“Whenever you want to achieve something, keep your eyes open, concentrate and make sure you know exactly what it is you want. No one can hit their target with their eyes closed.”
― Paulo Coelho
What does achievement mean to you? What does it mean to achieve something of value?
You decide to sleep in a little longer today than yesterday. There is really nothing calling you to jump out of bed and make something happen. It feels like there is no reason to be motivated and so a few more minutes pass by. Thoughts gather and dissipate in your mind, there is nothing that is inspiring you to take action and you wait, wait for something that will be energizing. Then in a flash there is something that gets you moving, it is something you forgot to do and now there is movement.
The motivation to achieve is something some people do really well, they are just driven to make things happen. For others this success mindset is much challenging to achieve on a regular basis.
Motivation to achieve is a force to do something you want and believe you are capable of doing. The barriers to taking action are low compared to the feeling of accomplishment when you complete the task. Things of low risk and high value are often easier to take on than things that have high value and high risk. Imagine trying to do something with low value and moderate risk, that is something that is pretty hard to start.
Achievement motivation factors:
1. An important goal or objective you want to accomplish
2. The value produced is high
3. The risk is relatively low
If you find that you aren’t moving towards a goal you have identified as important it might be because:
1. Success is not a habit for you (taking daily actions)
2. You don’t have the skills to make it happen.
3. The perceived cost/risk is too high
4. The goal isn’t important to you
5. There is no one holding you accountable
What is stopping you from taking action? What are the benefits of doing something today?
What do you want to achieve? What are you ready to commit to?
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
Have you ever stopped to think about compassionate communications? I would imagine that most people haven’t thought it about or communicated with others compassionately. It’s not really how most people think or do communications. We communicate to “say” something and then move on to the next thing on our daily agenda. Communications in many cases is “directive” communication and because there is so much directive communication coming from a variety of channels in our lives it can be ignored.
What does compassionate communication look like?
It is a 12 step process that I’ll cover in the next few blog postings. The outline of the process is:
2. Stay present
3. Create inner silence
4. Increase positive emotions/thinking
5. Reflect on your deepest values
6. Access a pleasant memory
7. Observe non-verbal cues
8. Express appreciation
9. Speak slowly
10. Speak warmly
11. Speak briefly
12. Listen deeply
(This material comes from the book, “Words can change your brain: 12 conversation strategies to build trust, resolve conflict, and increase intimacy” by Andrew Newberg and Mark Robert Waldman
The process may seem easy and even a common sense approach to better communications and it would be if it were followed more often.
“Many people think excitement is happiness…. But when you are excited you are not peaceful. True happiness is based on peace.”
― Thích Nhất Hạnh
When was the last time you experienced personal peace? In our high tech, high results world we tend to experience more stress than peace.
More and more people are in the grips of stress and it is affecting their health, their outlook on life and it is affecting their emotions. You’ve probably have seen people who are too stressed, too angry and depressed. Those people aren’t experiencing much in terms of personal peace.
It is hard to cram all of what life demands into a 24 hour day and yet people try. They take shortcuts on their exercise, their diet, and their sleep and wonder why they have a short temper, are gaining weight and feel physically ill.
Lissa Rankin has written a book about her personal question for personal peace. One of the remedies getting free of the stuff that creates a lot of stress. For Lissa it was getting away from a stress producing job and creating a less stressful way of life.
Lissa’s process can help you manage stress in your life. Healing starts with a lifestyle that is less hectic.
Because stress impacts our ability to think and keep our emotions intact, here’s another resource that can provide you with information to improve the quality of your life.
Increasing compassion in your life will help you improve your ability to relate and develop relationships with others. Being more generous sends a positive message to others and reduces tension. Kindness will do more good in a tense situation than staying angry. Take charge of your emotions and become more compassionate. Express kindness and see if it increases cooperation with others.
Imagine shifting your language to get better personal and professional results. Perhaps your interactions with others is stressed and it feels uncomfortable. Maybe the relationship with your co-workers or associates isn’t what you want it to be. There are ways to build better relationships. One way is with the words you use (take a look at the short video clip below).
Another way to increase personal peace is through meditation. Just spending a few minutes each day meditation can bring about positive emotional health benefits. To learn more about meditation practices take a look at “How to do Mindful Meditation”.
Learn how to activate personal peace in your life, to reduce stress, increase emotional well-being and to live a happier life.
Posted in Anger, appreciation, gratitude, growth, happiness, heart, stress, Thinking, Work/Life
Tagged Andrew Newberg, compassionate living, Kristen Neff, Lissa Rankin, meditation, personal compassion, personal happiness, personal peace, reduced stress, self-compassion, Shambhala, Wall Street Journal
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