ADHD Awareness month …

“Insecurities have the ability to shape and mold our minds to live with everything that’s bad; like crying on the inside, while smiling on the outside…thus creating pain…but, alas, I have the answer; forget about what you thought and enjoy (embrace) what you feel”
― Jeremy Aldana

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There are a lot of adults with ADHD (Attention Deficit(Hyperactivity) Disorder) and it impacts every day of their life in ways that don’t always produce positive results.   ADHD is like looking at the stars … too many ideas, too many thoughts, and too many things forgotten.

People with ADHD are often very creative and intelligent and struggle with things like staying on task, staying focused, getting things done on time or just being organized enough to remember the next appointment.  In a world filled with distractions people with ADHD are over distracted and that can impact their work, their relationships and their sense of well-being.

Learning how to manage ADHD can improve the life of a person with ADHD.   Learning about ADHD can help the people without ADHD understand how ADHD impacts those with ADHD.

Between Oct 26 and Nov 1 there is a FREE virtual conference on ADHD that you can sign up and attend.   If you know of someone with ADHD then have them sign up and learn the latest in ADHD management strategies.

You can sign-up here REGISTER FOR THE VIRTUAL ADHD CONFERENCE.  Register today and find out ways to take charge of ADHD (for you or someone you know).

facing mighty challenges

“When you stand at the bottom of the mountain and look up at the mountaintop, the path looks hard and stony, and the top is obscured by clouds. But when you reach the top and you look down, you realize that there are a thousand paths that could have brought you to that place.”
― Roz Savage

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You’ve come to a point in your life where the only way forward is over the biggest challenges you’ve ever faced.    What will you do?

Some people get stuck in the valley and stop.   Others stare into the past and reflect on what could have been and others retreat and take the path back from where they came.

To grow and to experience life fully requires that you chart a path towards your biggest challenges.  Face them head on.  Create a plan and move forward towards something bigger than what you have now.   Bigger doesn’t necessarily mean more material rewards, it means bigger life rewards.

What is it that you are dreaming to do?

The reward is on the other side of the mountain, the very mountain you need to climb.  Face the fear and start climbing.

Advance confidently – surrender

“Now is the only time you have. Change is happening. Give up your desire to control the world”
― Kelly Martin

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How many times have you tried to take control of your life or someone else’s life and it just didn’t work?   Perhaps you took control of a project that you were working on and things didn’t turn out the way you expected.   In order for you to get the things you want you had to be in control and that worked until it didn’t.

The more you try to control things the less you really do.   Control is like pushing against a brick wall with the hope that it will soon give way to your urging.  The wall doesn’t move and you use up a lot of energy in the process.

The path to increased control is through surrendering.   Eliminating the need to control all aspects of your life will permit you achieve more in less time.   If you’re stuck in traffic and no one is going anywhere getting upset and desiring control won’t get you moving.  Surrendering your emotions to the moment allows you to have some peace even at zero miles per hour.

If control creates stress and it usually does when things aren’t going the way you want then as the stress increases your ability to think clearly and rationally decreases.  When stress moves into anger then even more of your cognitive abilities are compromised.  Releasing the anger and tension restores your ability to deal with the situation.  In other words you are surrendering to the moment to respond to the issue.

In some sense surrender means giving up your need to be right to accept the truth in the current circumstance.  More internal peace provides more positive energy to change plans, think more clearly, make better decisions and improves conflict outcome results.

Think about ways surrendering could help you lead a more satisfying life and see how you can advance confidently along your chosen path.

release the inner worrier

“If you have fear of some pain or suffering, you should examine whether there is anything you can do about it. If you can, there is no need to worry about it; if you cannot do anything, then there is also no need to worry.”
― Dalai Lama XIV

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What does worry accomplish?  As far as I know worry has accomplished nothing. Either there is a way to solve a problem or there isn’t and worry does nothing to help solve the problem.

Worry is the anticipation of a negative outcome based on a story that you strongly believe.   For most people I simply ask them, “Is that story true?”   Most people don’t believe the story is true and so I ask them, “How will worry help you?”  The usual answer, “It won’t”.

So, “Why worry?”

The big challenge is trying to release the “what if” thoughts the mind can conjure up.  The mind is looking for some way to brace for a potential negative outcome.  In other words “fear”.    Fear downs out the hope of today in exchange for the uncertainty of tomorrow.

Release the worry and replace it with practical actions you can take.  Understand what you have control over and what you don’t.  If you can’t control it or change the circumstances you’ve been placed in worry won’t help you.    A student may worry about getting a good grade on a test.  In that situation they have control over what they study and review to improve their chances of doing well.    Worry won’t help them do better or even prepare to take the test.

Think about the situation you face.   What is the best action you can take?  What do you have control over?

5 ways for more happiness

“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.”
― Tom Bodett

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Happiness is a popular topic in the culture today.   People are looking for ways to enjoy life.  It is understandable when you see 50% of marriages failing, 71% of  people are looking for new jobs, or for any  job or are willing to accept a new job.   There are a lot of things that steal energy from you that you have to deal with on a daily basis.  Finding ways to reduce the energy thieves is going to help you experience more  happiness on a daily basis.

What can you do to experience more happiness in your day-to-day life.

1. Find something that is positive in each day.  Find two or three things that created a nice feeling for you.   Write those things down.

2. Manage your time.  Do what you can rather than trying to add too much to your schedule.   We live in a world where everything seems like it needs to be done yesterday.   Is that really the case?  Give yourself more time.

3. Create an open space.  This open space is a few minutes of time to do “nothing”.   Just sit in a comfortable place, breathe and relax.   Set a timer for 5 minutes and just step away from the noise, confusion and motion.

4. Exercise is one of the most important things that you can do to improve levels of happiness.   The body in motion improves mood, improves health, improves mental clarity and improves well-being.   If you don’t have a lot of time to move find a way to include movement in your day.   Five minutes here and five minutes there can add up.  Do something that increases your rate of breathing and boosts your heart rate.

5. Get enough sleep.   The brain needs to rest.   A happy brain will help you manage stress better, focus better, retain information better and it will help you feel better.  Turn of the electronics 30 minutes for bed time.   Clear your mind of all the noise and start to relax.  If you have a lot of thoughts write them down.  Create your plan for the next day and let your mind rest.

Five easy things to do to improve happiness.  Add those into your life and your happiness will start to increase.   Pay attention to your happiness.  Give your day a happiness rating and see how it trends over time.   Be kind to yourself and you’ll start seeing results soon.

If you have ideas on ways to improve happiness leave a comment.  What works for you?

no opportunity wasted

“But why do only unimportant things?” asked Milo, who suddenly remembered how much time he spent each day doing them.

“Think of all the trouble it saves,” the man explained, and his face looked as if he’d be grinning an evil grin–if he could grin at all. “If you only do the easy and useless jobs, you’ll never have to worry about the important ones which are so difficult. You just won’t have the time. For there’s always something to do to keep you from what you really should be doing, and if it weren’t for that dreadful magic staff, you’d never know how much time you were wasting.”
― Norton Juster

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You have this moment in time to make a difference.   An opportunity is here.  What are you going to do with it?

Many people look at the opportunity and wonder is it real.   Others would look at the opportunity and say it is for someone else.   Others would just wait until the opportunity no longer existed.

Now is the time to take advantage of opportunity.   What opportunities do you have today that you will take advantage of?

create a stress free zone

“Stress level: extreme. It’s like she was a jar with the lid screwed on too tight, and inside the jar were pickles, angry pickles, and they were fermenting, and about to explode.”
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Wouldn’t be nice to have a stress free zone where none of the pressures of the world or of your own mind would invade the quiet?   There is without doubt more demands on people’s time than ever before.  Everything is rushed and hurried and that only serves to build stress.   People work more hours in the hopes of staying ahead of the tidal wave of work and they can’t keep up.

I know of people who are working so hard that they give up the only thing left in their day to give, sleep.   The lack of sleep only increases their stress and it boils over into relationships that start feeling the toxins of living in a time compressed week.  Only if there was a way out of the tension and pressures that each day grip us in a tightening vise.

With so much to do and little time to do all that needs to be done it doesn’t seem like there is any way to take time away to restore and revitalize your life.

There are ways to create small quiet zones and little bit of peace in a noisy day.

1. Go for a walk alone – it can be as short as 5 minutes.

2. Sit in your chair, close your eyes, relax and take in some deep breaths and exhale slowly.  Do that for 5 minutes – focus on letting the stress go.  You can say to yourself, “Let my stress go”, just repeat it as you breathe in and out.

3. Get away from electronic devices – phones, screens, texts.  Take a technology break and step away from what those devices say to you.

4. Take a piece of paper and draw or scribble – just do some freehand movement.   Think about your stress and draw it out – let it emerge from you without any direction or control.

The important thing is to take time out to get the stress out.  You might have a bad manager that creates stress for you and the best way to manage that is to “get away”.   Take some time to “get away” from it all.   Even a few minutes can have a powerful and lasting impact on the reduction of your stress.

OK.  Now go try it.  Find a stress free practice that helps you destroy stress in your day.