“Leadership is a process where a leader has a purpose oriented destination and lets the followers find the best way to get there with a common vision and goal.”
― Debasish Mridha
In your organization are you given directions or a destination?
What is more powerful, the directions or the destination?
Too often people are given directions on how to do things rather than being given a destination to head towards. Give people the power to determine the direction. Give people a powerful destination and people with engage with enthusiasm to reach the goal.
“The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.”
― C. JoyBell C.
Relax, reflect and look ahead
It’s close to the end of the year. It’s time to wrap up projects, personal projects as well as those professional projects. How many of your goals did you achieve?
This is the time to get things done and prepare for a new set of objectives for 2016. What did you do this year? What was remarkable about what you did? Did you even notice how you were doing over the past year or did it just fly by in a blur? What was the best part and what was the worst part?
It might have been an ugly year for you or it might have been the most spectacular year of your life, what did you learn? What do you want to do to make 2016 better?
What do you want to accomplish before the year ends?
For many people the last two weeks in the year is a time to recover and just relax. It is time to think about what is coming next and a time to start dreaming again. For some people this year was a hard year, challenging them in so many ways. Was your year challenging? Was it something you wanted to forget? If it was challenging then now is the time to just reflect and relax. It is time to reset expectations and a time to forge a new dream. What will you do?
What do you want next year to bring? Are you ready to begin?
“Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm. Take action towards your dreams. Walk your talk. Dance and sing to your music. Embrace your blessings. Make today worth remembering.”
― Steve Maraboli
Follow the path to your dreams
“I’m just not that motivated” said one client.
What does that mean? What does it mean to not be motivated? Isn’t motivation a choice that you make? It almost sounds like there are no choices, no goals, or no actions that could be taken.
What do you do when you don’t feel motivated?
Wait
Watch TV
Dream
Dream. That would be the starting point for creating something worthwhile pursuing. It isn’t likely that waiting would help you get motivated. TV is certainly not a motivational tool. Spend some time writing down some things you would love to do. Dream BIG. Step outside the boundaries you have and dream about things that are just absolutely beyond what you know you can do today.
Write down those dreams. Then pick one of those dream ideas and just think about what it would take to make that dream a reality. What elements would be needed to make that dream a possibility? Money, Time, Knowledge, Experience, People, … What would you need to make that dream start to take shape?
Understand the gap between your dream and your current reality. What would need to change to enable you to pursue your dream? What are those big gaps? What can you do to close those gaps bit by bit?
Create a plan that enables you to realize your goal in small bite-sized chunks. Then take action. Do a little each day. Push through the resistance.
“Be thankful for a breath of fresh air to be alive and well. Allow love and happiness to penetrate throughout your mind and soul. Take time to relax and live in the moment, the now, the present. Enjoy today.”
― Amaka Imani Nkosazana
Did you know that most people don’t live their dreams? Some people live the dreams that others have for them and live a life of regret. Others don’t have a dream to push towards and live each day as it comes and live a life of regret. Whose dreams are you living for?
Someone asked, “Write a story.”
“A story about what?”
“A story about your life”
“A story about my life – what is there to tell.”
If someone asked you to write your story or to tell your story what would you say? What do you want to say? What do you want to write?
Wouldn’t it be nice to write, “I lived my dreams.”
“What were your dreams … tell me more.”
“Umm, I didn’t live my dreams … I ….”
Now, do you want that to be your story? Do you want your story to end with, “I didn’t ….?” Most people don’t want their story to end at a dead end street. I am thinking that you don’t want your story to end their either.
So, why not build a story by living out your dream. If you don’t have a compelling vision of your future then it’s time to create one. It’s time to start writing your story that doesn’t end with “I didn’t”.
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” Joseph Campbell
Hero‘sJourney
Epic in nature, it is your journey through change and life. It’s your story and it is about your outer world, the one you see, and your inner world which remains hidden.
As we figure out what we want we have to make choices that involve what we can do and who we are. The hero’s journey is about discovering who you are to do what you want.
The journey involves facing some of your deepest fears and when you are able to face those fears and battle with making a change then you are able to grow. Tackling your fears is where having someone with you to identify what is holding you back is beneficial.
Where are you in your journey? Are you struggling and not sure why? Are you stuck or trapped and need a helping hand? Are you growing or are you staying put?
“Nobody ever talks about the pyramids that weren’t built, the books that weren’t written, the songs that weren’t sung. Stop letting your fear condemn you to mediocrity. Get out of your own way. Your dreams are a poetic reflection of your soul’s wishes. Be courageous enough to follow them. There is no greater time than now to experience the full power of your potential. Make this the day you take the first step in the beautiful journey of bringing your dreams to life.”
― Steve Maraboli
“We are set in our ways, bound by our perspectives and stuck in our thinking.” ― Joel Osteen
Sometimes people seem to be stuck in the past. I’ve heard people talk about how they want to change up until the moment they have to do something to create a change in their life. They are stuck right where they are, bad job, bad relationships, bad finances, bad friends, and just about everything is bad from their point of view and they only want to tell people how bad things are.
Stuck! Stuck right where they are in misery. They say they want to make a change and can tell you everything that they want to change, or maybe it is that they really want the world around them to change to meet their view of the world. Imagine that you could get a better job just by complaining about the one you have right now. Imagine a marriage being fixed by just complaining about it. Imagine living in abundance just by complaining about it. For some people that is what they want, complaints that turn into results. It doesn’t work that way.
Being stuck can be comfortable when the alternative means making a change. Change requires facing a fear, the fear of something that could go wrong. Our brains are tuned so strongly to listen to fear that it drowns out the power of a great idea. “What if I fail?” rather than “When I succeed”.
When we experience failure we have to plow through the whole grief cycle.
1. Denial – this possibly can’t be.
2. Anger – who’s fault is this anyway, certainly can’t be my fault.
3. Bargaining – there must be some mistake here.
4. Sadness – I’m not sure I want to do anything
5. Acceptance – Maybe there is an alternative.
How many people want to experience going through the grief process? It might be that those who are resilient and realize that temporary setbacks are just that temporary, they are learning experiences rather than a statement that says, “I’m not good enough.”
So, what do you do? What does it take to push through the barriers of fear? Look for the positive aspects of change rather than being held back by the fear of change. How fast you progress through the grief cycle will have some impact on your level of happiness.
“Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen Hard.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Appreciate your friends.
Continue to learn.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.”
― Mary Anne Radmacher
Is your life working for you? Are you at the weight you desire to be? Are you working at the career you love? Do you have great relationships with others and yourself? Are you learning and growing? Are you finances where you want them to be?
If you answered “no” to any of those questions then what are you doing to create the outcomes you want? Many people would like to change and attempt to start and then stop. Dieters do this all of the time. They get on a diet and lose some weight and think, “wow, that was good and now I can celebrate”. The celebration goes on and on and so do the pounds. The rebound is greater and the weight gain is greater. What sets in after feeling terrible about not losing the weight, eating more. Eating food is the pain-killer for being overweight.
Finances, it just feels right to spend and buy things. It feels good to buy things and then it feel terrible to see the bill come in the mail. The budget is out of whack again and it feel terrible. Why not spend a few dollars for things you don’t really need, it will feel better.
Is your career killing you? Do you dread dragging yourself into work everyday? Oh, you’ll get yelled at again. No one but you appreciates the work you do, and if you’re the only one that cares about the work then why do it. Have your ideas been tossed aside when your manager says to your great idea, “Yes, but …”?
What do you want to change?
This is a good news, bad news scenario. If you want to change it is possible and if you don’t want to change than nothing can be done. A therapist, coach or counselor isn’t going to be able to help you or encourage you to change. Change is something you want to do. If things aren’t working out in your life and you just want things to be different then it might not happen unless you are willing to do some work.
Change is intentional and you have to be intentional about make change happen for you.
Intentional change theory has been explored by Richard Boyatzis of Case Western Reserve University, here is part of the concept.
“Often people attempt to live their lives backwards, they try to have more things or more money in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are then do what you need to do in order to have what you want. ”
― Margaret Young
Career choices …
People are desiring to look for a new job. A recent survey by Right Management indicates that many people are dissatisfied with the work they are doing right now. This means there is the potential for a substantial shift in what and where people work. While the sample size is relatively small it indicates that the work and amount of work that people have to do are not matching up with what employers want their employees to do.
Are you one of the many who are polishing up their resume and checking out the want ads for a new position?
If you are you might want to look all around you for ways to make that career transition work for you.
1. Search for your name on Google. What shows up? What is your on-line reputation? Will those who are looking for you find the “right” you on-line. What does your Facebook account contain? What do you tweet? What does your linkedIn profile say about you? Know what your on-line presence is and know how others see you.
2. Understand “who” you are. If the job you are in right now isn’t working for your skills and needs aren’t being satisfied by the work you are doing. Know who you are before you start your job search. This is a dig deep process into who you are. Take the time to know your strengths, talents and abilities before you touch up your resume and look for work that you are doing today. Doing the same work in a different location may not be the best thing for you.
3. Create a strategy. Have a plan. Know what you want before you start looking for a new job. Once you have a clear idea of what you want to do, research job positions that align with your purpose. What skills are required? What training is needed? If you need to develop skills make that part of your plan to get the skills needed to transfer to a new role or career.
4. Tune your resume to match the job you are looking for. Often people take adjust their work to match who they are. That is even given a role with a certain set of expectations they will slowly change the job to match who they are, and do what they like rather than do what is expected. If you find yourself changing what your role is in your job then you might be in the wrong job. Do what you like doing and find the job that allows you to do that. Fighting your way through each day is an indication that you may not fit the job you were hired to do.
5. Adjust. Looking for a new job is one of adjustments and tuning. Be willing to make small changes in your resume to match job descriptions and needs. Be willing to adjust where you are looking and how you are looking. Find out what is getting you results and what isn’t.
“Some ideas are not born of logic and good sense. They are made of clouds and cobwebs. They sprout from nowhere and feed on excitement, sprinkled with adventure juice and the sweet flavor of the forbidden. The psyche moves from the realms of the ordinary and takes a delicate step towards the unknown. We know we shouldn’t and that is exactly why we do.”
― Brigid Lowry
What are your dreams? No, not the things you dream at night, but your dreams, desires and longings? What do you really want to accomplish in your life?
What actions have you taken to get your dream off of the ground?
If you’re like most people you haven’t taken your dreams seriously. You might be thinking dreams are for those other people, those people who have the time, the money, the …., the something you don’t have.
Your life has the greatest meaning, the greatest potential when you put into energy and heart into living out one of your dreams. Think about it, what makes you come alive most? Is it the work you are doing now? Is it?
Take a step towards living that dream. Maybe it’s making a small change in your life. Maybe it’s taking a vacation that you’ve been thinking about for years. Maybe it’s time right now to start doing rather than dreaming about your dream.
Explore the dream … see what a dream can look like for you.
“Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen Hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.” — Mary Anne Radmacher … Continue reading →
Coach with Heart 