it’s time for a new beginning

“Endings are abstruse, mystic and unreal. They are but depleted beginnings purposed to be substituted with newer ones.A transition of outlook and time, similar to our differing moods before and after slumber. Before the act we witness an exhaustion, a sulkiness but on gaining consciousness, we’re rejuvenated and good humored.  The wakefulness is the new beginning whereas the tension the disturbance we perceive each night is the weariness of the beginnings, of each day. So there never really is an end, all that there are are beginnings. Beginnings which are promising, which offer hope, which have a new leash on life, which neither denounce nor belittle rather soothe and console by reconstructing the broken pieces of yesterday, mending them and reinforcing them with courage and beauty like never before.”
― Chirag Tulsiani

 

 

 

A few short days from now it will be time to design, develop and create a new plan.  A plan that will help you do better, to live more fully, to exhibit greater joy, to experience life at its best.  It’s time to being again.

Break free from the troubled past and embrace the unfolding moment with vigor.   Change what you can change.  Focus on becoming your best.  Maybe it didn’t happen in the past 12 months so make it happen in the next 12.  Give it a try.

 

questions unanswered

“Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke

Do you have unanswered questions?

Have you defined your purpose for your life?

Is your life richer because of the questions you have?

What about happiness is that something you question?   Will I be happy?  What does happiness look like?  When was the last time I was happy?

Do you ask those types of questions?

Some people know the questions exist and do what they can to run away from those types of questions.   Sometimes there is fear in knowing the answer.  Perhaps there is the belief there would be pain if you knew the answer.  How can I be happy when _____________?

Are you kind to yourself?  How do you talk to you?   Do you talk with kindness and gentleness or is your inner dialog more about condemning who you are?

What questions are you running away from?

What would it mean to have an answer to your biggest question?

Get a dose of happiness here.

What is your biggest question?

Share your questions.

break free from the ego

“The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, person and family history, belief systems, and often nationalistic, racial, religious, and other collective identifications. None of these is you.”
― Eckhart Tolle

It was holding him back from being the person he wanted to be.   He wanted more and knew that he had it within to do more and at the end of the day little got done.   The ego held his hand back from making a call, from finishing the last touches on a piece of work, and from realizing his dreams.

I’ve heard from many people the story of wanting more and doing less.   The ego always stepped in fear filled and delayed action.   Procrastination is a sign of an ego that is not pleased with past results.  Perfectionism always says it isn’t good enough.   The ego fears rejection and would rather see things delayed or not getting done at all seeped in a belief that it wouldn’t be good enough.

Courage is the antidote to inaction.   The courage to take action, to push against the ego and see beyond the fear is what will open the door to freedom.    The “ego” that is pushed beyond its own fear will be able to grow.  With growth there are opportunities that were hidden.   The abundant life is behind the door that is being blocked by the ego.

For most people pushing the ego aside so that they can confront their fears is hard to do, it doesn’t happen easily.   Believing that you don’t have what you need to be successful is to believe in the voice of the ego.  Believing that you have what you need now to do what needs to be done is the first step to living an authentic life.

What is the ego saying to you?

What is preventing you from living life fully?

What is stopping you from living out your dreams?

Listen to yourself.  What are the feelings that show up when you read those questions?   What is the truth about you?

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”   Anais Nin

do more great work

“Our doubts are traitors,
and make us lose the good we oft might win,
by fearing to attempt.”
― William Shakespeare

Are you held back by your own doubts?   Doubt cripples the ability to do great work.   What great work do you want to do?

For some people they are driven to do something great with their life and push on those thoughts everyday, taking action to make things happen.  Others, sit in a cubicle and wish they were doing something else, something that was exciting and used their skills and talents fully.   Are you using your talents fully?

There are those that do have great jobs, great pay and are admired by others but some of those people are plagued with doubt, “Am I good enough to do this work?” or “Is the work I am doing appreciated by anyone.”    I’ve heard stories of people wondering if the work they are doing really matters.    Are you one of those people who is wondering if their work matters?   When I ask them if they have talked to their manager about their work they say, “No, my manager doesn’t have time” or “I’m not sure I should talk to my manager.”   If your manager doesn’t have time to talk to you how would you know how you are doing.   If you feel unsure about talking with your manager then what type of relationship do you have with your manager.   A manager should be serving you and helping you to be your best so that you can do “great work”.

If you aren’t doing great work what is stopping you?

create your luck

“The monster I kill every day is the monster of realism. The monster who attacks me every day is destruction. Out of the duel comes the transformation. I turn destruction into creation over and over again.” 
― Anaïs Nin

There are a lot of people hoping they can win a million dollars so they can start living the life they want to live.  Hope is held in the form of a lottery ticket.   Most of the time that ticket won’t bring the promise of a better tomorrow.  The ticket doesn’t offer a hope for the future.  It might be the easiest thing to do, to spend a couple of dollars in printed ink on a ticket,  and hope that the numbers will be the lucky ones.

There is a better way to create the future you want and that is to create a plan to build that future yourself.

What do you want your life’s work to mean?   What kind of work do you want to do?

What do you want your life outside of work to mean, to look like and to feel like?

What do you want your internal life, your spiritual life to be like?

What do you want to contribute to the world around you?  What difference do you want to make in your community?

Luck happens when you create opportunities for good things to happen.   Life isn’t like a lottery ticket where if you are lucky success surrounds you.  It takes effort and consistent action towards a powerful vision for your life.

What are you doing to create your luck?

rejected again

“Over the years, I have come to realize that the greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity, or power, but self-rejection. Success, popularity, and power can indeed present a great temptation, but their seductive quality often comes from the way they are part of the much larger temptation to self-rejection. When we have come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable, then success, popularity, and power are easily perceived as attractive solutions. The real trap, however, is self-rejection. As soon as someone accuses me or criticizes me, as soon as I am rejected, left alone, or abandoned, I find myself thinking, “Well, that proves once again that I am a nobody.” … [My dark side says,] I am no good… I deserve to be pushed aside, forgotten, rejected, and abandoned.” Henri J.M. Nouwen

The answer is “No!” and  you’ve heard this several times in the past week and you believe that it isn’t the question, it is you that is being turned down.  “No” can feel like rejection if it is heard enough times.   Is that true? Is it true that a response to your request that is not favorable to you is a rejection of  you?

Often people find that when there request is denied that it feels like they are being rejected.  The wonderful idea that was rejected was a compilation of many hours of work, and how dare someone say “No” to the idea, project or design.  It just can’t be right, turns into I am not right. What is rejection?   Is it saying “No” or is it saying something else?

There are many people who fail to achieve their best because they feel they will be rejected.  So instead of living fully, they live a life or regret.

Wouldn’t it be better to find out if you could create the life of your dreams?   Wouldn’t it feel better to try and see what could be done?

Believe in “who” you are and accept a “No” with thanks.

go beyond your comfort zone …

“Be fearless. Have the courage to take risks. Go where there are no guarantees. Get out of your comfort zone even if it means being uncomfortable. The road less traveled is sometimes fraught with barricades bumps and uncharted terrain. But it is on that road where your character is truly tested And have the courage to accept that you’re not perfect nothing is and no one is — and that’s OK.”
― Katie Couric

Are you ready to break the chains of complacency?   Are you ready to start a new year in a new way to get new results that will lift your life higher than it has been in the past?   Are you ready to make this new year a better year for you?

Get ready to think about ways to change your life.  Take a look at this video.

Make this the day you start your life over with a focus on what you want.

Are SMART goals smart?

“Let today be the day you stop having conflict between your actions and your goals and finally align your greatest intent with your purposeful actions, creating a universal symphony serenading your success!”
― Steve Maraboli

Having a well defined set of SMART goals was at one time a great thing to do.    SMART goals are defined as “specific”, “measurable”, “attainable”, “realistic” and “time bound”.   It was a way to frame an objective and provide a way of making progress.   Now, some believe that SMART goals aren’t described in such a way that they would create a breakthrough outcome.   SMART goals are designed to be safe goals, goals that are realistic and attainable that have a measure of value and progress.   Is it time to break the rules?

Progress is made when we push the boundaries and go beyond what is expected.   SMART goals may push the envelope but they also keep us inside the box.   SMART goals are designed to minimize risk and increase the chance of success.   Minimizing risk means not taking the necessary and sufficient risk to create something new.    SMART goals may mean SAFE goals, and is that what you really want if  you are intending on making substantial change?   Of course not.

A recent report suggests that there are other factors that drive people to change or create change.    A list of eight factors:

1. Picturing the end result – ( a visual image of a result)

2. Learning new skills to accomplish the goal   (growth)

3. The goal is necessary  (urgency and importance)

4. Creating own goals    (ownership and empowerment)

5. Access to training to accomplish the goals   (resources)

6. Pushed outside of the box   (risk)

7. Benefits go beyond self    (significance)

8. Goals align with objectives  (purpose)

It seems that goals need to be purposeful, significant, involve risk, with access to resources, have personal ownership, create growth and are clear.   Of course those don’t ideas don’t spell out some easy to remember word.

Goals create change and that is often resisted in favor of comfort.

In organizations the idea of risk taking isn’t promoted.   If a risk that is taken doesn’t provide a positive result then it is assumed that the time, effort, and materials were lost.   Maybe that is why small companies take risks, many risks to hit on a great result.   Experimenting and getting an answer quickly may be more useful.

What would help you achieve great things?

lead your ship

“The ship of my life may or may not be sailing on calm and amiable seas. The challenging days of my existence may or may not be bright and promising. Stormy or sunny days, glorious or lonely nights, I maintain an attitude of gratitude. If I insist on being pessimistic, there is always tomorrow. Today I am blessed.”
— Maya Angelou

You are the captain of your ship, the ship you sail in calm seas and when the seas a full of rage.  You are the captain of your ship.   You lead the crew even if it is only you on  your mission through life.     Do you know where you are going?

Be clear on your destination, know where you want to go and have a plan.

Be certain that you are willing to do what it takes to get where you want to go.

Be committed to taking the steps that will allow you to achieve your goals.

Three simple ideas that take work and effort in order to realize a result.

1. Clarity

2. Certainty

3. Commitment

We are approaching the time of year that people are ready to start off with something new, something that will redefine their life for the better.   It takes willpower to move  through the resistance that will be created when you undertake any level of personal change or professional change.

Lead your ship.   Move away from the  dock and move out into the seas of change.   Experience growth, challenge and the satisfaction when push yourself beyond your personal boundaries. 

You can lead!

 

Competence or confidence

“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.”
― Paulo Coelho

Confidence or competence …

Getting the right job and staying in the right job requires two things, confidence and competence.   Confidence comes from practice and all too often people expect great things without practice.    Practice build competence and competence builds confidence when there is positive feedback, when there is success in the practice.

Take a look at the Olympic athletes they made the Olympic team after hours and hours, weeks and weeks of practice and competition.     Practice builds competence and then confidence follows when the practice is reviewed and evaluated.   Find out what you learned after each practice session.   Find out what worked well and what could be improved.

To build confidence and competence start out with an objective. What is it that you want to get better at? What would allow you to have a better career, a better relationship, a better image of yourself, a better financial situation or a better life. What is it that you are willing to work on so that you can start getting the results you want?

Objective. What will need to change? What new skills will you need? What improvements in the skills that you already have? Identify what it is and then figure out what it will take to move you to the level you desire to be at. If it is losing weight then look at the objective and decide what will get you to the desired weight. Is it eating less? Is it more exercise? Is it having someone hold you accountable to your goals? Or is it someone who is willing to share the experience with you, someone who will cheer you on?

Practice.  This is the doing part of the process. It is the hard work and it takes discipline and effort to get results.  Be patient and be consistent.

Feedback.   After you practice evaluate what you are learning.   Improve what you are practicing by honest fair feedback about the progress you are making.  What small changes can you make to improve the results of your practice.

Competence.  Over time you’ll notice that you are getting better that you are getting small but consistent improvements and moving towards your goal.  You are getting more and more competent.

Confidence.  With competence comes confidence.  Confidence gives a feeling of “I can”.   With more practice it the confidence is bigger than “I can” it is automatic.   It turns into unconscious competence.   You no longer have to think about what you are doing, it is automatic, it is part of your being, the unshakable knowledge that you can do it consistently.

Here’s a talk that helps you see that picture of confidence.  Take a look.