activating personal peace

“Many people think excitement is happiness…. But when you are excited you are not peaceful. True happiness is based on peace.”
― Thích Nhất Hạnh

When was the last time you experienced personal peace?    In our high tech, high results world we tend to experience more stress than peace.

More and more people are in the grips of stress and it is affecting their health, their outlook on life and it is affecting their emotions.   You’ve probably have seen people who are too stressed, too angry and depressed.  Those people aren’t experiencing much in terms of personal peace.

It is hard to cram all of what life demands into a 24 hour day and yet people try.   They take shortcuts on their exercise, their diet, and their sleep and wonder why they have a short temper, are gaining weight and feel physically ill.

Lissa Rankin has written a book about her personal question for personal peace.   One of the remedies getting free of the stuff that creates a lot of stress.   For Lissa it was getting away from a stress producing job and creating a less stressful way of life.

Lissa’s process can help you manage stress in your life.  Healing starts with a lifestyle that is less hectic.

Because stress impacts our ability to think and keep our emotions intact, here’s another resource that can provide you with information to improve the quality of your life.

Increasing compassion in your life will help you improve your ability to relate and develop relationships with others.   Being more generous sends a positive message to others and reduces tension.  Kindness will do more good in a tense situation than staying angry.  Take charge of your emotions and become more compassionate.  Express kindness and see if it increases cooperation with others.

Imagine shifting your language to get better personal and professional results.  Perhaps your interactions with others is stressed and it feels uncomfortable.  Maybe the relationship with your co-workers or associates isn’t what you want it to be.   There are ways to build better relationships.  One way is with the words you use (take a look at the short video clip below).

Another way to increase personal peace is through meditation.   Just spending a few minutes each day meditation can bring about positive emotional health benefits.   To learn more about meditation practices take a look at “How to do Mindful Meditation”.

Learn how to activate personal peace in your life, to reduce stress, increase emotional well-being and to live a happier life.

how do you deceive yourself

“Seldom, very seldom, does complete truth belong to any human disclosure; seldom can it happen that something is not a little disguised or a little mistaken.”
― Jane Austen

What do you believe about yourself?   What is your real truth?   Below is a video about people who describe themselves in one way and others describe that same person in another.   How we think of ourselves matters.

How we see ourselves impacts our ability to be our best.    Our best may be exaggerated a bit, more positive or more handsome or beautiful.   We want to believe we are somewhat better than we really are because it pushes us in some way to be that person.   If we believe we are more negative than we really are we don’t believe we can do the things we could otherwise.

We deceive ourselves for a number of reasons.  If we believe in that deception does it help us live a better life?

What do you think of yourself?   Who do you think you really are?   Are you the person you want to be?   Are you the person that others see?   What is your answer?

 

running on the hedonic treadmill

“The 7 Deadly Sins are:
Wealth without work
Pleasure without conscience
Knowledge without character
Business without morality
Science without humanity
Worship without sacrifice
Politics without principle”  Gandhi

Everywhere people are chasing something and are finding that as hard as they chase they are unable to grab hold to this elusive thing.   You may hear in their words, “If I only __________________”, then I would be _____________.  What is that second word?

Was it happiness?   Yes, people are chasing happiness and are having a hard time grasping it.   The faster you run towards happiness the greater the distance to achieve it.    Studies have been done on those who win lotteries and those people have a six month boost in happiness before returning to the level of happiness they had before their fortunate outcome.

People who are the happiest have strong relationships, a rewarding career, supportive social networks, financial sufficiency and ability to make choices. To jump of the hedonic treadmill try improving your relationships,  working at something you enjoy, and spreading happiness around.

Relationships matter

 Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. ‘Pooh!’ he whispered. ‘Yes, Piglet?’ ‘Nothing,’ said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw. ‘I just wanted to be sure of you.’ “ A.A. Milne

Positive psychology research has shown that people with good relationships are happier than those who don’t have relationships with others.

Rewarding Career

Working a career that uses your strengths and abilities leads to greater happiness.   Examine your strengths and talents and find work that leverages them.

 

 

Supportive Social networks

Happiness is contagious.  Research done by Dan Gilbert shows that happiness spreads.   If someone else is happy you’re likely to catch some of that happiness and spread it to others.  Find people who are supportive and happy and spread it around.

 

 

Other happiness indicators are:

• Financial Sufficiency – having enough money
• Democracy – sense of choice, empowered
• Religion – increased sense of fulfillment
• Praise to criticism ratio of 3 praises to 1 criticism

“In a true partnership, the kind worth striving for, the kind worth insisting on, and even, frankly, worth divorcing over, both people try to give as much or even a little more than they get. “Deserves” is not the point. And “owes” is certainly not the point. The point is to make the other person as happy as we can, because their happiness adds to ours. The point is — in the right hands, everything that you give, you get.”   Amy Bloom

Three ways to increase happiness

“Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.”  Nathaniel Hawthorne

Happiness is something many people strive for and fail to achieve.   Happiness can be elusive to some and easy to obtain for others.   A new film called “Happy” is documenting happiness, where it is found and how people live a life of happiness.

Recent research provides some steps to achieve greater happiness.   The study of happiness is growing and is a reflection of the positive psychology movement and the strengths movement.  Markus Buckingham one of the leaders in the strengths movement shows people why strengths are important in this short video.   People that use their strengths are happier.   Don’t know your strengths then got to viastrengths and find out what your strengths are.

Another aspect of happiness is purpose.    Having a purpose increases happiness.   Knowing who you are what you are gifted at doing and having the ability to use those gifts increases happiness.    If you haven’t found your purpose or aren’t sure you have a purpose take a look at this.   See if you can figure out your purpose, you’ll be happier when you do have a defined purpose.

The third element of happiness is developing relationships.    Relationships that work well increase happiness.  As we approach the holiday season many people feel stressed due to the fact many relationships aren’t what they should be.   Here are some hints on dealing with broken relationships.

Three steps to increase happiness.

1. Know your purpose

2. Strong and deep relationships

3. Knowing and using your strengths.

What are you doing to increase your happiness?   Happiness is part choice, part development and to some degree inherited qualities.   Choose to be happier.  Choose to develop your strengths and choose to develop deep and meaningful relationships and you will be happier.    Maybe you have a story about how you found happiness, what is it?

be

“We are so obsessed with doing that we have no time and no imagination left for being. As a result, men are valued not for what they are but for what they do or what they have—for their usefulness.”  Thomas Merton

Much of what we are is a reflection of what we do.   Doing doesn’t leave much time for creating something new.     For so much of our lives we are focused on generating what we believe to be an image of success.  Our identity is wrapped up in what we do not in who we are.    It is easy to hide in your identity of the past or your  identity of the future.    Our identify becomes a habit, a habit we support with the accolades of those we impress.

Og Mandino writes, “the point is to learn to find  those things that let your feel exhilarated and alive”.    The point is at some place in our life we stopped taking risks, stopped putting in that extra effort and stopped living.    Stepping outside of habit requires us to:

1. Be creative

2. Be concerned

3. Be courageous

4. Be caring

5. Be alive

6. Be passionate

7. Be enthusiastic

Define your identity in terms of your “being”.   What would your identity be?   Choose the words that state boldly who you are.   Leave the words “hope” and “if” by the wayside and choose powerful words that describe who you will be and who you are.

Don’t ask permission to “be”, just start being.

“I believe life is to be lived, not worked, enjoyed, not agonized, loved, not hated.” Leland Bartlett

3 secrets

” The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”   Mark Twain

The doorway to success

What is the secret to success?    It is doing three simple things.   By doing these things you have more vitality during the day.    You’ll feel alive and be able to think clearly.    You’ll be able to feel the air pulse through the body.   You’ll be able to focus and stay alert.   You’ll feel happier and more grateful.

So, what are the big three.

1. Exercise – as simple as it may seem exercise increases the production of dopamine and serotonin in the body.  These hormones increase the sense of well-being and can improve focus and alertness especially for those with ADHD/ADD.    Exercise is something most people lack.  In today’s fast paced world most of the work is done sitting down with little physical activity.      Taking breaks to energize the body by increasing the respiratory rate and heart rate is a good practice.   Better physical conditioning helps improve immune function.   Exercise is a win-win proposition, a win for the mind and a win for the body.   What is stopping you?

2. The second big secret and it appears to be a secret because it isn’t done nearly enough and that is eating a balanced diet and drinking the right amount of water.  Drinking water, it’s cheap and available yet we spend a lot of money purchasing other drink alternatives.    Save money and drink more water.

Diet in America is poor.  Obesity rates are climbing quickly and all states exhibit obesity rates of 20% or more.    The availability of cheap high calorie food might be to blame but so is the fast paced society we live in where preparing healthy meals has given way to meals that can be prepared in a few minutes or seconds.

Health issues increase dramatically as the weight  increases.   There is a greater risk of diabetes, a disease that can be controlled by diet and exercise and yet as a society more and more people are becoming diabetic.

The secret, eat less and eat better.  Drink more water stay hydrated.   Headaches are often a result of not drinking enough water.

3.  The final secret even though there are hundreds of studies on this topic is getting enough sleep each day (7-8 hours).   High performers get the sleep they need to continue to perform well.   It is possible to get results on a few hours a sleep a night for a short period of time but for the long-term, the right amount of sleep is critical.

The formula for success is living an active healthy lifestyle.    If the body isn’t healthy the mind isn’t as healthy as it should be either.   Living a lifestyle of positive choices improves longevity, improves overall well-being and reduces the chances of having expensive medical care.   You would think those would be great things to have but many people are making choices that push the responsibility of their health to the medical field.   Why?

What are you doing to live a positive healthy lifestyle?

be of value everyday …

“Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.”   ~John Wooden  ‘ They Call Me Coach’

Everyday is a day to be of value to someone.   No matter where you are or what business you are in you can be of value to someone.   In fact it is better to create value, to add value to everything you do.

Create value in some fashion or in some manner for someone or some cause.   It might be something simple and easy to do.  It might be a kind word, a word of thanks, or a word of appreciation.    Add a smile to your day, a smile has power and value, try it.   As an experiment try smiling at someone  you don’t know, just smile and experience the power of a smile.

Consider the work you are doing today.  What one thing can you do to improve the quality and or lower the cost of the services you are providing?  How can you add more value?   In a world where there is more and more competition it is important to find competitive differentiators into the work environment.

Albert Schweitzer said, “I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.”   Serving is another way to add value, immense value to a world that is suffering.

Look at the relationships you have, how are you adding value to the most important relationships you have?    It is easy to neglect or ignore important relationships because there is an assumption that it will always be there.  Given the statistics on divorce in America those assumptions are probably incorrect.

And finally, be of value to yourself.    Focus on your diet, take time out to get exercise  and make sure you get enough sleep.   If you’re not healthy it is difficult to add value to others.    Spend time developing yourself and that means turning off the TV and opening a book instead.   Living in a media saturated culture means that we are being bombarded with a lot of useless information (the news is filled with useless information) and it would be better to focus on information that is positive.

1. Add value to others

2. Add  value to your work.

3. Add value to your relationships

4. Add value to yourself.

“Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.”  Albert Einstein

no strings attached …

“I’ve got no strings
To hold me down
To make me fret, or make me frown”  from the movie Pinocchio

What would it be like to not have so many strings  holding you down?

“I need help making a decision”

“I need a new job”

“I am in debt and don’t know what to do”

“I am divorced and a couple of kids, and a job that I don’t like, what do I do?”

“I am in a business that isn’t making any money, what do I do next?”

“I have ADHD can can’t concentrate or focus, who will hire me?”

“I want to work for myself.  I don’t like being tied to a desk all day long.   What do I do next?”

“I hate my job but I love the people I work with and I can’t just quit”.   Imagine working at a job you hate to do where you’re not appreciated by the people who hired you.   The work gets more tedious each day you walk into the office and you have to have a job because there are bills to pay.   Not only are there strings from the job that hold you captive there are other strings and bills that have to be paid, mortgage, insurance, car payments, phone, internet, TV,  and many other things that make life easier (with strings attached) to pay for.

Are you feeling bound by the strings of life?   What would it feel like to start untangling that web of string that is robbing you of the joy you want to experience?

Letting go of the strings.

1. Take responsibility for your life, all of your life.

2. Create a vision, for your future.

3. In 5 years where do you want to be?

4. In 3 years where do you want to be?

5. In 1 year where do you want to be?

6. In 6 months where do you want to be?

Start today.  Take each string and untangle it and then create a plan to remove it until there are no strings attached.

If you should wonder why, then give this movie a try.

Find a way to detach those strings that are holding you back from living the life you desire.

“It may be that we are puppets-puppets controlled by the strings of society. But at least we are puppets with perception, with awareness. And perhaps our awareness is the first step to our liberation.”  Stanley Milgram

living with less anxiety

“With stress levels continuing to rise all over the world, people are becoming more conscious not only of the long-term effects of stress, but also of how unmanaged emotions compromise the quality of one’s day-to-day life, limiting mental clarity, productivity, adaptability to life’s challenges and enjoyment of its gifts. At the same time, most of us have experienced how positive emotional states, such as appreciation and care, add a quality of buoyancy and coherent flow to our lives, significantly enhancing our efficiency and effectiveness.”  Research Overview; The Institute of HeartMath

People are stressed out.  Not just a few but many are weary of the everyday impacts of the noise of “news”, the constant bombardment of negativity so it is no wonder that people are suffering from all kinds of problems.   Our thoughts lead to emotions and emotions are what we use to determine how our life is going for us.   Anxiety attacks, panic attacks, worry, loss of self-esteem, lower job performance, loss of purpose, and more can all be tied emotions that have become overwhelmed.    Demands on individuals have never been higher and continue to rise daily.  

The bad economy and loss of security in the workplace is only increasing worry and anxiety.   College students worry about their careers and finding meaning in their lives.   Parents try to balance the needs of children with work.    Time seems to blur and days grow shorter and the “to do” list grows longer. 

It is no wonder that there is a lot of emotional stress in people’s lives.  

Emotions play a huge impact on the decisions that are made and how happy a life one experiences.   At some point the fear and anxiety just becomes a habit.  Any new thought triggers a moment of fear.   Doc Childre writes that “Anxieties that have become ingrained are just there.  They rule your life, and you never even noticed you handed power over to them.”  (Transforming Anxiety pg. 27).  

The way to overcome anxiety driven moments is to first recognize the event that trigger the anxiety/fear.   Let the moment pass and try to understand where the emotion came from.  The next step is to decide if that fear and anxiety was justified.  What was the really happening?   What can you do about it once you recognize that negative impulse of energy was there?   Identifying and understanding where the feeling came from is one step in reducing anxiety in your life.

It isn’t just moments of anxiety; it is all the draining emotions that are experienced that can be tamed and transformed.   The image of self can be transformed once there is a conscious understanding of where the feelings came from.  

What steps can you take to start lowering anxiety and fear in your life?

 (next time … thoughts that drive decisions)

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”
Marcus Aurelius