“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
Yes, you do have a problem. The problem is being authentic and not pretending to be someone you are not. It happens at work, it happens at home, it happens almost everywhere you go. Being authentic, being who you really are is difficult to do when you are trying to meet the expectations of others. The lack of authenticity shows up at work as doing what you don’t really want to do and doing it because you have to. It rubs against the very nature of who you are and slowly you change the work to match your strengths.
Personal relationships can be ruined by the lack of authenticity as well. Marriages will fail if the partners hide behind inauthentic behaviors. Saying one thing and doing another or pretending to be a person you are not just to prevent loneliness creates a new set of problems that will need to be dealt with. It takes courage to be authentic and reveal the real issues that one faces to others.
For those who can be authentic is the reward of freedom and happiness. The amount of work that it requires to hide from your own reality creates a great deal of internal stress and unhappiness. Fear keeps people from being authentic and fear is what creates the masks of deception.
So, what are your problems? What masks are you hiding behind? What is it costing you?
“I am not what happened to me.
I am what I chose to become.”
~ Carl Jung
The mindset of many in today’s culture is that things happen to them, things that are out of their control, that lead to bad outcomes. No matter what is happening in their life all some people experience is the worst of life. How we experience life is a choice. We have the choice to make the most of a bad day or let the bad day make the least out of us.
Being a victim of external events removes power from anyone. Choosing to be caught in arguments, conflict, or negative situations without stepping back and pausing to see if the issue is that important puts us in a negative mental position. You can detect victim behavior by their language and how they blame others or the situation they are in for their attitude, how they can’t get things done or how bad they feel. Being a victim is a choice.
The other side of choice is driven by an attitude that says, “I take responsibility for my life and how I feel.” The person who desires to use the language of positivity will experience greater happiness and success. Those that choose to be grateful and positive will see better outcomes than those who believe that everything that goes wrong is an insult to them.
Learning how to become the person you want to be is a choice. Being the best you can be is something you can take charge of. If you know of someone who is always in the mode of a victim, who can’t seem to find positive outcomes in their life they may be a great candidate for coaching. Have them contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org for a free coaching consultation. Find out how you or someone you know can move from “poor me” to “powerful me”. It is your choice.
Are you happier?
Posted in Attitude, ego, gratitude, happiness, living life, personal success, Positive thinking
Tagged become the person you want to be, choosing to become, choosing your future, finding happiness, finding success, Matt Killingsworth, overcoming being a victim, TED talks