expectations or agreements

“Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and
he will become as he can and should be.”
― Stephen R. Covey

 

Have you ever been told you didn’t meet expectations?   What did that feel like?   Were you even aware of those expectations?   Expectations are somewhat like a barb wired fence, as careful as you can be sometimes you’ll get caught on the sharpened barb.

People place expectations on others without explaining or providing the content for those expectations.   That leaves you to guess what others think you should do and that often leads to conflict, or in the workplace, demotivation.

Why do expectations lead to conflict?   Expectations are those things that if you are able to meet are rarely acknowledged.  Expectations that are missed are usually commented on and often in a negative fashion.  In the best case you often hear nothing positive and in the worst case you end up feeling upset, angry or frustrated.

A better approach would be to create agreements.   Agreements are co-created and include a commitment and a target for achieving the outcome.  Agreements can be managed where expectations are just that, an expectation that something will get done.  When an agreement isn’t met then the parties to the agreement can talk about what didn’t or did work out.

In what parts of your life are expectations causing problems?   How could an agreement be created that would replace those expectations?

 

what’s missing?

“If you think something is missing in your life, it is probably YOU…”
― Robert Holden

Have you ever had that feeling that something is missing in your life?  Have you taken the time to find it?

For some people life is a struggle.  It’s not that it has to be a struggle it is just the way they believe things are.   I’ve heard, “I just can’t do this kind of work.”, and they lament the very fact that the work is challenging instead of looking at how they could make those challenges smaller.  They could learn more or dig into the material that they don’t understand and find ways to learn the material.   In other words they could chose to attack work rather than letting work attack them.

“I don’t have enough time to do all the things I want to do.” and I’ll guess that you’ve uttered those words when the amount of things in life just seem overwhelming.   The list of things to do just keeps growing and it is starting to crowd out what you really want to do.   I’ll ask those people, “what do you really want to be doing? or what is most important to be  done now.”   After a few minutes a list of important things becomes visible and the unimportant things also become visible.  From there it is a choice – “what do you want to do with what you have on the list?”   Prioritization and making sure that the list of things to do are the things that matter most.   Figure that out and there is time for you.

Are you struggling?   Not just having a difficult time but really struggling to be your best self.  What are you doing about it?  What is missing in your life?

For some people it is motivation and they aren’t finding the energy to do something.   When you’re not motivated what do you do about it?   What keeps you in the game?

Do you have problems just getting started on something?   Is it easier to wait, for another few minutes, hours and then days?  Pretty soon that project, that idea, or inspiration just falls into the heap of the undone and unnoticed.

Where are you?   Do you have all the things in life that you want to have?   What’s missing?

 

 

directions or destination

“Leadership is a process where a leader has a purpose oriented destination and lets the followers find the best way to get there with a common vision and goal.”
― Debasish Mridha

In your organization are you given directions or a destination?

What is more powerful, the directions or the destination?

Too often people are given directions on how to do things rather than being given a destination to head towards.  Give people the power to determine the direction.  Give people a powerful destination and people with engage with enthusiasm to reach the goal.