Tag Archives: transformational change

step into the fear and do it anyway

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
Frank Herbert

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Then end of the year is approaching quickly, what changes have you made this past year that you planned on making at the beginning of the year.   Did you live your year the same way you started it?   Perhaps you started with big goals and those slowly melted away and the year suddenly disappeared.

Often times what I hear is, “I’ll start tomorrow”, “I’ll start losing weight”, “I’ll start looking for a better job”, “I’ll start going to school”, “I’ll start _________ tomorrow”.   Tomorrow never gets here, it is always a day away. The delay becomes a story, a story about what might happen when.   There is another story that is playing at the same time.  The story of fear, the story of delaying until the threshold of fear can be breached.

You’ve heard that story, most everyone has at some point in their lives.  It is a disabling story that results in living the way that is the same as it was yesterday.   You will live your next year the same way you are living today unless you take the steps to transform your life.

The question to ask, “is the dream worth it to me?”   Is that dream of yours important.  Is losing weight really important to you?  Is finding a career worthy of you worth it to you?  Is starting a new business really that important for you?  Is taking that special vacation really that important to you?

What would make you feel more alive?  What would feeling alive look like to you?

As Mandela put it: “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

finding the blindspot

Drivers of motor vehicles know that when they look in their side mirrors that there is a place where they can’t determine if there is a vehicle there or not.  That area is the blind spot.  If the mirrors are properly adjusted the blind spot can be minimized or even become non-existent.  Now if the rear view mirror is blocked and the side view mirrors are adjusted to eliminate the blind spot to the sides you’ll miss what is happening behind you.

Coaching is about helping people discover and eliminate their personal blind spots.  Now, some would say they have no blind spots and in that case coaching wouldn’t be needed.   Coaching is for those who want to make a step forward, and then another step and another until they have found all of their blind spots.

Is coaching about taking a risk?   Some people would be afraid or unsure that coaching is something they could benefit from.  Those people who engage in coaching are opportunity-focused.  That is they see the benefits of coaching to be far greater than any perceived risks.

Could it be that we are blind to the opportunities of transformational change?  In our own examined life we don’t see that there are benefits from seeking something greater than what we know now.  For some the curiosity of opportunity is great, far greater than the work and effort it takes to change transformationally to something better than they are today.

Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging.  William James

I would imagine that many people are reluctant to challenge themselves for it is in those great challenges that growth is possible and in the growth is change and change creates fear which causes people to back down from the challenge.  A coach helps manage the fear and assists in finding the path that leads to true growth.

modalities of change

 

Change comes in different forms or modes and depending on the mode of change we accept or reject it. Our attitude on change becomes the determining factor in how we deal with the change.

Persistent change – the kind of change that wears, like water over a rock. Eventually the sharp edges of the rough surface are removed and what emerges is something smooth.

Consistent change – The world we live in is an example of consistent change, technology is often a driver for that. We live at a time where change just happens at an ever quickening pace.

Resistant change – in the advance of change is the ability to deny it (which may be true or not). Our beliefs and values are resistent to change (look at the election and party affiliation). Even change that may turn out to be beneficial is often resisted due to fear. The WIIFM (What’s in it for me) factor plays into the ability/desire to change.

Sudden change – Life is all planned and things are going well and then there is an event that demands swift action. Perhaps it is just for a short period of time and things will return to the daily/normal/predictable patterns of daily living.

Transformational change
– Something that radically transforms your world view. Your beliefs or values suddenly don’t match the direction you desire to go in and gradually you outgrow the old patterns and develop new patterns.

Transitional change – Steps that are taken to move from one state of being to a new state.

Disruptive change – Changes that force a new way of living that is not desired or welcome (loss of job, grief, death, …), or it could be positive change as well, a change in career, a change in living location, …

Chaotic change
– The kind of change that is more stressful than it should be, unplanned and untamed the change that results in setting up one pattern only to have that one displaced by something else or something old.

What kind of change do you experience the most often?

What kind of change do you resist?

What kind of changes do you want to make happen and haven’t?

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” Ghandi