feeling”.

Ask yourself those questions and go through them.   If you can’t let it go the first time go back and repeat those questions again.

Basically you are giving yourself permission to release the resistance.  Once you have let it go the resistance to completing the task will start lowering.  Tackle the task and get the result you want to get.

Practice those steps and see if you can reduce your reluctance to start and complete things you don’t like to do.

Here’s another approach to overcoming resistance.   Try one.

begin

All great deeds and all great thoughts have a ridiculous beginning. Great works are often born on a street corner or in a restaurant’s revolving door.”  Albert Camus

Begin!  That is all it takes to start something is to begin and yet far too many people put of that very task of getting started.     How many things have you put off waiting for tomorrow, the day that never comes.

Personal happiness, even professional happiness is tied directly to the actions you take not to the actions you don’t take.   Happiness isn’t something that comes to you as a result, happiness comes to you when you do something that you believe is useful.

Leadership expert John Maxwell suggests that we look at four things as that can result in having a happier life.

1. Create and nurture relationships.    People are meant to engage with other people.  Learning how to develop, grow and value relationships.

2. Make decisions.   Making decisions that support who you are and your strengths that are based on sound reasoning will improve outcomes in your life.  It takes discipline and practice to make good decisions.

3. Continual growth.   What are you doing to continually improve upon “who” you are.   That could mean additional education and skills or it could mean doing something that allows you to grow as a person, or it could be learning from the lessons of life.  Take time to reflect on each day and evaluate what you learned.

4. Adding value.   How can you add value to others?   Instead of looking at what you can get ask yourself what you can give.    Shift the equation around, how can I add value to others?   What can I bring to someone else in terms of value?   When you look at the personal development industry you’ll see countless experts giving away information, time and value, so that others can grow and develop.

What does it take to get started?    What does it take to go from waiting to beginning to make a difference?   It takes you taking action.   Stop waiting for tomorrow and start DOING today.

1. Who can you develop a stronger relationship with TODAY?

2. What decision are you holding off making?   What is stopping you from making that decision?

3. What can you do now to improve your personal or professional growth?

4. Who can you add value to?    Shift from “I” to “you”.   What can you do?

Years ago there was a movie about the continual bad news that was heard, news that help people captive to inaction, to being a victim of the circumstances rather than an owner of the solution.   The movie was  “NETWORK” and the newscaster asked people to get up and yell …    It’s time to begin and take action.

triangle

“Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control: now. ”
Denis Waitley

“Learn from the past” …. wisdom

“detailed goals for the future” … intention

“live in the moment” … action

Use the past to learn, understand and grow.  Let the past be the soil for growth.   Use the future to dream, to  hope,  to plan and to aspire to.   Let the future be the energy for success.   Use the present to gain strength, confidence and a sure footing.   Let the present be the moment you act.

So often the past is only filled with regret and anger.   Take a few minutes and listen to the words others speak.   What are they really saying?   What are you hearing, listen closely and don’t speak, just listen.    What do you hear?   “If I”, “I could have …”, “I should have …. “, “I would have …”, those are the words of dreams that were put in a box and never allowed to live.    The words “if”, “could”, “should”, “would” leave a person powerless to change the present to live in a better future.

The future is filled with hope, with dreams and with desire.   The future is also filled with unkempt promises and commitment.    The future is a place called “tomorrow” and while it holds the dreams of every man it also holds captive the action required to make those dreams alive.

Now, this very moment,  is a time for action.   It is a place where dreams unfold and color takes the place of black and white.   It is a place where magic can happen if action is taken.   Now is a point in time where dreams unfold and become real.    The present is a time of movement, a time of choice, and a time of responsibility, it is a place where a person isn’t held captive.

What are you doing now to pursue your dreams and goals?   If you are holding on to the pain of the past you aren’t growing.   If you are tied to the  hope of the future you aren’t moving.     Only in the present can we adjust the sails of the ship.  Only in the present can we experience the wind in our face.  Only in the present can we take steps to live the life we want to live.

What are you doing right now, right now, to live the life you desire to live?   What choices are you making that will allow you to live that life you hold captive in your dreams?    What is stopping you if you aren’t taking the steps that lead you closer to living a full life?

on this fateful day …

[New York Daily News 9/14/01]

The day the world changed.

It was a moment in time when people’s hearts started beating differently.  It was a moment in time when your world shifted.

It might have been a moment when it crystallized in your thoughts how fragile life is.   What changed in you?   What new realizations did you have?  What new actions were you going to take?

Sometimes people change the direction of their lives when tragedy strikes, for others it is a blip in the trajectory of their existence.   For some people it meant ensuring that those closest to them knew that they mattered.  It may have been a time to ask forgiveness or share their true feelings or to recommit to a relationship that had gone sour.   What changed for you?

What moves you to take action?  Does it take a massive and violent attack on your way of life or do you see what is best for you and then take action?

Everyone experiences some type of 9/11 experience in their life.  Some use that experience as a wake up call, a time to start taking action.  For others it means withdrawal and moving backwards and becoming a victim of the event rather than making a choice to take action.   Fear drives withdrawal, opportunity causes action.   What do you do when faced with great challenges?

Take this chance to evaluate where you are today:

Use a scale of 1-10, 1 = Not at all, 10 = Very much so

1. My life is close to my ideal

2. The conditions in my life are very satisfying

3. I am satisfied with my life

4. I have most of what I want out of life

5. I have no regrets about my life so far

Add up the score.

My life is very good – ( 40 or above)

My life has opportunities –  (30 – 39)

My life could use improvement  (20 – 29)

My life needs a lot of work   (  less than 20)

Make today the day you start working on your life.   Don’t wait for something tragic to motivate you.

 

 

 

 

going confidently

“The kind of commitment I find among the best performers across virtually every field is a single-minded passion for what they do,
an unwavering desire for excellence  in the way they think and the way they work.  Genuine confidence is what launches you out of bed in the morning,
and through your day with a spring in your step.” Jim Collins

CONFIDENCE

The lack of confidence may be the number one roadblock for achieving the success you desire.   Sometimes it feels like a lack of motivation, lack of energy or a lack of desire, but digging a bit deeper it turns out there is usually a lack of confidence that is stopping success.

Lack of personal confidence may look like:

1. I am not good enough
2. I am not loved
3. My job is terrible
4. I weigh too much
5. My life is a mess
6. I should get organized
7. I need to exercise
8. Everyone hates me

The lack of confidence shows up most often as victim talk.  What is being said is often filled with “should”, “ought”, “need”, “have to”,”not”, “can’t”,”could”, “would”, or words that point back to another source outside of you.

A victim is controlled by the environment, a confident person controls the environment with their actions and words.

Some people are more susceptible to creating an internal world that doesn’t allow them to feel confident.   People with ADHD/ADD tend to see themselves in a negative light.   People who have received very little positive feedback feel that they are not “good enough”.   People who have lived in abusive situations, especially where they thought they were the cause of the abuse think less of themselves.

In most cases the lack of confidence isn’t true for the individual.  Thomas Edison fought through failure after failure before he reached the formula that led to a light bulb  that worked well.    Abraham Lincoln faced many setbacks in his career and yet he pushed forward always picking himself up after each defeat.  Confidence.

Of course if it was easy to go from unconfident to confident in 15 minutes everyone would be very confident.    Self-help books have all the information for someone who desires to become more confident achieve results yet less than 3% of people make lasting change through self-help books.  One reason for that is it takes more than words in a book to affect change.    It takes a sincere desire and a plan that includes some level of weekly accountability.

Lack of confidence isn’t about ability.  Most people are capable and able but they don’t believe that they are capable and everything they hear from others confirms to them they aren’t able.   This is the case of seeing what we are looking for(negative confirmation) and instead of seeing what we have accomplished we focus on what we haven’t been able to do.   If we make two steps forward and slip back one we conclude that we are a failure.   Is that really the case?

Take any high level athlete and watch them perform, they make the sport that they are in look easy.   What we don’t see is the many failures, the many times that they have  fallen and picked themselves up and continued on.

What can you do to build confidence?

1. Think positively about yourself
2. Take charge of your emotions (own them)
3. Believe you are capable
4. Practice, get up and practice some more.
5. Encourage someone (build others up)
6. Be aware of your emotions
7. Take compliments and be thankful for them
8.  Take criticisms and learn from them (what is it really about?)

In many cases it is the lack of confidence that inhibits people from taking the very actions they desire.   Make today the day that you will push through the barriers.

Henry Thoreau said, Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”, so why not start now.   Start taking the actions you need to take to move towards your dreams.

 

If you struggle with being accountable and achieving the goals you desire perhaps having a coach would help you reach your intended goal.

Make today the day you will go confidently into your world.