where are you going?

“Man is not born perfect. He is born incomplete, he is born as a process. He is born on the way, as a pilgrim. That is his agony and his ecstasy, too; agony because he cannot rest, he has to go ahead, he has always to go ahead. He has to seek and search and explore. He has to become, because his being arises only through becoming. Becoming is his being. He can only be if he is on the move.”  Osho

Have you spent any time at all planning out what you’d like the next 10 years to look like?

What do you really want to happen?  Do you believe that you have the power, skills and abilities to create the future you want?

It’s time for your mid-year check-up.  It’s time to evaluate the progress you hoped to make.  It’s time to forge a new set of objectives if your current ones aren’t working for you.   Create a list of things you want to accomplish this year.

In what areas do you want to grow and improve?

Are you focused on exercise, diet, sleep and mindfulness?

  • How much sleep are you getting?
  • How is your diet?
  • How much exercise are you getting?
  • Relax, take a deep breath or a few and restore your energy.

Are you living the life you want to live?  Are you aligned with your purpose, goals and dreams?

Spend some time and check-in with yourself.  Journal some thoughts that you’ve had.  What is working?  What isn’t working?   Make the adjustments and finish the year strong.

 

 

 

beckon happiness

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”    Marcus Aurelius

Your happiness … your thinking.

Would you like to increase your happiness – would you just like to be happier?

One way to increase happiness is to release the past (anger) and think about today, not tomorrow (anxiety) or next week, but just today.   By letting go of anger you’re letting go of the past.  The people I’ve talked to all have said there is nothing that they can do to change the past – so why live there.   There is nothing that can be done to change the past and by letting it go you permit yourself to experience greater happiness.

Take a deep breath.  Maybe a few of them, 3-5 minutes.  Get into a comfortable chair or position and just do some nice slow deep breathing.    Put on some nice music and put life on pause for a few minutes.  Deep breathing can really help calm the nerves and help you relax.  Go ahead try it.

Remove negative thoughts.  Are your thoughts true?   How do you absolutely know your negative thoughts are true?  Ask yourself, “How does this thought make me feel?”  and then “What would it be like if you didn’t hold that belief?”  In a few minutes you can test your thoughts and find out if they are helping or hindering you.

Take a moment to write down in a journal your thoughts.  Doing this before you go to bed helps you sleep better.   Better sleep means a better tomorrow.  Journaling is a way to release the past (what just happened) and allows you to examine your day.   What did you learn today?  What did you experience today?  What can you do to make it better tomorrow?

Increasing your happiness is just a few easy and quick steps away.  Start today.

survive or thrive

“Only you can decide how far you get to travel in life. Therefore, you definitely owe it to your future self to be courageous and ambitious enough to strive and thrive without limitations.”
Edmond Mbiaka

Take time to hit the pause button on your life.

How did you do today?   Did you just survive the chaos of the day?  What was it like?  How does it feel to be spending your time and energy only to just survive the day?  It doesn’t feel so good does.  It can feel draining.  It can be filled with anxiety, stress and turmoil.   A lot of people are just surviving the day.   Careers go sour when the focus is on just surviving.  If I get through today then I’ll be OK.

Are you one of those who are just surviving the day?   Do you find it hard to get out of bed in the morning?  Do you feel drained and used up by the end of the day?  Do you believe what you do matters?   Does your boss believe you matter?  When was the last time you were complemented on your work?  How many hours are you being asked to work?  How much time do you have off?

What does it mean to thrive?   Araianna Huffington wrote, “Nothing succeeds like excess.”  We live in a world where “more” and “having more”  drives us to be doing more, working more hours, earning more money, filling the day with more activity.  At the end of the day – there is nothing left – there is no more.  Day after day of pushing yourself to the limits doesn’t result in a better life, it results in a battered life.  Thriving isn’t about just surviving the day-to-day race.  Thriving is about living a rich life, and by rich meaning a life that includes time to relax and find peace.  A thriving life is one that has time, enough time for family, friends, personal growth, contribution and time for you.  Thriving means that you do have time and you don’t feel rushed and you don’t feel that the day has to be absolutely packed with activity.

Part of the reason to completely fill each day with activity is because everyone else is doing that, filling their life with stuff.   Eating becomes a quick stop at a fast food restaurant and the food is consumed as you drive to the next event.   Sleep can be reduced to just a few hours, maybe 4 or 5.  It is no wonder people are totally exhausted much of the time.

What would it take for you to thrive every day?   What would you want to change to feel like every day mattered more than yesterday?   What can you take out of your day that will give you time to relax and recover?

leadership lost

“Power isn’t control at all — power is strength, and giving that strength to others. A leader isn’t someone who forces others to make him stronger; a leader is someone willing to give his strength to others that they may have the strength to stand on their own.”
― Beth Revis

 

You may have heard about the recent event on United Airlines that resulted in having a passenger forcibly removed from a plane.   It was an event that you’d think would never happen unless that passenger was threat to others or the plane.  In this case it was just someone unfortunate enough to be “randomly” selected to give up their seat to an United employee.

The event is a great lesson in leadership or the lack of leadership.  Years ago a great experiment was conducted, “The Stanford Prison Experiment” which demonstrated that just following the rules can lead to unwelcome outcomes.  Something similar happened when the gate agents followed their rules and asked for some help from the security contingent.   The security team decided to forcibly remove the passenger (just doing their job).   In the process of removing the passenger, the passenger was injured.   As it turns out people will conform to their roles and act accordingly.

When leadership doesn’t empower their employees to provide great customer service they rely on the rules, rules that don’t take into consideration the meaning and real value of the people who are to be served.

What would need to change for United to be a customer focused organization?

 

pause

In meditation we discover our inherent restlessness. Sometimes we get up and leave. Sometimes we sit there but our bodies wiggle and squirm and our minds go far away. This can be so uncomfortable that we feel’s it’s impossible to stay. Yet this feeling can teach us not just about ourselves but what it is to be human…we really don’t want to stay with the nakedness of our present experience. It goes against the grain to stay present. These are the times when only gentleness and a sense of humor can give us the strength to settle down…so whenever we wander off, we gently encourage ourselves to “stay” and settle down. Are we experiencing restlessness? Stay! Are fear and loathing out of control? Stay! Aching knees and throbbing back? Stay! What’s for lunch? Stay! I can’t stand this another minute! Stay!”
― Pema Chödrön

When was the last time  you stopped what you were doing to do nothing?

What was the last time you stopped to take in a deep breath just to feel the air filling your lungs?

When was the last time you stopped to watch the sky change colors?

What was the last time you dipped your hand into a stream?

Busyness crowds out living.  Being busy and doing things is what most people are trained to do.  People are trained to start moving at sunrise and to stop moving when there is no energy left to move.  Tomorrow crowds out today.   Life is filled with anxious moments of pleasing others.  Am I good enough?

Take time to put life on pause.   Just stop for a few moments and watch your thoughts.  What are your thoughts telling you?   Do you really want to know?

Put yourself on a diet.  Stop doing so you can start being.  Most people are “doing” and that is like eating fast food for every meal.   Too much doing crowds out the nourishment of being.

It’s time for a pause.

I don’t need help …

“No matter our talent, we all know in the midnight of our souls that 90 percent of what we do is less than our best.”
― Robert McKeegoldsunise-2

Are you doing your best?  Are you the best performer at work, at home or wherever you are?  Maybe you don’t have to be the best.  Maybe you can get by with what you are doing now.  Maybe you don’t have to expend the energy to do better or be better.  However if you do want to be better, how are you going to do that?

The vast majority of people have a lot of untapped talent they could use to do things better, to live life better, or to contribute more, or to be a better person and they don’t do anything about it.   “I don’t need help …”  might be their inner mantra.  I don’t need any help to be better.  I can do it myself.

Most top performers realize that reaching their peak performance does require some outside assistance.   It is about breathing air into an aspect of life that has been left untapped that can result in a new level of personal or professional performance.  Maybe it is eliminating some hidden fear that keeps the person from realizing their full potential.

Have you asked the questions, “What would it be like if I could be just 4% better than I am now?”  What would that be like?  What would that mean to future opportunities or more personal happiness?   The default future is yours if you want it that way.  The created future, the exciting, bold rewarding future is yours as well.  Which path do you want to travel?

 

uncommon teamwork

“Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. The ability to direct individual accomplishments toward organizational objectives. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.”
― Andrew Carnegie

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Uncommon.  It’s uncommon to honor real teamwork.  It is common to select individuals from a team and point out their achievements.   This week something uncommon will happen.   The UConn women’s basketball team may achieve a remarkable feat – 100 consecutive wins.   It hasn’t happened before.  It’s uncommon.

In an age that celebrates individual accomplishments, the “I” it is uncommon to see how a real team can perform and accomplish something really uncommon.

What does it take?  It takes leadership to get there.  It takes commitment from each team member to work for the benefit of the team.

Now, because it is a women’s team that is achieving this remarkable goal it will not likely be a major news story.  If it were a men’s team it would be written about how great the coach is and how great the team is and how great each team member is.   Why is that?  Excellence is excellence no matter if it is a male team or a female team that is achieving extraordinary results.

Teams win … individuals contribute and it takes great leadership to create the conditions and culture for teamwork to thrive.  This year the UConn women’s basketball team has the chance to realize 100 wins an amazing feat.

When you look at what you do, are you focused on team wins or individual performance?  Who are the people working as teams?   Who are the individual high performers?  What would you like to see more of teamwork or individual performance?

Remember teams win … is it uncommon?