how do you know?

“The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.”
― C. JoyBell C.

How do you know if you are living your life in the best way possible?   Have you spent time evaluating your own progress through life or are you just going with the flow?

Have you thought about your life plan (if you have one)?

What do you think your purpose is?   Your purpose for work, life, relationships, personal growth, finances, health/fitness, relationships and spiritual perspective, have you defined what you want to be doing in those domains.

I think it is important to focus on those core life elements and strengthen them.   It helps create a greater sense of peace in your life so that you aren’t just existing, but existing with purpose.  With a well defined purpose you have a starting point from which to define goals that enable you to realize your purpose.

What are  your major goals that you want to achieve?

What is stopping you from setting new more powerful and exciting goals for your life?  When do you think you’ll take that step to define your future in a way that aligns with your purpose?

 

 

surviving or thriving in the workplace

… it is possible to heal. It is even possible to thrive. Thriving means more than just an alleviation of symptoms, more than Band-Aids, more than functioning adequately. Thriving means enjoying a feeling of wholeness, satisfaction in your life and work, genuine love and trust in your relationships, pleasure in your body.”
― Ellen Bass

Are you thriving at work or are you one of the people who finds Monday filled with anxiety?   It seems that many people are finding that work is becoming more stress filled and more anxiety ridden.  Expectations are increasing, more tasks are being added to the daily work expectations and workers are on edge with those new burdens.    What does an employee do?   Continue to absorb the requests of management or find ways to create boundaries that enable success in the workplace?

If you are surviving in the workplace what would you want to see changed?

• What would it take for that change to take place?
• What kind of request do you need to make?
• What would happen if you did make a request for change?   How do you know?

If you are thriving in the work environment what makes it work for you?

• What enables you to thrive?
• What do you get to do that you love doing?
• What keeps the stress manageable?

If you’re not thriving in the workplace what could be done to increase your satisfaction?

• Do you have a mentor to consult?
• Do you have a trusted adviser who could help with some ideas?
• Do you work with a coach?

If work is a daily grind find some support so you can start changing how work is impacting your life.   Take time for breaks to breathe and decompress.  Find time to meditate for a few minutes.  Move, get up and walk to reduce the tension  you experience.

Find a way to thrive in your life.  It will be better for you emotionally, spiritually and physically.  It’s your life, make it your best one.

become an elite performer

‘The ultimate reason for setting goals is to entice you to become the person it takes to achieve them.”   Jim Rohn

What is an elite performer?  An Olympic athlete,  a top CEO, world champion, top actor or actress.  Who do you know is an elite performer?

Are you an elite performer?   No!  Why not?

Elite performers have a mental mindset that is focused on following a process that generates successful outcomes.  The realization is that elite performance comes from the right state of mind and focusing on the process.  When the process becomes a habit your actions flow naturally towards a state of being that enables elite performances.

What would it take for you to become an elite performer in any area of your life?

Look at each aspect of your life, your work, your wellness, your finances, your relationships and your environment and ask yourself, “what can I do to make one of those areas better”   Develop the processes that would increase your ability to perform better.  Don’t settle for average or doing just enough to get by, do something that would allow you to create an epic performance in life.

Elite performers use 100% of their ability to produce the outcomes they want.   It takes practice to use all of your abilities in producing the best results.

To become an elite performer:

1. Set a goal
2. Create a process that enables the desired outcome
3. Practice the process until it is a habit
4. Focus on executing the process with consistency

The confident performer is one who has practiced with consistency and has allowed the process to produce the results.   The elite ice skater has practiced over and over their routine until they can do it without thinking about it.   You can do the same thing in your work as well.

 

do live your dream

“Be thankful for a breath of fresh air to be alive and well. Allow love and happiness to penetrate throughout your mind and soul. Take time to relax and live in the moment, the now, the present. Enjoy today.”
― Amaka Imani Nkosazana

 

 

 

Did you know that most people don’t live their dreams?   Some people live the dreams that others have for them and live a life of regret.  Others don’t have a dream to push towards and live each day as it comes and live a life of regret.    Whose dreams are you living for?

Someone asked, “Write a story.”

“A story about what?”

“A story about your life”

“A story about my life – what is there to tell.”

If someone asked you to write your story or to tell your story what would you say?   What do you want to say?   What do you want to write?

Wouldn’t it be nice to write, “I lived my dreams.”

“What were your dreams … tell me more.”

“Umm, I didn’t live my dreams … I ….”

Now, do you want that to be your story?   Do you want your story to end with, “I didn’t ….?”   Most people don’t want their story to end at a dead end street.  I am thinking that you don’t want your story to end their either.

So, why not build a story by living out your dream.   If you don’t have a compelling vision of your future then it’s time to create one.   It’s time to start writing your story that doesn’t end with “I didn’t”.

Start writing your story today.

better results through better planning

“The majority of people don’t want to plan. They want to be free of the responsibility of planning. What they ask for is merely some assurance that they will be decently provided for. The rest is a day-to-day enjoyment of life.”

B.F. Skinner

One thing that I find that is pretty consistent is that people with plans experience better results and enjoy greater happiness.

A simple plan written down will create space to achieve results.  Set your day up for success.  Write down the goals you want to achieve and then schedule those goals.  Block out time for those specific important activities.

When the time comes to start the task, turn off the phone, turn off the email, turn off the distractions and focus on achieving the goal.   What happens if you don’t turn off the distractions, those distractions will interrupt your ability to get the results you want.  Focus on the goal.

Having a plan and following the plan will help you realize uncommon success. Confidence increases when goals are achieved.    Plan your day so you can get better results.

Write down your plan for today now.

 

ADHD: Principles of Structure

“You are where you are and what you are because of yourself, nothing else. Nature is neutral. Nature doesn’t care. If you do what other successful people do, you will enjoy the same results and rewards that they do. And if you don’t, you won’t.”
― Brian Tracy

 

 

People with ADHD believe that they want less structure in their lives and yet the more structure they do have the more freedom they experience.  Structure creates freedom.

In the mind of a person that experiences ADHD multiple thoughts disrupt a consistent behavioral pattern.  That is why someone with ADHD who starts out to complete a task can be easily taken off course by noticing something that could be done (though it could be done later) that doesn’t need to be done right now.

Where does one start?

Start with a daily plan.  Plan the day in 30 minute blocks and decide what is going to fill those blocks.  You can span multiple blocks if you want.  The idea is to schedule your day rather than you day scheduling you.   Schedule your non-work hours as well.

Start with something simple (as shown below) and extend it for the full day.  You can use it to track where you time is going  and then make some decisions on how you want to spend your time.

	Work	Personal Care	Home	Children	Email	Web	Chores	Travel	Other	Comments
6:00AM
6:30AM
7:00AM
7:30AM
8:00AM
8:30AM
9:00AM
9:30AM
10:00AM
10:30AM
11:00AM
11:30AM
12:00PM
12:30PM
1:00PM
1:30PM
2:00PM
2:30PM
3:00PM
3:30PM
4:00PM

Get your day working for you.

Find out how you are spending your time (what is the reality) and then review that information.  Use that information to make some decisions on how you want to spend your time.

After you know where the time is going create the schedule that will work for you.   If time is being lost in unproductive or useless activities schedule that time for something that is beneficial for you.

To get start track how your time is being spent for a week.  Track all the things you do.  It doesn’t have to be super precise, just good enough to understand what is really happening in your life.

We’ll look at ways to turn unproductive time into productive time next time.

desire to grow

“The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.” 
― C. JoyBell C.

Are you growing?   Are you developing your profession?  Are you investing in yourself?   Are you becoming more than you were yesterday?

Many people leave out their own growth in the quest to live a happy life and find that working on all the other things while important doesn’t always lead to a happier life.  Personal growth in some shape or fashion does help create change, change towards something better.

How many books have you read this year?

What kinds of books are you reading?

How is new information helping you grow?

What do you want to grow towards?

Stay curious and grow.

overcoming resistance

“Be of good cheer. Do not think of today’s failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost.”
― Helen Keller

What are you resisting doing?   It may be as simple as getting out of bed in the morning and resisting starting the day.   You can tell you are resisting taking action on something when you do something else instead of the “one” thing you have on your “I should do list”.   You’ll think about starting doing something and then you’ll do something else, something that is more pleasing.  You’ve been there haven’t you?

Write down a list of things you resist doing.    For each item on that list write down what your feelings about those tasks.   What do you feel (anger, depressed, tired, anxious, …)?

Now, for each item you expressed a feeling for, probably a negative feeling, then ask yourself,

Step a.    “Could I accept this feeling of ____________”.
Step b.   “Could I release this feeling of ____________”.   (Release is to let it go)
Step c.  “Would I release this feeling of ____________”.
Step d.  “When will I release the feeling”.

Ask yourself those questions and go through them.   If you can’t let it go the first time go back and repeat those questions again.

Basically you are giving yourself permission to release the resistance.  Once you have let it go the resistance to completing the task will start lowering.  Tackle the task and get the result you want to get.

Practice those steps and see if you can reduce your reluctance to start and complete things you don’t like to do.

Here’s another approach to overcoming resistance.   Try one.

how do you want to be remembered?

“Laugh, even when you feel too sick or too worn out or tired.
Smile, even when you’re trying not to cry and the tears are blurring your vision.
Sing, even when people stare at you and tell you your voice is crappy.
Trust, even when your heart begs you not to.
Twirl, even when your mind makes no sense of what you see.
Frolick, even when you are made fun of. Kiss, even when others are watching. Sleep, even when you’re afraid of what the dreams might bring.
Run, even when it feels like you can’t run any more.
And, always, remember, even when the memories pinch your heart. Because the pain of all your experience is what makes you the person you are now. And without your experience—you are an empty page, a blank notebook, a missing lyric. What makes you brave is your willingness to live through your terrible life and hold your head up high the next day. So don’t live life in fear. Because you are stronger now, after all the crap has happened, than you ever were back before it started.”
― Alysha Speer

One of life’s great questions is:  “What do you want to be remembered for?”

What will your life story mean?  What fingerprint will you have left on this world?  What difference will you have made?

If your inner voice is filled with complaint, blame, anger, dissatisfaction or disappointment then create a new path for your life.   Start living your life by giving to the world you live in your genius, your spark, your creativity, your ideas or your time.   Give to the world and the world will give back to you, perhaps not in the currency you anticipate but in ways that will reward you far greater than you can imagine.

Here’s the  challenge.  What can you do to make a difference in this world?

What will your masterpiece be?   What will your shining moment be?  What will your Mt. Everest event be?   Describe your work of the art to the world.  Write it down and give it life.

How do you want to be remembered?   What do you want to be remembered for?

step into the fear and do it anyway

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
Frank Herbert

Then end of the year is approaching quickly, what changes have you made this past year that you planned on making at the beginning of the year.   Did you live your year the same way you started it?   Perhaps you started with big goals and those slowly melted away and the year suddenly disappeared.

Often times what I hear is, “I’ll start tomorrow”, “I’ll start losing weight”, “I’ll start looking for a better job”, “I’ll start going to school”, “I’ll start _________ tomorrow”.   Tomorrow never gets here, it is always a day away. The delay becomes a story, a story about what might happen when.   There is another story that is playing at the same time.  The story of fear, the story of delaying until the threshold of fear can be breached.

You’ve heard that story, most everyone has at some point in their lives.  It is a disabling story that results in living the way that is the same as it was yesterday.   You will live your next year the same way you are living today unless you take the steps to transform your life.

The question to ask, “is the dream worth it to me?”   Is that dream of yours important.  Is losing weight really important to you?  Is finding a career worthy of you worth it to you?  Is starting a new business really that important for you?  Is taking that special vacation really that important to you?

What would make you feel more alive?  What would feeling alive look like to you?

As Mandela put it: “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”