Tag Archives: Tal Ben Shahar

restoring happiness

At one point in your life there was a moment, even more than one, in which you were delightfully happy.  You had a smile inside of you that was just looking for a way out.  Your face light up and you effervesced a radiant glow of happiness.

Over the years the stress of life has tarnished that glow and for some that glow has been dulled so much that no light shines forth.   The happiness, the smiles, the joy of life has somehow been pushed away so much so you don’t think you can be happy again.    You may be at the point where you believe that it isn’t right to be happy and the time for happiness is only reserved for the young, the very young.

What if …

What if you could be happy again?   What if the light that has been turned off for so many years was turned back on again?   What if you shone like you did once in the past?   What if happiness was more than just a word, or a feeling that someone else has, but not you?

The truth is happiness can be restored.  Happiness can be brought out of the cellar of your heart if you let it.  Believe that there is a reason to be happy.

Happiness isn’t what you have?  Happiness is much more than the things you have.

Happiness is having a goal worth fighting for.

Happiness is sharing your gifts and talent with others.

Happiness is giving without a claim of getting anything in return.

Happiness is wholeness in being.

Happiness is acceptance of who you are.

Happiness doesn’t grow on trees, but it does grow in your heart.

Tal Ben Shahar writes, “To lead a happy life, we must experience a sense of inherent worthiness.”   We must accept who we are and believe that what have are gifts the world is waiting for.

What is standing in the way of your happiness right now?

Marianne Williamson has written, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Think about Marianne’s statement for a minute, what does it mean to you?

You can be happy once again.

your thought patterns

In the past researchers focused on negative thought patterns and depression and now researchers like Martin Seligman, Tal Ben Shahar, Sonja Lyubomirsky and Gretchen Rubin are focusing on positive thinking.

 

When a negative thought enters your mind what do you do with it?  Do you dwell on it as if it were true?   Take an example from your past, a time when a negative thought just turned over and over in your mind.   What was that thought?  

Evaluate the thought through the prism of these four questions to see if the thought is true.

  1. Is the thought true?
  2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
  3. How do you feel when you have that thought?
  4. Who would you be or what would you feel if it you didn’t have that thought?

Now, reverse the thought and change it to its opposite.

  1. Is the thought false?
  2. Can you absolutely know that it is false?
  3. How do you feel when you have that thought?
  4. What would you be or what would you feel if you did something with this thought?

 

 

Which scenario is more valid, the positive thought or the negative thought?   Which thought has the possibility of creating a better mood and better outcome?

Take time to think about the positive outcomes and your life will become more positive as a result.