Monthly Archives: May 2016

are you any happier?

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”
― Dalai Lama XIV

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Did you find happiness today?

Do you know what happiness is?

What would make you happier?

A better job.

A better relationship.

A better purpose.

A better life.

A better car.

An easier job.

What is it for you?  What would really make you happier?

What is stopping you from being happier?

Have you thought about what changes would need to be made to enable you to be happier?

If you have, then when will you start?

If not, when will you think about your own happiness.

Life is too short to be living in misery.

 

 

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cultivating resilience

“Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you’ve lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that’s good.”
― Elizabeth Edwards

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What if you had lost your job, were recovering from a major medical issue, were without a place to call home and saddled with a ton of debt?   How would you be feeling?  It would probably feel pretty depressing.  There are people who are facing all of those things at the same time and are still able to move forward.

The Wall Street Journal showcased Sheryl Sandberg’s journey through difficult times and Sheryl said this,

“The easy days ahead of you will be easy. It is the hard days—the times that challenge you to your very core—that will determine who you are,” Ms. Sandberg said. “You will be defined not just by what you achieve, but by how you survive.”

The path forward for Sheryl was in writing down what she was grateful for.  Just a few things that made a positive difference in the day made a positive difference in her life.  
It is of course far easier to blame others and become a victim in difficult times.  It is easier to withdraw and seek the comfort of a variety of distractions in an attempt to have the emotional pain and stress go away.   The problem is the pain doesn’t just go away by finding ways to ignore the pain.  The pain goes away when the pain is confronted and challenged.  The pain goes away when positive action is taken and when what can be appreciated about each day is really appreciated.
Are you facing challenging times?   Are you suffering and wishing for a way out?  
Emotional resilience through gratitude, taking time to pause and just breathe some deep breaths for a few minutes, to exercise and move is a way through difficult times.   
 Take the time to practice taking charge of your emotions.  Your body will thank you and your mind will thank you.

building the life you want …

“In life, everything is built. Have you thought about it. You built who you are, how you want to be perceived, you built your character, you chose to remain where you are, you are your own creator. You can choose to be something else. You are not what you were, you can be anything you choose to build.”
― Magnus Nwagu Amudi

Do you have plans?

Would you build a building without plans?   Would you take a vacation without planning?  Would you travel to a new destination without a map?  Would you live your life without a plan or a destination?

Without plans a building would likely be built with the wrong dimensions and without thought about how the form and function would integrate and make sense to the occupants.   Without plans a vacation becomes a stressful event – “what will happen next?”.  Plans help organize and structure future outcomes.  Plans create a sense of freedom and order in what will be built.

It seems that most people spend very little time in planning their lives and things tend to emerge in the moment.   When things just happen in a free-form way many people find that it creates a lot of stress and unhappiness.  A plan offers direction and the opportunity to realize what is important.  Drifting through life means the experiences are just random happenings.  What is your life like?  A set of random occurrences or is it intentional and planned.

Examine your life and evaluate how you are doing in these areas.  Rate each category from 1 to 10 in terms of your satisfaction in those areas.  How are you doing?  What do you want to do differently?  What would make you happier?

  1. Financial goals
  2. Career
  3. Friends/Family
  4. Relationships
  5. Health/Wellness
  6. Spiritual
  7. Recreation
  8. Personal Growth

In any area that you aren’t satisfied think about ways to improve in that area.  Create a plan with some goals and a date to reach that goal.  Work on your goals a little bit each day.  At the end of each week evaluate your progress.  Ask yourself, “Am I doing better?”  “Am I feeling better about this area?”  “What do I need to do differently?”

Start today.