New rules, new behavior

“I have a subconscious list of rules for how reality should work. I did not develop these rules on purpose, and most of them don’t make sense – which is disturbing when you consider that they are an attempt to govern the behavior of reality – but they exist, and they play a large role in determining how I react to the things that happen to me. Large enough that a majority of the feelings I feel are simply a reaction to reality not complying with my arbitrary set of rules. ”
― Allie Brosh

Think about the rules you have in your life.  You have rules for everything.  Your life is about rules, like stopping at a train crossing or stopping at a stop sign.

If you are thinking I don’t live by rules then just look at your habits.  You do have habits, things you do, things you say,  the way you approach a problem or the way you tackle each day.  You do have habits and some work for you and some don’t.

Habits are rules that we use to reduce the amount of thinking we have to do.  Habits are programs that run in the background of your consciousness and some work well and some don’t.  If you find yourself doing things that don’t produce great results for you then you might want to change some of the rules you operate by.

Sometimes the issue is trying to find the rules that you want to change so that you can change them.  Some habits/rules are so embedded in our daily life that we aren’t even aware of them.   Becoming aware of those “hidden” rules is the first step to creating positive change.    What rules are running your life the way you don’t want them to?   What would you like to change?

it’s your choice

“When faced with two equally tough choices, most people choose the third choice: to not choose.
”
― Jarod Kintz

What stops more people from achieving their desired results than anything else? It is the inability to make a choice.   People make choices all of the time but when asked what they want from life, they hesitate.  Maybe you do as well.  What do you really want?   Living the life you really want comes down to making choices.

One of the more popular questions I get asked is “How do I make a decision?”  And maybe it isn’t how to make a decision it is how to commit to that decision once it is made.  Decisions often require some level of risk.   To do one thing I give up something else, or do I?

The challenging part of making a decision is living with the decision that is made.   The second guessing of the decision or the fact that there was a cost to the decision in the first place leaves many wondering if it was the right choice.    Be prepared to commit to the decision whatever it is before you make the decision.    Believe that your decision is correct and set your expectations accordingly.

What decisions do you want to make?   How will you make them?  How long will it take to make the decision?  What will it take to commit to that decision?

Listen to a commencement speech by Jeff Bezos (Amazon.com founder)  and answer the questions.  What do you want your answers to be?

step into the fear and do it anyway

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
Frank Herbert

Then end of the year is approaching quickly, what changes have you made this past year that you planned on making at the beginning of the year.   Did you live your year the same way you started it?   Perhaps you started with big goals and those slowly melted away and the year suddenly disappeared.

Often times what I hear is, “I’ll start tomorrow”, “I’ll start losing weight”, “I’ll start looking for a better job”, “I’ll start going to school”, “I’ll start _________ tomorrow”.   Tomorrow never gets here, it is always a day away. The delay becomes a story, a story about what might happen when.   There is another story that is playing at the same time.  The story of fear, the story of delaying until the threshold of fear can be breached.

You’ve heard that story, most everyone has at some point in their lives.  It is a disabling story that results in living the way that is the same as it was yesterday.   You will live your next year the same way you are living today unless you take the steps to transform your life.

The question to ask, “is the dream worth it to me?”   Is that dream of yours important.  Is losing weight really important to you?  Is finding a career worthy of you worth it to you?  Is starting a new business really that important for you?  Is taking that special vacation really that important to you?

What would make you feel more alive?  What would feeling alive look like to you?

As Mandela put it: “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

achievement motivation

“Whenever you want to achieve something, keep your eyes open, concentrate and make sure you know exactly what it is you want. No one can hit their target with their eyes closed.”
― Paulo Coelho

What does achievement mean to you?   What does it mean to achieve something of value?

You decide to sleep in a little longer today than yesterday.  There is really nothing calling you to jump out of bed and make something happen.  It feels like there is no reason to be motivated and so a few more minutes pass by.  Thoughts gather and dissipate in your mind, there is nothing that is inspiring you to take action and you wait, wait for something that will be energizing.   Then in  a flash there is something that gets you moving, it is something you forgot to do and now there is movement.

The motivation to achieve is something some people do really well, they are just driven to make things happen.  For others this success mindset is much challenging to achieve on a regular basis.

Motivation to achieve is a force to do something you want and believe you are capable of doing.  The barriers to taking action are low compared to the feeling of accomplishment when you complete the task.   Things of low risk and high value are often easier to take on than things that have high value and high risk.  Imagine trying to do something with low value and moderate risk, that is something that is pretty hard to start.

Achievement motivation factors:

1. An important goal or objective you want to accomplish
2. The value produced is high
3. The risk is relatively low

If you find that you aren’t moving towards a goal you have identified as important it might be because:

1. Success is not a habit for you  (taking daily actions)
2. You don’t have the skills to make it happen.
3. The perceived cost/risk is too high
4. The goal isn’t important to you
5. There is no one holding you accountable

What is stopping you from taking action?   What are the benefits of doing something today?

What do you want to achieve?  What are you ready to commit to?

secrets of super-performers …

“Temperamentally anxious people can have a hard time staying motivated, period, because their intense focus on their worries distracts them from their goals.”
― Winifred Gallagher

Are you a super-performer?   Do you want to be one of those who is able to do more, live more and experience more than others?

So what do these super-performers do that makes such a difference?   One thing they do is capture an idea and with intense focus that they that idea and do something with it.   Most people have an idea and think it is great and then do nothing with the idea, other than say, “I had a great idea …”.   The high performers do something with ideas.  They take a risk.  They focus and they execute.

What else does a super-performer do?   They enable their genius.   Everyone has the ability to be a genius and yet only a few enable that genius in them.   Instead of expecting instant results genius thinking involves time and focus.   Putting both time and energy into one idea equals genius.   This isn’t about having a high-IQ, it is about doing something with what you have.   Think of those who have had startling breakthroughs in their lives, what really was different.   They maniacally pushed through those that said, “you can’t do that.”, and did it.   They took their dream and pursued it.    They didn’t give up.

You knew that didn’t you.   Did you know that super-achievers spent time with the thought leaders they wanted to emulate?   Top performers spent time with those they wanted to be like.     They raised the bar of their own thinking by learning how those who have achieved great things thought.    In a sense our beliefs and actions are limited by those we associate with.  As we raise the bar, we raise the bar for those who surround us.    That isn’t as easy to do as the others, and that is one of the key differences between average performance and super performance.

Here’s a story of a peak performance.    What did you notice about the story?

your plan for growth

“There is no condition so severe that you cannot reverse it
by choosing different thoughts. However, choosing different
thoughts requires focus and practise. If you continue to focus
as you have been, to think as you have been, and to believe
as you have been, then nothing in your experience will change”

~ from ‘Ask And It Is Given’ ~”
― Mary Ann Hickman

What is your growth plan?   You want more success, more significance, more of something and I’m asking you, how are you going to get that?   What is your plan for personal and professional growth.   Growth takes intention, intention to act and grow.

Top performers take time and invest in personal and professional growth.  To reach the level of top performance requires change.  It requires a change in ideas and knowledge.    What is your limit for personal growth?   Is it an hour a week or  an hour a month or is it an hour a day?

If you don’t have a plan then decide what area do you want to grow.   What abilities do you have that you are really good at?   What comes easy to you?   Choose a strength and improve that strength, develop that to a new level.

We only have so much time to develop our skills and working on weaknesses will only be able to upgrade your skills to average.    Average isn’t going to make a dent in the universe.   Developing in your strengths will propel you forward and allow you to make a larger contribution.   Excellence is what is going to allow you to achieve your greatest results.   What is it that you want to be excellent at?

Take some time and outline your personal and professional growth plan.   What strengths do you want to enhance?

To determine your strengths take this assessment (VIA Strengths).

Do it now.

 

Six steps to better results

There is a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in something, you do it only when it’s convenient. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.
~ Ken Blanchard

What is your process to create great results consistently?   Do you have a process that you are aware of to achieve great results?

Top performers know how to get results and they create great results by following a process.   A process is a sequence of defined steps that structure their work.  Getting more out of each day, each month and every year is important especially in the highly competitive global market that every person participates  in whether you want to or not.

There are six basic steps to get better results.   Employers want more from their employees and many employees are stuck guessing what it is that they could do to improve their results.  In part that is due to the fact their plates are full and there is little time to do more.

Here are six steps you can start doing right away that will boost your productivity.

1. Know what do you really want?   (be specific)
2. Know how or when you will be  done?
3. Know how will the result manifest itself?  (Who, where, when,what)
4. Know what can stop you from having the result right now?
5. Know what resources do you need to create the result?
6. Know how are you going to achieve the results?   What is the first step to take?

These six steps can be the foundation of a daily plan.  If you have a list of things that need to be done,  then do you know what you want to do to get the results that are desired?

Do you know what “done” looks like.   Many people don’t have a clear idea of what the finished outcome is supposed to be.   Perhaps it is because the person making the request wasn’t clear on what done looks like.  Get a clear definition of what it means to be done before starting.

Knowing what the result looks like will provide clarity in understanding what it will take to complete the work.  Know the what, where and when the result is to be produced.

Make sure you start with all the right materials before you start.  Organize your materials before you start so that you can focus on getting the work done.  It is easy to find that something isn’t ready when you need it and have your focus and productivity fall flat.   Be ready to start and when you start push through to the end.

Ensure that you know how to get the results.  Do the research up front.  Find out from others if you don’t know how to do the work.  Focus on being productive.

Those steps may look simple and they are and what you’ll find is that most people don’t follow a process to achieve their results.   Many people approach their work routinely and allow interruptions and other issues interfere with getting results.

Use the process and examine it.  Find out if you are getting more work done in less time.

Yell them out …

“If you’re trying to be miserable, it’s important you don’t have any goals. No school goals, personal goals, family goals. Your only objective each day should be to inhale and exhale for sixteen hours before you go to bed again. Don’t read anything informative, don’t listen to anything useful, don’t do anything productive. If you start achieving goals, you might start to feel a sense of excitement, then you might want to set another goal, and then your miserable mornings are through. To maintain your misery, the idea of crossing off your goals should never cross your mind.”
― John Bytheway

A New Year is coming.   It is goal setting time.   Not like last years goals which you kept quietly to yourself, but goals that you will share with others.   I want you to write down your biggest goal for 2013 and share it right here.   If you want to reach that goal someone has to know about it.   Make it big, make it bold and share it.

Keeping it a secret will be that the goal is likely to live to the end of January and you’ll save it for next year.

Thinking about losing weight … how much weight?  Not the initial number of pounds but the real number of pounds you want to lose.    Then write down “why” you want to lose that weight (you can keep that a secret if you want to).

Thinking about doing something courageous then shout it out, write it down and put a comment into the blog.   Share it!   Make it happen.   You’re doing it for you.  You’re doing it because you’ve waited long enough.   Be bold, be brave and share it.

Have you ever thought of running a marathon?   Maybe you’ve had this goal for years and you think about it and then don’t do it.   Make this the year you do it.

Some people don’t have goals because they feel that they will fail and they don’t want to share with someone something they might not do and it there would be a feeling of shame if they shared the goal.   Make this the year you decide to make the change.

Maybe it’s time to change something about work.   You’re really not happy where you are but you need the job.   Set a goal and find work you can love.  Make it happen.

Perhaps you want to take a class and you’re afraid that you might not fit in.    Then take an on-line class at Coursera (high level schools with high level classes).

Whatever it is, life and happiness surface when you have real goals and a desire to make those goals come true.   Isn’t it time?   Isn’t it time that you make this year the year you make some real changes.   Tell us!   Shout it out!

Do it now!

What’s my goal?   It is to write a book on managing ADHD and have it completed before Dec 2013.

What’s your goal?

begin

“All great deeds and all great thoughts have a ridiculous beginning. Great works are often born on a street corner or in a restaurant’s revolving door.”  Albert Camus

Begin!  That is all it takes to start something is to begin and yet far too many people put of that very task of getting started.     How many things have you put off waiting for tomorrow, the day that never comes.

Personal happiness, even professional happiness is tied directly to the actions you take not to the actions you don’t take.   Happiness isn’t something that comes to you as a result, happiness comes to you when you do something that you believe is useful.

Leadership expert John Maxwell suggests that we look at four things as that can result in having a happier life.

1. Create and nurture relationships.    People are meant to engage with other people.  Learning how to develop, grow and value relationships.

2. Make decisions.   Making decisions that support who you are and your strengths that are based on sound reasoning will improve outcomes in your life.  It takes discipline and practice to make good decisions.

3. Continual growth.   What are you doing to continually improve upon “who” you are.   That could mean additional education and skills or it could mean doing something that allows you to grow as a person, or it could be learning from the lessons of life.  Take time to reflect on each day and evaluate what you learned.

4. Adding value.   How can you add value to others?   Instead of looking at what you can get ask yourself what you can give.    Shift the equation around, how can I add value to others?   What can I bring to someone else in terms of value?   When you look at the personal development industry you’ll see countless experts giving away information, time and value, so that others can grow and develop.

What does it take to get started?    What does it take to go from waiting to beginning to make a difference?   It takes you taking action.   Stop waiting for tomorrow and start DOING today.

1. Who can you develop a stronger relationship with TODAY?

2. What decision are you holding off making?   What is stopping you from making that decision?

3. What can you do now to improve your personal or professional growth?

4. Who can you add value to?    Shift from “I” to “you”.   What can you do?

Years ago there was a movie about the continual bad news that was heard, news that help people captive to inaction, to being a victim of the circumstances rather than an owner of the solution.   The movie was  “NETWORK” and the newscaster asked people to get up and yell …    It’s time to begin and take action.