positivity for greater success

“We all have ability. The difference is how we use it”
— Stevie Wonder

What would it mean to you to improve your mental outlook?   What would it mean to feel better, have fewer headaches, fewer pains and aches, and less stress?   It is all available to you by changing your thoughts.  Change your thoughts and you change your emotions.   

Your thoughts produce your emotions.   It may take a few minutes to think about that so do just that, think about what that means.  Let’s say something happens outside of your control, like a rock hits your windshield as your driving down the road.  ”Smack” … it’s loud, and for a second you may not know what has happened.   The car is still moving forward and you are trying to figure out what has happened.  You brain is in overdrive.  The adrenaline is rushing out through the body.   Flight-Fight-Freeze, which action are you going to take.   Your brain wants you to do something but you don’t know what that something is.    Now you see a crack on the window starting to form … and now you’re wondering what the cause was.  What is it that you are saying?   What words are you using and what thoughts do you have?   The more you think perhaps the angrier you get, or maybe you’re thankful that it wasn’t worse.   You’re thinking about what happened and generating emotions of relief, anger or something different.

What if we thought positive thoughts rather than negative ones, what do you think would happen?  Well, you’d start feeling better.   A bad day could become a great day.  Whatever it is you’re making a conscious choice to feel or be something.

Listen to Barbara Fredrickson explain how to generate positive emotions.

high engagement

“Control leads to compliance; autonomy leads to engagement.”
― Daniel H. Pink

Do you work in an environment that wants your strengths, talents and abilities?  Do you work where you are expected to do as your are told?

Which work environment would get the most out of you?   The first one or the second one?

What gets you engaged in the work you are doing?

- The work

- The people

- The culture

- The environment

- The purpose and mission of the organization

- The values of the organization

- The perks and benefits

When you have a new idea, how it is received?    Does the culture bring in the voices of the introverts?   Does the culture promote professional development?  Does everyone contribute?   Do non-performers seem to hang around forever?    Are their systems in place to help employees perform at higher levels?    Does the company move quickly or does it take forever to get a new idea or process in place?   Is there a focus on being better?

A great organization is going to help you be successful.  Your part is to make the organization successful through the skills you have.   If the work is boring or isn’t adding value, why would you work there?   If you aren’t using your skills to your best ability then find out how you can make a bigger contribution.

Does the company “reward” employees and celebrate successes?  Are there reviews when things don’t work well to find out how to make things work better? That isn’t a witch hunt, it’s a sincere effort to improve processes and results.  Business growth is based on learning and people learn through experimentation and finding out what doesn’t work (some would call that failure).

What kind of company or organization do you work for?   Is it liberating the best from you on a consistent basis?   Are you growing and being challenged with new work?   What are you bringing to the table, is it your best?

Answer the questions.   Are you working to your full potential?  Do you love what you are doing?   Are you able to do what you love?   What is important to you?

Are you engaged in the work you do?

nothing works until you do

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”
― Eric Roth

People lament the fact that organizations don’t change in the right way.  Personal growth, professional growth, individual habits, weight loss, a better outlook on life, career, or relationships don’t change until you decide you want them to change.   All to often we wait for something else to change in the world to make us feel better.  It is really the other way around.  We have to change to feel better in the world.

There is nothing that will satisfy you or fill you up with happiness or joy unless you are open to letting new things into your life.   It means you may need to make changes in your life in order to experience life the way you would like to experience it.   Want a better career than you have to be the person that is capable of having that better career.

If you are wondering what will make you happy then find out how to make other people happy.  You grow into happiness, happiness doesn’t appear and happen to you, you have to be open to happiness.

It all starts with a change of mindset, a new state of mind.  The question is what will it take for you to make the changes to get more out of your life.   It starts with a goal, your goal, for something better in your life.

Making your life better doesn’t start with something else change it starts with your change, your desire to make a change.   It all starts when you decide that you want to make a change.   There is no treatment, no magic bullet, no amount of “others” asking you to make a change that will cause a change to happen “in” you.   It is a step that you have to make.  It is that first act of courage that says, “I want to make my life better.”    What will it take for you to take a step forward in your life today?

…”yes, but” …

“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked. “Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.” “How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice. “You must be,” said the Cat, or you wouldn’t have come here.” — Lewis Carroll

What do employees want?   What do you want? Are you working in an organization that is helping you grow to be the best employee ever?  I thought so.   Perhaps you’re wondering why you come into work every day.  You have ideas and you want to see things improve and as soon as you present your idea, you hear , “yes, but …”.   The “but” erased every ounce of that idea and threw it away.   We would “but” we can’t because of X, Y or Z.  That one little but said, “your idea isn’t good enough.”

Employees want their place of work, their manager to exhibit four key characteristics.

1. They want to feel like they belong and they are cared for.

2. They want the ability to grow and advance.

3. They desire feedback and encouragement from their manager’s.

4. They want to know feel like they matter, that they are respected.

Now, most companies would say, yeah, that is what we do.   In reality it is what most companies say they would do.  The daily pressures of performance have driven caring into “we only care about results”.    Maybe you hear, “Our budgets have been cut so we can’t do that.”  What they are saying is that you don’t matter and we don’t want to hear what you have to say. What is it that you hear from those you work for, “yes, but” or “yes, and”?  

The “yes, and” manager is going to be the one who is looking for ways for you to succeed or to provide options for your growth.    

As you go through your workday listen to what is being said.  What do you hear?   What is the typical type of language that is being used?   Are you hearing more “buts” or more “ands”.  

getting over toxic management …

“Resistance is the most toxic force on the planet.”
― Steven Pressfield

Maybe you’ve worked for someone who sucks the very life out of your soul at work and you dread going into work and performing at the level you want to.   For most people you can’t run from the toxic manager.   Running is often not the option most people have and that is just what they would want to do.    The toxic boss can be overwhelmed with the pressures they are experiencing to not really knowing how to be a leader and understanding the needs of those who work for them.   There are toxic manager’s who believe that their power is at risk unless they bully others and expect people to bow down before them.

There things you can do if you can’t leave the job and do something else.  Some people don’t leave because they fear they’ll find something worse and that may be true.   Let’s look at some ways to make the best of a bad situation.

1. Understand or try to understand the pressures of being a leader or manager.

2. Realize that if there is anger being directed at you it is often an issue with the person with the anger.

3. Have a true confidant you can talk to, therapeutic complaining works as long as it doesn’t drain the person you are talking to.  In other words be careful on how much complaining you do.

4. Meditate as a way to control and manage the stress.

5. Diffuse the anger from a toxic boss, “It is understandable that you’d be upset with _____________”

What have you experienced?  Have you worked with a toxic manager?  What was your approach?   What did you learn?

 

who do you see in the mirror?

“Mindfulness helps us get better at seeing the difference between what’s happening and the stories we tell ourselves about what’s happening, stories that get in the way of direct experience. Often such stories treat a fleeting state of mind as if it were our entire and permanent self.”
― Sharon Salzberg

Are you really the person you think you are?   You might be thinking, this is a trick question, or of course I’m the person I think I am.   It is interesting that studies show that American’s have an inflated view of their abilities and how they perform.  This recent study about teacher’s shows that most teachers believe they are highly effective.   College professors are at an amazingly high level of proficiency where 94% believe they are above average.

Teen drivers believe they too are above average.  Startling statistics show that most people are above average drivers.     So, are all drivers above average?  Of course not.   What is happening is that people want to feel better than average.  Who can be an average driver?  It’s the other person isn’t it?

Scientific American recently printed an article on the increased sense of optimism many people have.   The optimistic self may have a better chance at advancing in society, career and life.   After all who wants to hang out with a depressed person.

When you are looking around at other people, what do you see?  Are they the ones that are above average or is it you that is above average?  Who is this average person anyway?   Is there such a person?      When you look in the mirror who is looking back?   Is it the above average person or is it someone else?

How does being above average serve you?

how do you deceive yourself

“Seldom, very seldom, does complete truth belong to any human disclosure; seldom can it happen that something is not a little disguised or a little mistaken.”
― Jane Austen

What do you believe about yourself?   What is your real truth?   Below is a video about people who describe themselves in one way and others describe that same person in another.   How we think of ourselves matters.

How we see ourselves impacts our ability to be our best.    Our best may be exaggerated a bit, more positive or more handsome or beautiful.   We want to believe we are somewhat better than we really are because it pushes us in some way to be that person.   If we believe we are more negative than we really are we don’t believe we can do the things we could otherwise.

We deceive ourselves for a number of reasons.  If we believe in that deception does it help us live a better life?

What do you think of yourself?   Who do you think you really are?   Are you the person you want to be?   Are you the person that others see?   What is your answer?